WORK - To Post After OJT2

 https://youtu.be/3CNqhpRycfY

Every time I tried to make it on my own/ Every  time I tried to stand and start to fall/ And  all those lonely roads that I have travelled on/ There was Jesus/ When the life I built came crashing to the ground/ When  the friends I had were nowhere to be found/ I  couldn't see it then but I can see it now/ There was Jesus/ In  the waiting, in the searching/ In the healing and the hurting/ Like a blessing buried in the broken pieces/ Every minute‚ every moment/ Where  I've been and where I'm going/ Even when I didn't know it or couldn't see it/ There was Jesus

This post will be made on FB on 9/4, but I am writing it on Friday 8/28. "Vaguebooking" will end one way or another one week from today. Hopefully, it will end in what I consider a favorable outcome, but either way, I know that God will be working all things for my good and His glory. Some of you may have figured things out by now. If you have, good for you. I am not good at secret keeping when it comes to my own personal info.

I want to start by thanking a few people. I had an "inner circle" through this. They were the ones who got the constant updates and prayer requests. They listened to me complain, fret and worry, and lifted me up through it all. (I am grateful for you guys) I seriously couldn't have made it through without their love, support, and most importantly prayers! John, Stephanie, Lynn, Cindy, and Alice, you guys were truly the most amazing people. I will never be able to thank you guys enough. I have prayed for each of you daily because that is the most appropriate way I could say "thank you" other than with words. I pray God blesses you abundantly for your love and kindness toward me!

In May of this year, God made it very apparent that some things were going to need to change in the structure of our family - financially. John has held two jobs most of the time since Mom passed away. I had went back to work at Walmart temporarily in 2024, but my body just couldn't physically or emotionally hack it. (It hurts to admit that even now, but it is the truth.) I went through a great depression at this point (this year) because I wasn't sure how to fix this. John and I talked about it and made a list of criteria of things my job would include IF I did go back to work. It would be a work from home job, ideally my hours would line up with John's primary job, etc. My mind is drawing a blank on this right now, although somewhere on my blog I have a copy of "the list" I spent the next few weeks putting in an insane amount of applications. I heard back from very few of them. Most of them were insurance companies, but I wasn't willing to do anything that was commission based. I needed to have a consistent income.

If I remember correctly, I had 3 interviews. The first one accepted me. It was a telemarketing company for political fundraising. I accepted the job because I felt I didn't have any other choice. It met the WFH criteria, but the hours were wrong. I figured it would give me some experience and then I could find another job after I got some experience. The job didn't start for a few weeks so I kept searching for jobs and accepting interviews. I had interview with a company that decided to decline. Then I had the interview with this company. This company started out much like the first company. The first interview was a group interview. There were tech issues. The interviewer ended up missing about 20 minutes of the first interview. I almost left the interview, but I just knew if I left that I would end up regretting it. When she finally came back, she said she was going to schedule a second interview with the next interviewer (This was a good thing...it was the next step in the hiring process).

I am going to detour here for a moment and say that I had been given advice from a couple people that told me to pad my resume. I had only had one job out of the home. I had done some babysitting/nannying. Other than that, I had worked one job 20+ years ago. They told me to put my time as a foster parent, my time as a caregiver for my mom, and my time as a "home manager" on my resume to fill the gaps. I tried to explain these to other companies, but I went into this second interview and told the gentleman, "I have very little experience outside the home. I have had one job outside the home. I have taken care of my family, homeschooled my children. I have experience, but not in the ways most people would count." He went on to ask me why I thought I would do well working from home and how I would stay motivated. I told him that I was an introvert who had homeschooled 5 children. I enjoyed being alone and I was a self-starter. He told me that he was also an introvert. I cannot be sure that my honesty is the reason I got the job. In fact, I felt I was giving him a million reasons NOT to hire me, but nothing else I had done had worked. Less than 5 minutes later he told me he wanted to offer me the position!

July 13th, my life changed in so many ways. I re-entered the workforce. I was so scared. I told John that I wasn't making a public post or telling many people until I completed training. Most of my reasonings were self-preservation. I didn't want to face everyone when I fell flat on my face - which I was totally convinced I would. We were told we would have 6 assessments we would have to pass with an 80% or greater in order to pass training. We also had Knowledges Checks, Quizzes, etc. We have had a LOT of exams. Some I have bombed most I have passed, but as I write this, I have passed all of my assessments. The final assessment is that they will score three calls this week and we will get our last score from the average of those calls.

Today is Friday. Our first day of OJT2, we start taking calls today and will take calls until next Friday. It is scary, although we took calls during OJT1 so we do have some experience with this. It is still scary, but our trainer says he has nothing left to teach us. Assuming we pass this next week, we will be released to the "floor" where we will be full associates. That thought is scary and exciting. We will no longer have the safety nets that we have now of being in training. Now if we mess up, we have little chance of getting in trouble because we are "babies" and there is someone there to catch us. While there is help available after training if we need it, the expectation is higher. We will all do great though.

Next week, we will meet our new coach and get our new schedule. I am hoping mine stays the same or close to it because it is perfect for John's main job schedule. It is only 10 minutes earlier than his with the same days off. If you are seeing THIS post, that means I already have the job/schedule and all worked out. I would be writing a different post if I do not pass training.

Work - Week 6 Completed

 Well, that was a doozy! It had it's ups and downs, but this week kicked my butt. This week's training's focus is on billing. I didn't expect it to be so hard, but it is. I am struggling, but that is ok. It is how we learn. I try to take detailed notes. We are allowed to use our notes and any available resources when taking our exams. Friday night, right before we left, we had a Knowledge Check. These are just for our trainer's information. They do not count against us in any way. Yeah, I failed mine. They give us our score in XX/total number of questions then we average our score that way. I tried to use my resources, but I couldn't find the answers, but I made sure I used the answers from the KC to put in my notes so I would have them for future exams and for future use. 

Unfortunately, this affected my mood Friday. It carried into Saturday. I am still not sure that it isn't helping affecting today. There was lots of tears, cranky moods, feelings of desperation, etc. Tomorrow starts a new week and I am determined that it will get better. We will finish classroom training this week. If all goes according to plan, we will start OJT2 toward the end of the week. 

Work - Week 5 Completed

 Week 5 was different. Instead of in class training, we had on-the-job training (OJT1) this week. This was actually days 3-7. We did two days of OJT the previous week. It went well. There were some crazy moments. There was one day where I had a call that went really badly. By the end of the call everything was fine, but I ended up spending my lunch break in the bathroom crying for about 20 minutes. I was FRUSTRATED and ANGRY. I had remained composed on the call, but once I got on lunch all of those emotions just came out. After I cried, I was fine. Our trainer said we all did well this week. We didn't get an assessment score, though. 

This coming week, we will go back to the classroom where we will start studying the billing side of things. That is overwhelming to me, but I know it will be fine. We have been warned that it will be intense, though. There is not as much hands-on stuff to break it up so we have been told it will seem like it is a lot more than what it is. 

All in all work is going well. I give all praise to God for that. I give thanks to my village who prays for me and encourages me when I need it. They are the best. 

August a1c

 I just got a notification from my patient portal from the company that processes my labs. My a1c was 4.6! It has stayed steady for the last 3 months. It is exactly where it was 3 months ago. It is still in the non-diabetic range. I will take it. My calcium levels are very low, but I will see what he says about that. Otherwise, everything else looks good.

Work - Week 4 Completed

 This was an interesting week. I did pretty well this week. While this week held it's challenges, don't they all, it had some really big highs too. I made a 100% on my assessment! We took this one earlier in the week. We started taking live calls on Thursday, I think. Our first two calls our trainer "sat" with us and listened to our calls and would let us know if there was anything he thought we needed to do during the call. While I was waiting on him to get to me for my turn, I found a message from him from the day we took our assessment that I had missed. He had wanted to recognize me for my grade on the assessment! He wouldn't do it without my permission, though. Even though it didn't end up happening, just knowing that he wanted to give me kudos for a job well done  made me feel great! That was almost as good as the entire class knowing I had aced the exam. 

Taking calls - That was an experience. Each day brought a little more confidence while holding it's own challenges. I can't really share my stories about work, but let's just say the first day brought a frustrating, at the time, story that was filled with confusion. By Day 2 of taking calls, I was ready for this customer to return though, because no matter how frustrating he was, it didn't compare to the frustration of Day 2's frustrating customer. I am still new and in some ways I am struggling. They do not want us telling our customers that we are new because they instills a lack of confidence in them, in us, right off the bat. Well, I was struggling with this customer and trying to seek information/help for her. By the time I got the info the customer needed, the customer refused the info and told me they would be contacting corporate about me. Since I am still in training, I am not super worried about it (which is huge for me because I have anxiety about everything) but it was very frustrating none the less. Not just their reaction, but the whole process. I am hoping, and believing, that as time goes on, it will get easier. Hopefully, I get to stick around that long. All in all, most of my customers were understanding when things took time. My trainer was very understanding when I needed extra help so that was reassuring. 

Week 5 (and beyond)- Thus coming week will be more OJT (on the job training - taking calls) before we go back to the class room for addition training for the rest of the systems we need to learn. After that we will have another week or two of OJT. Then we will be out of training. 

I guess that is the update for this week. I am hoping for a good week this week! 

Work - Week 3 Completed

 Another week has come and gone. Tomorrow starts a new one. I am starting to feel more confidence in what I am doing. There have been times when I text John "I'm not sure whether it was a stupid choice or not on my part, but we just had an exam and I didn't look anything up." Most of the time, that worked to my advantage. I am remembering things, terms, steps, etc. We had one day where we had 6 quizzes, KCs, etc. I passed the first four with 100% accuracy. Then, on the last two, I started second guessing myself and missed one question on both of them. I still passed, but I was really hard on myself because of that. 

This week, we took our 3rd assessment. The assessments are our BIG (will get you fired if you don't pass with 80% or greater) exam that we have at the end of each module. It was my highest score yet. I passed with a 95%!! Of the people that I message/text individually, there are 4, I always hear things like "Great job! I knew you could do it!" I am grateful for those people, because even after getting all of those 100s, I still question my ability to do this job, to pass these exams, whether I am smart enough. I work myself into a frenzy each week, with each exam (especially the assessments). We have 3 hours long to complete these. I usually have some time left after I complete the exam and I set there fretting over whether I will pass it or not. It takes a big toll on my mental health. 

This job is taking a big toll on my mental health as I live in that "perfect" spot nestled between complete trust in God and unabandoned fear! God is bringing me to a place where He is giving me no other choice but to rely fully on Him. Surrender isn't easy for me! Confidence isn't easy for me. I am so afraid if I am confident in my own abilities (even with the aid of God's strength) that I will fall flat on my face. He has never failed me in all of my 43 years. That isn't to say that I haven't failed at some things - far from it. But HE hasn't failed me! That is the difference. I am trying to trust that HIS will is going to be done. 

This past week, I finally picked my Bible study back up. I am going through Angie Smith's Chasing God book. I am learning so much from it. It is actually the opposite of what it says. It teaches us overachievers that "chasing" God isn't necessary. It is more about surrendering to Him. At least, that is what I have gotten from it so far. I am only a few lessons in. I hate that it took me so long to pick it back up, but I also firmly believe I wasn't supposed to be reading it until now. I do not believe I would have understood it the way I do if I tried to continue reading it a few weeks ago. I have also started reading "Healing Your Inner Child" again. This is a book that my therapist recommended. I read a couple chapters when my therapist went on vacation. It is a very heavy, uncomfortable read with a lot to unpack. I just couldn't/wouldn't finish it before now. I promised myself when I picked it back up that I wouldn't make myself read it every day. That I would take it at a pace that would really let it sink in and I would process my emotions as I went. That has helped a lot. I only read a couple chapters this week. That seems like a good pace for me given everything else I have on my plate. As I feel like I can add more, I will, But I still want to take the time to process what I am reading to. It is one of those reads that if you rush through it, you will miss the point. 

Yesterday was date day. It didn't go as well as I had hoped. John is having some health issues right now so our date consisted of lunch, a trip to Walmart and chilling at home. When we got to lunch, I got a headache that would not relent. I dealt with it all day. Finally, around 3 AM, I woke up to a full blown migraine. I took my migraine meds for it, but it didn't go away. I woke up with it. Then, I got the "weird fuzzy headed" feeling. That is always (read: NEVER) fun! Thankfully, it is noon as I write this and it's pretty much gone. 

I guess that is about all for this update. Here's to hoping this coming week will be a good one, too! 

Tylmos - The Next Step In My Osteoporosis Journey

 I had my first injection of Tymlos last night. I woke up this morning no worse for the wear so I guess I am not allergic to it.

I hate taking new medications at night because if you have a reaction to it, you may not wake up to it if it is a major complication. Why yes, I do have pretty major medical anxiety! Why do you ask? Any way, the injection itself wasn't bad. It looks like an insulin PEN with a small screw on needle. No new experience, there. It didn't sting when injected or anything. In fact, I didn't even feel the injection at all. This medication is taken daily. The pharmacist said it can make me sleepy so he recommended I take it at night so that is what I am doing. From what I understand, I will take it about 12-18 months. That is the lifetime maximum I am allowed to have it per the medication recommendations at this point. It is a relatively new medication so that may change before I stop it. For now, those are the rules. So for now, we pray that it does its work during that time!

Can I just say that God has given me the best PCP's office? I knew I had an incredible PCP, but his office staff is equally great! Most of the front office staff is awesome. His nurses are great as well. Most of them know me by sight/voice. There are seven people in my family so they see/talk to me often. Yesterday, when my medication was delivered, I called back to leave a message to thank the girls for all of the work they did to get this medication approved for me. Instead of tying up the nurses' line and then having to be transferred to referrals, I talked to the receptionist and asked her if she would just give them both a message for me. I told her how I appreciated all of the work they had done to get this approved for me. They had worked on this for almost two months, I think. It wasn't just THIS medication. We had to go through a couple meds before we found one my insurance "liked." Not only do they work hard for me and my family, I know they have a lot of other patients and they extend the same care to each one of them. In situations like this, I think about the 10 men Jesus healed in the Bible and only 1 came back to thank Him. I always try to be OUTWARDLY appreciative and give honor where it is due when someone does something to help me. I recognize that this is their JOB, but I want them to know that they are SEEN and APPRECIATED. In the grand scheme of things, it may not make a difference to them...but you never know when it may be just the thing they need to hear that day. Either way, it is something God placed on my heart years ago and I try to live out. It is great to be grateful to God for the blessings, things, people He has placed in our lives, but think about the difference you can make in that person's life if you let them know their act of kindness made a difference in your life. You may make their day. Who knows, in some extreme cases, you may even be the reasons they keep going or even get up the next day. I don't know. My rambling may sound crazy to most. These are just my thoughts. Take them and do with them what you will.