Pastors

While it's a cute cartoon, it strikes a chord with me. I wonder if his pastor would search for him if he only gave $500 or even $100 a year? What if all he could afford was $1 a year? Some churches get so wrapped up in the finances that they fail to remember that they are supposed to love everyone. Regardless of how much that person contributes to the pastor's salary.

 

Now please don't get me wrong. I know that a church needs money to help others in the world. I believe a pastor's family should be taken well care of by his congregation. I believe everyone should give what they can, to the church in tithes and offerings. I just don't believe a person should be judged by the amount they are able/willing to give a church.

 

My pastor is an amazing pastor. He works very hard through his business. He works very hard with and for his family. He takes care of the congregation through sermons and helping those who need it. I have no idea how much he gets paid or even if he does at this point because we are such a small church. However, what I do know is that he serves faithfully each time we meet as well as the needs we have throughout the week. I am blessed to be part of his flock. I have finally found love from a pastor. He has taken care of my family. He loves my family and treats us like we are HIS family.

 

 

I will admit that I went into this church with a huge chip on my shoulder. Church had never been kind to me. I never really fit in at any of the churches I went too. Growing up, my mom had issues because our pastor had left while my grandmother was terribly sick. He went on vacation and wasn't there to preach her funeral. The next church I went to was a good church but I just didn't fit in. The next one was where I met my husband, where all of my children were dedicated. It was the church I was attending when my mom passed away. John and I were a young couple who had five kids and very little money. We gave, but not to the capacity of others. When we left that church our pastor or his staff didn't know my children's names even though he had dedicated all off them.

 

 

When we found OUR church we had been searching for "home" for about six months. I fully expected our (now) pastor to be just like the others. But he isn't. He is loving. He welcomes my children into worship service. He doesn't believe that children should be separated from their parents where they aren't seen OR heard. He has taken us in and treated us the way a pastor should. I am so thankful that God brought us to this place of healing.

 

 

I understand it takes all kinds. Some people don't mind a pastor who is out of touch with his congregation. For my family, though, we desire that closeness with our church family. When my husband was sick, earlier this year, our church family took care of us. They visited my husband in the hospital. They brought meals to us once he was home. They really take care of each other. They have restored my faith in the human church. Today, I can say with absolute certainty that if I were lost, my pastor would be looking for me and give all he had to find me. It's a great feeling to be home.

 

 

Blessings,

 

Mama

How Do I Just Walk Away?

Stepping out in faith is so hard.  Even when you know that God is calling you to something better, you still long to go back to what is familiar.   Facebook can be such a great blessing, but it often makes me long for what was.  I long for the relationships that God delivered me from.  The places and people of yesterday are not bad at all.  God has just led us down a different bath.


I was looking through a friend's photos today.  I seen a lot of pictures of people from our old church.  Some of them I've been blessed to keep in touch with through facebook and others I have a stronger relationship with and I talk to them quite often or we hang out together.  Other people are just a distant memory.


There are times in my life where I long to be that person that everyone likes.  I want to be the popular, Christian who is very outgoing.  I long to be the person who is missed when she doesn't show up for church. I want to fit into the mold to make THAT relationship work because I desire that person's love and affection.    But would I be willing to sacrificed all that I am to get that?  Do I so desperately seek that person/group of people's attention that I am willing to change to fit into their mold of perfect?  I spent many years trying to do just that.  I became very miserable and bitter.


The answers are really easy when you hear God speak.  There was an event that occurred that made us leave our old church.  We don't harbor resentment toward any of them, but it was clear to us that God was calling us in a new direction.  We are very happy in our current church.  Despite everything, I miss those people. They were my church family for over 14 years.  I met nearly all of my friends there.  It's the place I met my husband.  It's the place that every one of my children were dedicated in.  It's the place my son was baptized at.  When it all came down to it and we left, hardly anyone noticed we were gone.  That is sad.


God has called me to something different, though.  At this moment in my life, I am not exactly sure what that is.  Walking away is hard.  Walking away and not looking back is almost impossible for me.   I am a cyber stalker.  It is so easy to check up on those from my past.  It's easy to dwell on what went wrong, why we drifted apart, why God called us to go separate ways.  No matter what happened, the past is the past and I need to leave it there.  I feel like the Israelites as  God led them to the Promise Land.  When they were in the middle of the wilderness and had nothing to trust but God for their provision, how many of them wanted to turn around and go back to the place God had just called them from?  They had a promise straight from God that better things were in store for them, yet they wanted to run back to captivity.  So the question I am trying to answer right now is why do I struggle so hard with wanting to be where I am not wanted?  Why do I struggle to hang onto, and pour into, a relationship that is completely one-sided?  How do I let go and just walk away?


Blessings,

Mom of Many

Preparing for a Busy Week

Today has been a pretty good day.  This morning we got dressed for church, made breakfast and headed out the door.  My awesome husband made a mad dash into Walgreens for Jolly Ranchers.  Bonus Mama told me a few months ago, that if I would keep candy in their mouths  that my children wouldn't be able to talk through service.  God love her; she was right!  We still have the occasional outburst from Little Man, but  that is about it.  Now I know giving them a lot of candy isn't good for them.  I will do it if that's what it takes for the  next year or two to get them to sit through service, though.  I am not usually a candy person, but I can't seem to stay away from the green apple and watermelon Jolly Ranchers right now.  I had the pleasure of having a conversation with a lady at church.  She has such a sweet family.  I'm rather quiet at church and feel like I have to stay with the kids so I don't get around and socialize much.  She sat down beside me and we chatted for a while.  God knew I needed that this morning.  I look forward to getting to know her better.


We took John to work after church and we came home for a while.  I had a wonderful conversation with a dear friend of mine.  We talked for over an hour.  I got off the phone with her and went about my business.  Then, like a ton of bricks, this overwhelming sadness hit me.  A few days ago a friend of mine made a graphic for my Glory Babies.  It is beautiful.  I realized I hadn't uploaded it to facebook so I did.  That lead to me going to youtube and listening to some of the songs in my Glory Babies playlist.  Most days I do fine.  Things this seasons, haven't plagued me too badly.  Today it just hit me.  There's so much that I would be doing with them right now.  It is in these times of grief that my spirit looks up to my Heavenly Father and says "But I will still trust You."  Unless you have had a child die, you can't understand the pain that goes along with it - a pain like none other.  After I got the kids to bed tonight I walked out of the room to do a couple things.  As I left, the song "Finally Home" came on the TV.  This has become one of many of my "Mama" songs.


When we got to church tonight, we found out that a dear family in our church had a car accident.  The wife and daughter were fine, but Dad was taken to the hospital.  Please keep the Greene Family in your prayers.  We know that God is in control and will see Mr. Greene through whatever is going on with him.


Tomorrow is going to be a very busy day.   There are just a few days left in this year.  Our insurance will become effective mid-December, but since nothing life threatening is going on I am saving all of our all of our appointments until January.  I am going to start making appointments tomorrow, though.  There's so many things that I have let slide over the past few years.  Now is the time to get it all taken care of.  I will need to see my PCP (gotta find one) first.  I need to track down my neurology records from my childhood.  I am praying that God will allow me to be able to see the doctor who did my surgery when I was younger.  The last time I talked to them, they said he wasn't accepting patients, then.


Finding a new neurologist scares me.  I was talking with my friend, Amy, this afternoon and this subject came up.  I want to be in the hands of someone who knows what they are doing - no matter what kind of doctor I require.  There is room for exception sometimes.  I don't need a world renowned primary doctor.  I know enough about my health to know when things don't seem right and can seek a second opinion.  Being  a hydrocephalus patient who hasn't been checked out in nearly two decades, there's always the possibility that I may need to have my shunt replaced.  Should that happened, I want the best there is.  I want to know that while I'm laying on the table with someone hacking into my brain that I am not going to wake up paralyzed or  worse because of someone's carelessness.  The second doctor would be my reproductive doctors.  I want someone who knows their stuff.  I am twenty-nine.  My husband and I want a large family.  I want to keep my ovaries and uterus and I want them to work.  I also want to make sure that my doctor is as on-board with helping me get pregnant as I am.  If s/he isn't invested in my care like they should be, then they have no business having my fertility in their hands.  If you think about it tomorrow please say a prayer that God will lead me to all of the right people.  I want to have peace with the choices I make.


Blessings,

Weight Loss Mama

Searching for Home

My family has been looking for a church for a while now.  We are members of a fantastic church, but we've felt that God was calling us in a different direction for a while now.  We've checked out a couple different churches, but none of them felt like home. 



We had a discussion about what we NEEDED (wouldn't compromise) from a church and then there was what we WANTED (would be nice, but not necessary) from a church.  For our family we NEEDED a church that understood and respected our decision to worship as a family.  When I was growing up, we didn't even sit with our friends at church. We stayed together as a family.  I feel like God intended for the family to be together during worship.  It is our responsibility to raise our children in the Lord, so why would I send them off to someone else for them to be taught without me?  Our number one priority was to find a church that understood respected encouraged us to be the ones making these decisions.  I have no problems with children's church for those who choose to use it, but it shouldn't be forced on those who choose to "pew-parent" either!


The church we found absolutely had to preach the Bible on every subject.  Today's pastors seem to preach a water-down, make sure we don't hurt our offering with a little bit of the truth, gospel.  The Bible says you are either cold or hot.  The Bible is very clear about what is wrong and what is right. We needed a church that would tell us the truth even if it didn't feel good or even if it did hurt this week's offering.


During this discussion, I told John that we would know that we were where God wanted us because when we walked in, it would feel like home!  Now, home isn't the place where you go and everyone agrees with you.  It isn't the place you go where everyone is exactly like you.  Just like our family, we knew that there would be disagreements from time to time, feelings would be hurt, and we wouldn't always be told what we wanted to hear.  It would be the place where we go when we needed truth, where we were loved and accepted for who we are as humans and the place that helped us grow stronger.  It is a place where my children (who are tiny humans who don't pay tithes) would be respected as much as the man who stands up on Sunday morning and puts a grand into the offering plate.


Our list of wants could've been extensive, but they really weren't.  Good praise and worship music would be nice, a cry room would be nice, etc. Again, these were just wants, though.  They wouldn't be the deciding factor of whether we chose to stay at a church. 


Last Sunday, I sat down at my computer and was checking my e-mail.  I'm subscribed to Gil and Kelly Bates' blog.  The blog stated that they had started a church.  For those of you who do not know them, they are a precious local family who homeschool.  They have a rather large, conservative family.  I really admire them.  Even though I'd never met them before, they are someone I've looked up to for a long time.  Mama Kelly has all of the attributes I hope to have when I "grow up."  While no one is perfect, she always seems to be able to give a kind answer to anyone.  Not only that, but these parents are homeschooling veterans.  I feel like I could learn so much from them.  I immediately told John what I had found and told him we must check it out.  Saturday night, we called the hotel they are currently holding services at to find out what time service started.  We were never able to get a clear answer, really. 


We ended up showing up super early for church.  We had a lot of time to fellowship with everyone before Sunday School.   Sunday school was great.  It was simple enough so that it spoke to the kids, but was also geared toward the adults.  The Pastor asked questions and Sam actually answered one of them.  After the lesson was over, Kelly (the pastor's wife) came up to Sam and told him how proud she was for knowing the answer and for being brave enough to give it. (Oh she has only begun to discover the bravery of my children's mouths!)  One of their daughters sat in front of our family.  She was so kind to my children.  She asked me if Landon could sit with her.  I told her no because he doesn't tend to behave well enough to sit with anyone else.  She looked at him and made him promise that he would behave so he could sit with her next week.  It just amazed me that someone so young, who doesn't even know my family, was showing love to my children.  I have said it time and time again, the way to my heart is through my children.  Be kind to them and you will make a friend that no one could love you better, but if you hurt them you better pray for God's help because you will see Mama Bear.  Service was much the same way as Sunday School.  Music wasn't typical praise and worship music like we are used too.  It is the country, Baptist church music that I grew up on.  The hearts of those who were leading the music was amazing, though.  The sermon, like the Sunday School message, was on a level where the children could understand it but the adults didn't get lost in the simplicity of it either. The Pastor gave us a homework assignment for the month.  We are supposed to be memorizing Psalm 100.  It has been amazing to see my children working to memorize the scripture.  Liana has even been trying to do it with us.  Today I got a really cute video of her repeating Psalm 100:1. 


John and I have talked a lot since Sunday.  I won't say that we are 100 % sure we will stay, simply because it takes time to truly find that out.  I will say that I got the answer I was looking for, though.  We walked in and immediately felt like we were home.  It is rather intimidating to be around someone I look up to that much.  I often wonder what someone like that would think of me when I am at my rope's end and I yell at my kids, or the fact that my house probably won't be spotless for the next 18 years, the fact that my kids behave less than perfect 99 % of the time, etc.  Even with all of that, I still felt at home.  That was a feeling that I had hoped for, but never truly expected God to give me from anywhere I went.  In my 29 years, I haven't found a whole lot of places that feel like home.  I am still amazed when God decides to show off and bless me like that even when He doesn't have, too.  I am looking forward to seeing what God has in store for our family.


Blessings,

Weight Loss Mama