I am listening to some of my music on itunes this morning. I am sitting in the living room with Liana. Landon's doing chores. Sam and Isaiah are playing in their room. Jewel-Anne is still sleeping. Mama is enjoying the semi-quietness of my house before the chaos begins - the calm before the storm. I was checking some emails and messing around on facebook.
The song Completely came through my playlist I looked up to say something to Landon and what I seen brought tears to my eyes. My precious little girl, eyes closed and arms stretched toward Heaven was dancing to and singing with the music. Sometimes I forget that my babies aren't babies anymore. Even the smallest ones are growing and understanding more.
It's moments like this, after hard days, that God uses to humble me. What, on this earth, was God thinking when He blessed me with these precious little ones? I am so unworthy to be their Mama.I will never understand why God chose ME for this great task. He, who sees my past, present and future thought that I was the perfect person for the job?
God, did You realize how I would daily fail at this task? (He whispers "Lisa, I created YOU. I knew you before I formed you. I know you better now, than you will ever know yourself. Of course I knew you would fail.)
Didn't You realize that I wasn't equipped to be everything they needed me to be? (In Your weakness, I will be your strength. My grace is sufficient to make up for your faults. I have the power to supply everything you need to help ME shape their lives into what they need to be.)
I don't deserve the love they show me. No matter how much I fail, they are forgiving and love me in a way that a can't be described as anything but amazing. Being their Mama has taught me far more about God's love for His children that I could've ever learn any other way. They daily teach me how we are to approach God, our Heavenly Father. They teach me about faith, how to trust and how to love. I think they are teaching me far more than I will ever be able to teach them. I am so thankful for them.
Lord, I will never understand how or why you chose ME to be their Mama, but I am so thankful that You don't see me as I see me. Please help me to be all I need to meet their needs. Apart from You I cannot complete the task You have set before me. Please give me a limitless supply of strength, wisdom and patience! Help me to remember to stop and think before I speak when I am angry. Help me to find more ways to show them how much I love them. Help me to speak to and capture their hearts. Help me draw closer to You so that I can lead them to You also. I want them to be followers of You, good parents and a friend to those who need one. I want them to come to You because of my example and not inspite of it. Thank you for loving me enough to bless me so much. Amen.
Blessings,
Weight Loss Mama
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