A LOVED ONE KNEW HE'D REACHED THE END OF LIFE'S JOURNEY,
BUT HE'D BEEN HOLDING TO GOD'S HAND A LONG, LONG TIME
AND AS I KNELT BESIDE HIS BED,
MY HEART WAS THRILLED AT WHAT HE SAID,"
IF I GO, OR IF I STAY, THE VICTORY IS MINE."
NONE OF US REALLY KNOWS ABOUT TOMORROW,
WE MUST PREPARE TO GO TO HEAVEN ANY DAY
BUT WHILE WE'RE HERE LET'S TRUST THE LORD,
HE'LL LEAD US SAFE TO OUR REWARD
AND BY HIS GRACE, WE'LL BE A WINNER EITHER WAY
(CHORUS)
I'M A WINNER EITHER WAY, IF I GO OR IF I STAY
FOR I'LL STILL HAVE MY JESUS EACH PASSING DAY
I'LL HAVE MY HEALING HERE BELOW, OR LIFE FOREVER IF I GO
OH PRAISE THE LORD, I'M A WINNER EITHER WAY.
Last month, my sister's beloved dog died. Most of my siblings on my mother's side do not have children. Their pets are their babies. My children love their "cousins" and have grieved for this precious dog. It's brought up quite the discussions with my oldest two. My oldest son feels that his brother always gets his prayers answered and has all the "luck". He feels that anything he wishes or prays for will render the opposite.
He was talking to me again today asking why Kaley had to die. He said when she started getting sick that he prayed for God to heal her. Then he said, "I did the same with Grammie and she died, too." What he doesn't understand, at nine years old, is that his prayers for Grammie and Kaley's healing were answered. They just weren't answered in the way he hoped they would be.
As Christians, we don't want our children to grow up always getting what they want and never experiencing hardships. The hardships teach us so much about God's love. Even though, I sometimes ask the very same questions he asks. While nothing bad comes from my Father, I know that God hand-picks the trials He allows me to face. He does this with my best interest in mind to, among many things, draw my heart closer to His. I want my children to understand that God doesn't allow sorrow because He is cruel, but only to purify us. Still, that is a hard lesson for a child to learn. That is a hard lesson for me to learn at 30 years old.
When mom first passed, and even now, I know that God could've chosen to heal my mama here. Oh now much better that would've been for ME and for my family. God, in His infinite wisdom, chose to take her instead. It hurts, oh how it hurts, but He knows what is best. There wasn't a day before or since her passing, that I have walked alone. I believe that God knew every step I would take long before any of it happened. No matter where I go, He's already there preparing the way for me.
I have learned that no matter what, God is faithful. Even when we can't understand, He is still there. It hurts my Mama's heart to see my babies suffer so, but I try to make sure I use these times as teaching moments and surround them with my love. I know that all I lack, God will surely fill in those gaps. HIS love and HIS understanding are always enough.
for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: - Philippians 4:11b & 13 NIV
Blessings,
Mama
