Eyes

 This has been a hard year...hard summer...hard month...hard week...hard day. I had an MRI done in December of last year. Long story short (or as short as I can make it) that was the start of it all. The MRI showed my shunt was over draining. The neurologist that I was seeing locally wasn't qualified to treat me so she wanted to refer me to another neurologist for this problem. She tried for a while to find someone locally to take my case, but because I was already shunted no one locally would agree to take my case. My neurosurgeon who installed the shunt has since retired.

So in May, I ended up at Vanderbilt Hospital to see another neurologist who then referred me to a neurosurgeon who I saw in June. During this time I had a shunt series, an MRI and an MRV. I also had to see my eye doctor for a specific exam. Everyone was trying to figure out if my shunt was causing problems. The Neurologist and the Neurosurgeon frustrate me with the differing opinions. I will see the Neurologist and he will see or agree there is potentially a problem, but then the neurosurgeon is like "Ah, I've seen worse cases than this." Both are excellent doctors, but it is frustrating at times hearing the differing opinions.

This week was the week of doctors for me. Tuesday, I went back to Vanderbilt for my three month check up. My day started with a CT. We go to the neurologist who shows us the CT and gives us a couple things to look at. He also told us that my pituitary gland is enlarged. He has ordered another MRI that I will have in December when I return to him. I have been having daily headaches so he referred me back to my primary doctor for some med changes. The neurologist is going to be the one treating the headaches but he is wanting to increase some meds I am already on so he wants the primary doctor's approval in doing this. Next, off to the neurosurgeon for my follow-up appt with him. He listened to my concerns and the issues the neurologist brought up as well as the findings from the eye appointment and ruled out shunt issues. "I've seen worse." Frustrating, but I am glad all is ok for now on the shunt front.

Yesterday, I had my last appointment with my local neurologist. The issues I saw her for she decided would be monitored by Vanderbilt so I didn't need her any longer. This was a huge answer to prayer because my visits to her were very stressful.

Today, I had to follow-up with my eye doctor. Unfortunately, that appointment didn't go the way I had prayed it would. The last several times I have seen him, my eye pressure has been elevated. This is the third time it has been tested in the last twelve months and it was elevated a couple times before that. When I went to see him in June he decided that he wanted to see me in three months for further testing. I had several things done to my eyes. His diagnosis is that I am in the early stages of Glaucoma. He put me on an eye drop that I will use in one eye and I'll see him again in a month where they will once again test my eye pressure. If the drops do what they are supposed to then I will start using them in both eyes.

I did okay with this news until I got home. On the way home I spoke with my best friend. I spoke with one of my sisters. I was ok. I took one look at my husband and started sobbing. Then I did something stupid. What is the #1 rule when you are faced with medical issues? DO NOT GOOGLE! Well, I googled!! Stupid, stupid Lisa. I knew better but I did it any way. I have spent my evening grieving and praying. I turned on worship music and prayed. I know that none of this has surprised God. I know that I am in His hands and He has my best interest at heart. I am thankful that we caught it early and praying it doesn't get worse. I would be lying if I didn't admit that I am scared. This disease can make you go blind. The thought of never being able to my husband and kids again, never being able to see my future grandchildren, not being able to read or drive or...or...or... It shakes me to my core. But God... I am doing my best to lean on Him; to cast my cares on Him, because He is ultimately the only one who has any control over my situation. I can, and will, seek meds and treatment, but my future is in His hands alone. So if you have made it this far, thank you for reading my tale of woe. If you are the praying type, I would appreciate your prayers. Thank you.