A Month In Review

When I started this journey a month ago, I never imagined where this would lead me. Never did I imagine the emotional roller coaster this month would bring. I'm not where I want to be with my weight, but I am making progress. I never realized what an addiction food was for me either. Never did I imagine the heart break I would go through and how this would test my faith.

I haven't been blogging as much since Jeremiah's death. I have noticed a HUGE difference in the way I feel about things too. This blog has been my emotional outlet since I started this journey. When I get things out then it helps me to be more positive. I have really noticed how down I feel about things.

I discovered yesterday that I had been forgetting my meds. I have a couple more pills than I'm supposed to have at this point. I had noticed that my appetite had been increasing, but thought the pills were just losing their effectiveness. This morning I took my meds and I'm feeling so good again. I have so much energy right now. I have been out and had lunch. This was when I realized I hadn't taken my meds! ;-)

I have been using Wii Fit more since Jeremiah's death. I have discovered I can burn quite a few calories with it. There is this table tilting game that has really become my favorite. I have managed to beat the basic round. The plus side to the Wii Fit is that the kids love to watch me and help "coach" me. Unfortunately, this is usually a huge distraction.

John and I have been talking more about our angel children so that has been a huge blessing. He's finally getting some of the stuff "out there." It has done wonders for me as well. We have set aside time each day to spend talking just he and I. That is something we haven't done in a long time.

Jeremiah's death has changed me. I am more determined now to get healthy so I can be here for my living children. I am determined (God willing) to have more birth children. I want to have a healthy pregnancy that ends in a healthy birth. I am thankful for the time I had with Jeremiah. God really blessed me with that boy. I just don't feel that He is finished blessing.

If I had to sum up the entire month I would say that I have been through hell...BUT I am still standing. I made it. I haven't quit. I haven't given up. The things that Satan sent to destroy me, God has used for His glory. I will not give up. I won't back down. I've come too far to turn back now. This month certainly didn't start or end the way I planned it, but praise be to God I'm still here. He deserves all the praise and glory for it.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11

Weight Loss Mama