The Ups and Downs of This Journey

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I had this really long blog post (do I know how to do any other type) typed out and some how I lost it.


I am sitting here with a confession to make.  I have really struggled the last few months.  I gained some of my weight back, but now I am in the process of losing again.  I had gained back up to 292 but I am currently 287 so that is good.  That is what I will focus on.  I am still losing.  I stumbled, but I've picked back up again. 


I really started struggling sometime between March and May.  Life was pretty mild back in March, but when I seen the movie October Baby.  All of the emotions that I had been suppressing for 28 years came flooding to the surface and I was an emotional mess.  I created this emotional hell where I would meet this man who hated me even though he was supposed to love me.  The flipside of this nightmare was that he would love me and everyone else would hate me.  Even now I am still struggling to see where I fit into his life.  He is a great man.  It's all just really weird.  This is only the tip of the iceberg with my stress though.  Family, jobs, financies, and a host of other things plague my thoughts.  It's a never ending movie that I cannot turn off. 


So now I set here trying to navigate through all of this.  I need to get back into a healthier routine.  I looked back at my weight tracker today.  I was sure I would be disappointed.  A couple days before I met Dad I was at 304.  Today I am at 287.  I have lost 17 lbs in the last 4.5 months.  It's not the greatest, but I will own it.  I am proud I did that well.  I have lost a couple pounds this week alone when I didn't think I would.


Last week, as part of my new routine, John made me go out each evening.  I left when he got home and took some time to de-stress.  I have been going to Waffle House.  It's by far not the healthiest choice, but it is what I have been wanting.  I have been taking a book and my new Bible Study by Beth Moore along with  me.  I set there for a couple hours and just enjoy the time I have away from everything.  It is not as quiet as I could have if I went somewhere else, but the noise doesn't bother me too much.  Even with me eating more carbs than I would like, I have still lost 2 lbs this week.  That is pretty good for me.


For those of you keeping track, I am still housing this headache.  This is INSANITY, but I am thankful for the days when the pain isn't as intense!


I ask for your prayers.  I really need the strength right now.  Thank you so much to those who have stuck by me and have been an encouragement to me.  You are amazing.


Blessings,

Weight Loss Mama