I don't know if that is a medical diagnosis or not, but that is where I am right now. I am in the "Stressed Out Mommy" village right now. It is not where I want to be or where I want to parent from, but it is where I am.
Sometime last week, I noticed my body showing signs of stress. My teeth were starting to clench involuntarily. My neck and upper back started hurting. Now, I am starting to suffer from stress headaches.
I have suffered from headaches most of my life, but these are a bit different. They usually start in my neck and upper back before they proceed to a full-blown headache that I cannot get rid of. I will never forget the first one I got. No matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. I was eighteen. I was working at a convenience store. At the time, I was their best employee. I would work shifts that no one else would. I would go in and work when others called in. You could say that I was married to my job, but I was 18 with no other real responsibilities so it worked. When I wasn't working, I was babysitting. My body kept screaming it had enough, but I wouldn't listen. I developed a headache that would not go away. I took Tylenol, but it didn't help. Advil didn't help either. During this time I tried every over-the-counter pain reliever that was available. I was given some prescription medicine by my doctor that didn't help either.
I was sent for an MRI because of my history of a brain tumor, but it was clear. Finally, the doctor said that it was stress. He sent me for physical therapy. That brought my pain level from insane to manageable during the therapy sessions, but within hours I felt like I was dying again. I finally had to quit my job. Finally, after about 18 months the pain went away. I know it sounds crazy to say I had a headache for 18 months, but it was seriously one never-ending headache. I suffer from stress headaches and migraines now, but nothing as bad as that one. Still, the fear is there when I start seeing the signs of a stress headache.
Now, I am searching for ways to relieve my stress. My therapist moved out of the area about a month ago. I am currently waiting for my new one to get back from vacation, so I can schedule an appointment with her. I am journaling and trying other stress relieving techniques. Hopefully, this will end soon.
Blessings,
Mama
