Doctor Visits

Wednesday, I went back to the doctor.  The anxiety medicine he put me on last month did not help.  In fact, it made things worse.  I went from feeling anxious to being depressed and couldn't think straight.  I was having bad headaches again, especially when I would lay down at night.  The cloudy feeling was normal from what I understand.  At least, that's what the pharmacist said.  Still, it wasn't working for me.  I got to the point that I didn't feel safe driving.  I was crying a lot, too.  He switched my medicine and now I only take it once a day.  I am taking it at night so if there's any foggy feeling, I'll sleep through it.


They weighed me at the doctors.  I am not happy with the results.  I am a stress eater.  When the doctors started mentioning things like Congestive Heart Failure, heart problems, and the bad news from the fertility specialist was just enough to make me stop caring.  I didn't watch my diet and I haven't worked out in months.   That was a recipe for weight gain.  Right now, I just feel like I can't get up and go.  Hopefully, once my medicine starts to work I will feel more like a human again and can start exercising like I should.


I am forcing myself to slow down and to really pay attention to my body.  I am learning some of the triggers of the anxiety.  If I can figure them out then I can work on controlling my body's reaction to that stress.  It isn't fun worrying about everything and that is where I am right now. I just don't feel like I am good enough to measure up to anyone's standards.  I have to stop comparing myself to others if I want to feel better.


Yesterday, I got out of the house for a bit.  While I was driving, I heard a sermon on the life of Jesus.  The minister was talking about how it is prideful to compare ourselves to others.  He said our measuring stick should be Jesus.  Are we living up to HIS standard?  That really spoke to me.  I am trying to remember that when I want to start being so critical on myself.


Blessings,

Weight Loss Mama

A Year Later

Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of my first conversation with Dad.  I remember that like it was yesterday.  It took almost two weeks from the time I started looking for him until I finally got a hold of him.  That first phone call was so scary.  It took 5 more weeks for us to finally meet, but it was the start of it all.


A lot of things have changed over the last year.  I am starting to get to know my Dad.  I have tried to give Dad the space he needed to process all of this, so things haven't progressed as much as I'd like.  I take comfort in knowing that God is in control of this situation and everything will work according to His Glory.


One thing I didn't count on was the relationship that would develop between his wife and me.  She was so accepting of my entrance to her world.  She has done nothing but show me an example of Christ's love.  No one will ever replace my Mama, but I have gladly give this lady the title of my Bonus Mama.  I am blessed to have such a wonderful lady in my life.


I have been blessed to do what a lot of people in my position never get to do.  No matter what happens, I am thankful that God gave me the opportunity to know these two incredible people.  I am a very blessed lady!


Blessings,

Weight Loss Mama