One Year Post-Op Appointment with Bariatric Clinic

 Today I had my one year post-op appt with my bariatric clinic today. This year has been a definite roller coaster to say the least. I do not regret having the surgery for anything, but I have struggled for every pound I have lost. This is the longest I have "stayed on the wagon" without burning it down. Sure, I have fallen off a few times along the way but I have gotten back up each time. 

Even when I was doing everything completely by the book, my progress was slow. I have tried going to appointments monthly with my clinic to see if accountability helped. Their idea of accountability was weighing me (of course) and then lecturing me if I hadn't lost enough weight or if I had gained. The one month that I kicked butt (I lost like 11 lbs) was the month I had started having issues with swallowing. I actually saw Dr. W that visit (a rare occurrence) and because they were so focused on my GI issues (rightly so) they didn't have anything positive to say about my weight loss.

We have tried Phentermine. My PCP put me on Mounjaro again. (I had taken it prior to surgery) I do not respond to the weight loss side effects of Mounjaro. I didn't prior to surgery and I haven't since surgery. I'm on a pretty high dose also. I have lost weight, it is just very slow. Kind of a step forward, a couple steps back kind of progress. 

During this process, I have started working with a mental health therapist and a registered dietician. While I do not have the official diagnosis, we have an unofficial diagnosed eating disorder. (I will probably make a separate post about that.) My therapist has mentioned that multiple times. My last appointment with my RD, she put a name to it. She thinks I have BED. I do not have all the symptoms of Binge Eating Disorder, but I have enough of them that I can say "I could see that." She has mentioned a medication she wants me to talk to my doctor about. I made an appointment to speak with my PCP, but I cannot get into him for a couple weeks. I talked to the PA about it today and she was in agreement with me talking to my PCP about it. She said it was something that the bariatric clinic wouldn't prescribe. 

The past few weeks, I haven't exercised like I should. I haven't stuck to my diet as close. I have gained 7.3 pounds since my last bariatric appointment two months ago. So almost a pound a week on average. I am now right at 199. I promised myself I would never hit 200 again. 

I *THINK* I have found my wake up point. I have lost my "want to." and I am desperate to find it again. I know my WHY... that isn't the problem. The problem is the drive to actually do it. I will get there, though.