It has been a good long while since I have had a date with the walking pad. I had a mental block as well as a physical block about getting back on it. I am a creature of habit. I do fine as long as do something EVERY DAY. Well, unfortunately I was walking every single day with no breaks. When I got to the point that clinic kept fussing about me not losing (or losing fast enough) I got up to two hours a day...then 4 hours a day on my walking pad. It got to the point that I was waking up at 2 AM on some mornings (like Sundays) if I had something to do if it stopped me from walking first thing in the morning. Somewhere along the way I lost my joy (or as an old friend used to say "my want to") so I stopped for a day. It didn't become an abrupt stop. But one day made it easier to stop again and then that became another stop then instead of stopping for one day...one day became two... two became several... several became a week. Weeks became a month. And then I told myself that I wasn't getting back on it until I could be consistent. Oh, I tried a couple times, but the times I tried, I just felt like a failure because I wouldn't stick with it. I wouldn't do four hours... or I wouldn't do every day... So I just quit.
Let me stop for a minute and tell you something. I have had to learn to accept help. I have a great set of friends and family who support me through this, but I would be remiss if I failed to spotlight the help of my therapist and my dietician. My therapist has been pushing me to get back on the walking pad, to walk outside, to do anything that gave me some type of movement. For weeks, my dietician (Thank you NOURISH!) has been encouraging me to get back to moving. I had an appointment with her yesterday. She has offered all kinds of things that went above and beyond what I feel are her responsibilities to help see me succeed. Yesterday she told me she would send me a message each morning to remind me to get on the walking pad. Do I need to be reminded to get on the walking pad? No. It sits in my room taunting me all hours of the day. I do not need the reminder, but her kindness and willingness to go above and beyond touched my heart. She also told me that I didn't have to do an hour. She told me that any movement was progress and that we could work up to my goal of an hour. (read TWO...or more)
I cannot tell you exactly what it was that broke through to me, but SOMETHING (along with God's grace) got my lazy butt up this morning and I got on the walking pad. I didn't have a goal set in stone. I wanted to do an hour. I wanted to do 3.5 mph (where I believe I left off at), but I would've been fine (I think) with any amount of movement because it was more than I did yesterday. I got on the walking pad, turned on my Christian music play list. I turned the WP to 3.5 MPH and walked for an hour. I am tired, but it's a good tired. Now I feel like I can face the day with confidence instead of dread because I have completed the task that usually looms over my head all day.
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