Getting Back Up

I have made several posts over the last couple weeks completely disgusted with myself because I had lost my drive to proceed with this journey.  I knew I needed to do it.  I wanted to do it.  I guess I just thought it wasn't that big of a problem.  I knew I was gaining weight, but I didn't realize exactly how much.  Today I walked into clinic with Landon, who had a doctor's appointment this morning also, to get my shot.  I decided I would get my medicine today.  I haven't really been taking it like I am supposed to.  I had thought about waiting until I had lost back down to where I was so I would only have gained a couple pounds.  The more I thought about it, I would rather face the music and have the praise later for losing again. 

296...

296...

296!!!!

 

 

To think that a year ago that would've been a beautiful number to see.  I remember when I first seen that number, how excited I was.  Now that same number makes me feel like such a failure. For anyone keeping track here, I have gained 12 pounds since my last clinic weigh-in.  I feel terrible, stupid, and a whole host of other things that I have allowed myself to do this, but what's done is done. I could continue to harp on myself for what I HAVEN'T done. However, I am chosing to extend grace and forgiveness to my human self and move forward.  So that is what I will do.  I have church tonight, but then it's back to the gym again. 

 

 

I knew something was up because I had stopped moving enough for my body to start hurting when I move around.  My walking up the steps nearly kill my knees.  I know what I have to look forward to.  I ask that each of you pray for me.  If you see that I haven't blogged much or that I am slacking PLEASE say something to me.  I'd rather have my feelings hurt than to end up back where I was. 

 

 

I am actually looking forward to seeing what the next  month will bring.  YOU should look forward to lots of whiny facebook statuses and blog posts about TB again.  I am excited about those nice, hot showers full of water pressure that is to die for!  The hot tub has been calling to me for a long time.  LOL  In all seriousness though, I feel better when I am working out.  Please pray for strength and wisdom to work through all of the aches and pains!

 

 

 

And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. - Galatians 6:9 NKJV

Blessings,

Weight Loss Mama