Vacation Day 1 - The End of a Good Day

The plan was to put the kids to bed early so we could get up early in the morning for Dolly Wood.  That totally didn’t happen.  We made it to our “early dinner” around 5 PM.  The kids and John enjoyed dinner.  We went to this place called “Woodfire Grill” but I wasn’t impressed.  After spending almost $60 on a buffet dinner, I definitely wasn’t impressed.  I understand WHY the rule of free child’s buffet per adult was put into place, but they don’t understand how little my kids eat.  I spent $30 on the kids dinner alone when they  MIGHT have eaten 1.5 kid meals worth of food between the babies.  Landon barely ate anything other than his salad.  Sam didn’t even eat as much as usual.  Except for Sam, the kids aren’t big dinner eaters.  But Sam always eats a huge dinner. 

After we left that place we stopped at the grocery store to get some stuff.  I told John I wanted to stop in to get stuff for breakfast.  An hour later I came out with enough food and snacks for a week!  We didn’t get back to the cabin until almost 9:30.  We put groceries away, changed diapers and got ready for bed.  Jewel-Anne is usually out in 2 minutes and was tonight too.  The surprising thing was, even though TV was on, everyone except Liana was out in less than 5 minutes.  Liana was out in 20. LOL

John is still awake.  That is no small feat at all.  I think I will go get into the hot tub for a while and spend some time with him.  Early day tomorrow!!!

For He satisfies the longing soul, and fills the hungry soul with goodness. - Psalm 107:9 (NKJV)

Blessings,

 Weight Loss Mama

Vacation Day 1 - Arrival

So this week we are on vacation.   I am going to attempt to keep a diary of our trip.  It will be interesting to see how I do without gym access and completely thrown out of my routine.  I am hoping I don’t gain while I am gone. 

The plan was to pack everything by Saturday, pack the van when we got home from church on Sunday, and leave for Dolly Wood by 5 AM.  That plan did not work out.  Saturday packing didn’t happen because we decided to beat the crowds for Father’s Day and took John out to dinner.  Sunday, I left the house at 8 AM with Sam and Liana to do last minute shopping.  We stopped to get gas, went to breakfast, then headed to Wal-mart.  When we got back home I was stressed to the max.  I don’t do well with “last minute” stuff.  I finally looked at John and told him I had to leave.  I didn’t want to put everyone in a bad mood.  I left with Sam and we went to dinner.  John didn’t finish packing and I was very tired so I went to bed.  I woke up at 4 AM and we finished packing.  It was about 6 AM when I realized we couldn’t check into the cabin until 3.  We were taking the dog with us so Dolly Wood was now out of the question.  We had breakfast, did a couple of things and headed for our destination. 

We spent the morning/ early afternoon wasting time.  Last time we were up here we got everyone airbrushed shirts.  John and Landon couldn’t find theirs so we stopped and had new ones made for them.  We stopped at the beef jerky outlet.  I was in heaven!  I stopped by Wal-mart to find another camera because mine decided it wanted to lose its clarity yesterday.  The store must’ve had a sale on cameras because they didn’t have very many in stock.  None of them were quite what I was looking for. Now I am stuck without a camera until I can find a good one. 

We finally arrived at the cabin a few minutes ago.  There is no internet access here.  I guess I will be posting these when I get back to civilization.  We were here all of 5 minutes before Isaiah walked in front of the swing and got hit.  I tried to stop him but was unsuccessful.  I know it’s going to bruise.  A certain son of mine has already been put in time out 3 times.  He must’ve gotten bored on the trip up here because he took his BRAND NEW shoes and shredded the string in one of his shoes.  The other 4 are taking turns running around the place like crazy, up and down the stairs, all around the floor, in a room, out of the room (making sure to stop to lock the door before coming out).  Isaiah has already found the broom and mop and started “cleaning.”  As I type this he just crawled under the sink to play plummer. 

As crazy as all of this sounds, it’s a typical “Vacation Day 1” for our family.  Each of my kids have their own little quirks about them, but I wouldn’t change a thing.  I love my life.  I am so blessed that all these kids call me ”Mama.”  I am blessed to have a husband who is willing to step in and take over the second I tell him I need a break. 

We are going to head out for an early dinner in a few minutes then have a nice quiet, early bedtime.  Mama is going to end her night in the hot tub and hopefully get a few minutes with my husband before we call it a night.  Tomorrow, it is up early to head to Dolly Wood. 

Tomorrow is also our anniversary.  It is hard to believe that this time tomorrow I will have been married 8 years.  We’ve been together almost 10 years.  We have been through so much together.  We have been to the point where we were both ready to walk, but I praise God that we’ve stuck it out.  He drives me insane sometimes, but I can’t imagine my life without him. He is standing behind me right now rubbing my shoulders so I am going to end this and enjoy this unexpected treat before dinner.  Until Later!

For He satisfies the longing soul, and fills the hungry soul with goodness. - Psalm 107:9 (NKJV)

Blessings,

Weight Loss Mama

Father's Day Plans

(For those who know me outside of this blog, I ask that you please keep your negative opinions to yourself. This journey is hard enough without worrying about the well meaning opinions and advice. Unless you've been there you don't know what decisions you would make. We are both just trying to find our way through this crazy mess. I ask that you stop and ask yourself how you would feel if you were in my shoes. Would you find comfort and strength in the words you are about to speak? If the answer is no then can I suggest that you just stop and pray for us instead? I don't say that to be mean. I really appreciate your concern.)





I talked to Dad again today.  I didn't expect to get a hold of him so I called him right as I pulled into the gym's parking lot. I really need to stop having conversations on the way to the gym.  I asked him how he felt about me joining him at church on Sunday. I didn't get the answer I had hoped for.  He told me that all of this stuff is still very new to him and that he hadn't taken the opportunity to discuss it with anyone at his church.  He told me he wasn't ready for me to come to church with him yet.  While it wasn't the answer I hoped for, I respect his honesty and his transparency.  This is all so new and we are still finding our way through it all. 

In previous conversations, he and I have tended to avoid the harder conversations.  When something uncomfortable comes up we usually get off the phone pretty quickly.  Today, we didn't do that.  We discussed my weight loss journey, a bit.  He has diabetes also.  I told him I had lost 70 lbs already.  He asked me how much more I wanted to lose.  When I told him I still had about 150-200 (over estimated as it's more like 180 now) and he told me I was crazy.  I told him that I started at 360.  He said "Well, there's no way you weigh 360 now!"  He shared some of the tips that he'd used over the years to help take pounds off.  It was a really nice conversation. We ended our call with him telling me to call him again soon so we could set up a time to get together.  He told me he didn't want me to think he didn't want to see me again, but he just wasn't ready for such a big step yet.

As I sat there in the gym parking lot, I had such a weird experience.  As a very emotional person, I typically go to the worst case scenerio, especially when things don't work out the way I want them to.  Today, I tried to allow myself to go to that place but I didn't.  I am disappointed that my dream of spending Father's Day in church with my dad won't come true this year.  God knows how much this means to me so I will just hold on to the hope of joining him next year (and every year after that).  My disappointment was turned into joy because 1) He was honest with me. 2) We discussed "normal stuff" (he just got back from a business trip and told me a bit about it). 3) We discussed health issues and he gave me advice.  We ended things on a good note and he even told me he looked forward to seeing me again.  What more could I ask for?

Now, we will spend Father's Day in our church and then take John out for lunch.  He got lawn equipment for his gift, so we already gave it to him.  It's kind of hard to wrap that! ;-)  He was happy with it though.  I see Mother's and Father's Days more about the kids anyway.  It's our day for our kids to go out of their way to show their love.  I have gotten gifts that I had to find a creative use for.  ;-)  For me, it's more about seeing their eyes light up when they have poured their love into a gift to make their parent happy.  I hope it's a great day for John.  I also hope Dad enjoys his day as well.

For He satisfies the longing soul, and fills the hungry soul with goodness. - Psalm 107:9 (NKJV)



Blessing,


Weight Loss Mama

Happy Birthday Liana!!!

Dear Liana,


It has been just over 2 years since you entered my world.  We went from "patiently" awaiting your arrival to our worlds being turned upside down.  You were my first child who I could look at and see signs of neglect.  You captured my heard from the moment I saw you.  Each day you manage to do it again. 


You have grown so much in the last two years.  You have come so far.  You are such a little leader.  You are a little Mama.  You are my mini-me.  You boss around your siblings, younger and older.  Surprisingly, they listen to you most of the time!  Your strong-willed spirit is what kept you going for so long.  You love life and know how to get what you want.


I am so thankful that God chose me to be your Mama.  You have blessed my life.  If I am having a bad day, you will put your little arms around me and hug me so tightly that I can't help smiling.  You make the bad days good and help me to cherish the good days even more than I did.


So here we are.  Today you turn 3.  I cannot wait to see what this year has in store for us.  I know it will be a blast.  You are growing so fast.  I can't wait to see the plans God has for your life.  I am trying so hard to cherish every moment.  I know the second I blink, you will be graduating, getting married, and having babies of your own.  I don't want to miss one single second of your life!


When we asked you what you wanted to do for your birthday, you told me you wanted your nails done, ice cream with Mama and dinner at "fire."  That is just what we will do. You and I will leave soon to go get your nails done.  Lunch will be Marble Slab and we'll have dinner with your dad, siblings, aunts and uncle.  It's going to be a great day because we are celebrating you!  I love you with all my heart, Precious Princess!

Love,

Mama (aka Weight Loss Mama)

Lab Work Update..And Other Random Stuff

So I am driving down the road Wednesday morning on my way to clinic.  I was talking to the lady who did our family pictures to see if they were in yet.  She confirmed they were.  As we were ending our call I had another phone call come through.  It was the doctor's office calling with my lab work.  I rushed off the phone with the photographer and answered the nurse's call. 


I said hello.  She said  "Is this Lisa? This is soandso from dr soandso's office.  I have the results of your lab work. Are you sitting down?"  At this point, I am wondering whether I should pull over for the news she was about to gived me.  They only did two tests - the A1C (to check my diabetes) and a CMP which checks a little bit of everything.  She started out by saying the CMP was great.  Everything looked wonderful.  Metformin can effect your liver so they wanted to make sure my numbers were good before we continued the medication.


As she tells me the results I am now in panic mode thinking that my diabetes is completely out of control.  Why else would I need to sit down? She said "That just leaves the results of your A1C. They were <insert dramatic pause by nurse> PHENOMINAL! Your A1C was 4.9!!! Good work. The doctor said to continue doing what you're doing."  Wait one minute!!! What did she just say?  Can numbers even go that low?  I immediately called my husband...I texted my sister who asked what the number should be. She later texted me the info she found on google that said the number should be between 4.0 and 6.0.  I just searched for a chart that went that low.  Believe it or not, that really took some digging to find a chart that went that low.  The results is that an A1C of 4.9 is equivalent of an average blood sugar of 97.


I finally made it to clinic to get my shot.  I shared the good news with them.  They cheered me on.  It feels so great to know I am doing the right things and having proof of it.  My body is changing.  My diabetes is completely under control.  I have exercised 4 days this week and will go back again tomorrow.


It still hurts to walk out of the house each day.  I miss my babies like crazy when I am not here.  I feel a lot of mommy guilt.  I was getting ready to leave yesterday.  I had kissed everyone except for Isaiah.  As I was walking toward the door, he went to stand in front of it.  I bent down and kissed him and told him I was going to the gym. "No!" Yes, Mommy has to go to the gym. I love you and I will be back soon. "Noooo!" Please move so Mama can leave. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"  Daddy picked him up and I left with both of us in tears.  I had to remind myself the whole way to the gym that my kids are the reason I am doing this.  The momentary seperation we experience while I am at the gym isn't nearly as painful as the seperation we will experience if I don't take care of myself. 


Yesterday my older "baby" brother celebrated his *bleeeeep* anniversary of his 19th birthday.  He has always said that he is 19.  I am so glad I got to celebrate with him.  We all spent the evening laughing and arguing over a picture my sister had given me for my photo album for Dad.  She swore it was me...I don't think it is. Neither of us won the other over, but it was so fun. LOL


Speaking of Dad:  My heart is really torn at the moment.  I constantly struggle with giving him enough space and not wanting him to think I don't care.  I would love to spend Father's Day in church with him.  I am not sure this is something I will be brave enough to push though.  He hasn't asked me to join him and I have to wonder if it's because he isn't ready for that.  When we changed our vacation plans to do something closer to home, my first thought was that I would be close enough to home should things work out for me to live out my dream.  Now I need to add that I haven't asked him...he hasn't given me a reason to think he wouldn't want me there.  I just tend to over-analyze things.  Hey, it's what I do.  Please pray that God will give me the courage to do whatever HIS plan is for me concerning all of this.  Thank you.


Blessings,

Weight Loss Mama

Update from the Doctor

Yesterday was an interesting day.  It was a great day, though.  We had a doctor's appt for me, I needed to get my ring from the Jeweler's and some of the kids had dental appts. My day started out feeding the kids breakfast.  Normally, John does this.  Because we had so many appts, I needed to have everyone ready to walk out the door when he got home, though.  I gave them bagels and cream cheese for breakfast so I could get in the shower.  They enjoyed breakfast, but I discovered that I had left my gym bag in the van.  Since I started going to the gym, I have been living out of my gym bag.  I got tired of never having what I needed anywhere so it all stays in there now.  It was at this point that I started to panic.  Life is crazy right now.  It takes us 30 minutes to leave the house to go anywhere and my first appt was at 11.  John got home and I got showered.  We made it to our first appt on time.


The first appt was with my new doctor.  I got there an hour early because my appt was scheduled later than I originally thought.  I knew I was going to need bloodwork so I skipped breakfast.  By 11:30, I was feeling really shaky.  I asked the receptionist how long it would be before I was called back and she said she'd check.  They ended up taking me ahead of a couple people.  I felt really bad for that because I know their time is important too.  They checked my weight, my blood pressure and went over my medical history.  The doctor came in and was super sweet.  He has a great personality and I love him to death.  We talked about my "tunnel hearing" and a couple other things.  He ordered labs, had his nurse clean my ears, gave me my prescription and was gone.  The nurse cleaned out my ears and I can hear again.  That is amazing.  The lab tech was even able to get my blood drawn with the first stick!


John called the Jewelers while I was in the doctor's office.  My ring hadn't come in.  I was so disappointed because I knew I wouldn't have time to get the ring until the next day now.  We went to get my lunch aftter we left the doctor's office. While I was eating the Jeweler called to say my ring was in.  I have been without a wedding ring for a couple months now.  This may not seem like a big deal to some people, but my rings mean a lot to me.  I put them back on for our family photos a couple weeks ago and the rings drove me crazy because they were so loose.


Our next stop was the dentist.  The kids were seeing a new dentist today.  Sam, Jewel-Anne and Isaiah had appts today  because they refused to schedule everyone at one time.  When we arrived I told John I was going to go in and fill out their paper work and would come out and get the kids when it was closer to their appt time.  I got in there and no one was at the reception desk.  I FINALLY got someone to help me a few minutes later.  I should've just walked out at that point.  Let me stop here and say, when I called to make the appointments, I was on the phone for over 30 minutes with the receptionist and I gave her all the information she needed and spelled the kids' names at least 3 times.  The paper work they gave me was print outs of what they had entered into the computer.  I sat down to fill out the paper work.  I have never seen such such a mess in my life.  Liana's name was spelled wrong.  Our address was wrong.  The kicker was when they listed SAMUEL, MY SEVEN YEAR OLD, as the responsible party for these children.  I walked back up to the receptionist and had to wait forever again.  I told the lady the errors that were made and asked for blank copies of their new patient paperwork.  You would've thought I had just asked her to hand over her first born.  She told me to just mark through the stuff that was incorrect.  If I did that there would've been no room to write anything because the only thing that wasn't wrong on these sheets were their last names!!!  I commented about them listing my minor son as the person financially responsible for the kids and she told me they did that so they could keep the accounts together.  At that point Mama had enough and said some things I shouldn't have.  I told her that they could've linked the accounts together just as easily if they had listed me or my husband the way I told them to when they asked who was financially responsble on the phone. I turned to sit down and then told the nurse I wanted to cancel the appointments because this was ridiculous.  I know people deserve grace, but when there are that many mistakes made on forms and no one is willing to do anything to correct them it's unacceptable.  What else will they be negligent about?  I walked out and was venting to John about everything that happened when the office manager walked out with the kids' insurance cards. 


This lady looked at me and started verbally attacking me.  She asked me what I thought was so ridiculous about their office staff and I told her I had already expressed my concerns to the receptionist who was unwilling to help me and I would just take my kids somewhere else.  She stood there in the parking lot and started yelling at me about how I had scheduled appts that weren't going to be kept now. I could see the vein in my husband's neck start to pop out and knew it was time to leave before we decided he'd had enough.  All of this over the fact that they wouldn't give me blank paper work to fill out since they'd made so many mistakes.  We left and I made an appt with another dentist for all 5 kids at one time!


I drove to the mall and got my ring.  I love it! It is gorgeous.  It was a "promise ring" but it makes a perfect temporary ring.  The band forms two little hearts and each hearts have a small diamond in it.  I asked for a box so John could put it on me.  He placed it on my finger and all was right in my world again. 


On our way home we stopped to get my medicine.  Then we headed home for me to get ready for my Mom's Night Out with Stephanie!  It had been forever since I had been able to go out with her.  We had a great time as we talked about everything going on in each other's lives.  We looked at pictures from me when I was younger.  It was the perfect ending to my crazy day. 


I guess I should end this blog with the good news.  Last month I had gained when I went into the clinic.  Yesterday at the doctor I weighed 294!!!  I lost 5 lbs in 3 weeks!!!  I was  very excited about that. 

For He satisfies the longing soul, and fills the hungry soul with goodness. - Psalm 107:9 (NKJV)


Blessing,


Weight Loss Mama

Two Week Anniversary - Baptisms and Baby Dedications

Yesterday, I witnessed the most precious things in the lives of my children.  A year ago I had the pleasure of praying with my oldest and leading him to the Lord.  There is nothing better for a Mama's heart than knowing that your child will spend eternity with you and knowing they have made the choice to follow Christ.  Two months ago we were sitting in church when they made the announcement that they were going to be baptizing in June.  After we left church Sam asked if he could be baptized.  I told him to pray about it, because I wanted to make sure he was doing it for the right reasons.  After a week of talking about what it means to be baptized, I called the church office to put  him on the list. 

They had things scheduled so that Baby Dedication was supposed to be last week.  Due to a schedule change, Liana and Isaiah were also dedicated. As parents, one of the most important things we can do for our children is to give them back to God.  We learn about this in the book of Samuel.  This happens to be one of my favorite stories in the Bible.  Hannah was barren.  She cried out to God and asked him to bless her with a son.  When God granted her petition, Hannah took Samuel to the temple and gave him back to God.  With a baby dedication, we promise to raise our children in the fear of the Lord. 


Yesterday, service started off by baptizing 11 people.  Sam was one of them.  John went back with him and then helped him get dressed afterwards. As he stepped into the baptismal, he disappeared.  The pool was taller than he was.  I was a mess.  My heart was overjoyed and I couldn't stop crying.  I have a lot of dreams for each of my children. But, there is nothing I want more for them than their salvation; without that, nothing else matters. 


Then, John and I stood before God and promised that we would place our children in HIS hands.  I was so emotional I could barely stand up.  As the elders gathered  behind us, I know they thought I was going to fall.  I immediately noticed several hands on my back.  ;-)  Each of them was given a Bible. 


After church, we went out to lunch at Chili's.  Everyone was very excited because Aunt Cindy, Ms. Cyndee and Aunt Kathy not only joined us at church, but they went to lunch with us as well!  My kids surprised me by behaving relatively well during lunch. 

Yesterday was also the two week anniversary of meeting my Dad.  That seems so unreal.  It seems like it's been a lot longer than that.  So much healing as taken place during that time.  Life has been so busy, also.  It seems like I have barely stopped for anything.  My big focus right now is getting Dad's Father's Day present finished. 


Being the youngest (and a huge surprise) in my family has it's benefits.  Mom wasn't the greatest about keeping stuff, but thankfully my siblings have kept things.  They all have pictures of me.  The other night, my brother gave me pictures from when I was little and a picture of my Dad.  That meant the world to me.  Yesterday, my sister gave me a packet of photos to make copies of, too.  There is one picture of me that looks just exactly like Liana.  If it wasn't for the "old photo" look, I would've sworn it was her.  I really wouldn't be surprised to one day find out that we are some how biologically related.  Stephanie has always called her Mini Lisa because she looks and acts just like me.


My day was nearly perfect.  The only thing that would've made it better, would've been to share it with my Dad.  I am going to get the DVD of service, though.  One day we will watch it together.  I am so blessed with a great family.  Life is amazing and so worth living. 



For He satisfies the longing soul, and fills the hungry soul with goodness. - Psalm 107:9 (NKJV)



Blessing,


Weight Loss Mama