Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of my first conversation with Dad. I remember that like it was yesterday. It took almost two weeks from the time I started looking for him until I finally got a hold of him. That first phone call was so scary. It took 5 more weeks for us to finally meet, but it was the start of it all.
A lot of things have changed over the last year. I am starting to get to know my Dad. I have tried to give Dad the space he needed to process all of this, so things haven't progressed as much as I'd like. I take comfort in knowing that God is in control of this situation and everything will work according to His Glory.
One thing I didn't count on was the relationship that would develop between his wife and me. She was so accepting of my entrance to her world. She has done nothing but show me an example of Christ's love. No one will ever replace my Mama, but I have gladly give this lady the title of my Bonus Mama. I am blessed to have such a wonderful lady in my life.
I have been blessed to do what a lot of people in my position never get to do. No matter what happens, I am thankful that God gave me the opportunity to know these two incredible people. I am a very blessed lady!
Blessings,
Weight Loss Mama
Showing posts with label bonus mama. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bonus mama. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
The Gift
My Precious Daddy
My Sweet Bonus Mama
What is on your wish list for Christmas? When asked this question most people could name an extensive (and expensive) list very quickly! My Christmas list usually consists of things no one can buy me. I want my Mama back. I want to see my Daddy. I want more children. I want to see myself the way God sees me. I'm not asking for much, am I?
Today I received my Christmas present from God early this year. I have been trying to make plans with Dad for the longest time. When I could, he couldn't. When he could, I couldn't. The timing just wasn't right. I have spent many days crying in the arms of my husband because this journey is such a hard one. I am such a passionate person and when I love, I love deeply. I have done my best not to be pushy either. The last seven months have been one wild, emotionally-charged roller coaster. Over the past month I had talked to Dad a couple times. He was going to be on vacation this week so we'd made tentative plans for this week. I called him last night hoping we could plan something. He told me that he'd look at their schedule and asked me to call again this morning. I did just that. We decided to meet for lunch. That gave me an little more than an hour to shower, get dressed, go to the bank, stop at the Christian bookstore (forgot his copy of October Baby) and get to the restaurant. I showed up a few minutes after 11 and thought for sure I was late. I wasn't late. I was actually 20 minutes early. Oops! On the way to meet them I kept praying God would allow us to have a pleasant visit. God granted my wish.
They arrived and we ordered our food. I had two gift bags with me because we hadn't seen each other since May. I had Father's Day, Birthday and Christmas stuff for him and birthday and Christmas presents for Bonus Mama. We talked for the longest time after we finished eating. I couldn't have asked for a better visit. He hugged me twice and we got pictures together. It was everything I could've dreamed of. We said good-bye all too soon, though. After they left, I had a couple of business calls to return so I did that. Then I ran over to Books-A-Million to look around. While I was there, I ran into them again. We discussed books for a little while. I found out that Bonus Mama likes Amish books. She also recommended a couple books for me. I am excited to read them.
Yes, dear friends, my gift came early this year. It didn't come in the form of presents wrapped under the tree. It came after almost three decades of prayer. It came seven months after this journey started. It came dressed in jeans and a button down shirt. The greatest gift I could've received this year was my Daddy. He is worth every minute I have waited. He is worth every second I have spent in prayer. This blessing is worth every tear I have shed and I would do it all again for just one moment with him.
God, thank you for the blessing you have given me in Dad and his wife. No matter what anyone says, every little girl wants the love of her daddy. I am thankful that Bonus Mama has been so understanding through all of this and treats me so well. I love them so much. Please bless them in the coming year for all of the kindness they have shown to me. Please give them good health for whatever time we all have left here on this earth. Give me patience and help our relationship to grow. In Jesus name, Amen.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Granting Grace for Myself
I have finally finished all of my Christmas Shopping!!! The kids will like what I got them. (Believe it or not, Isaiah is the hardest to shop for.) I am really impressed with John's gift! Gift Cards for Dad and Bonus Mama. I hate that I don't know them better. Gift Cards are so impersonal. Shopped for my siblings on Mom's side. Everything is wrapped. My box wasn't big enough to hold everything so the gifts are sitting on the coffee table in the living room. Every day I hear "Mommy, is it "Chrisum" yet?" Not yet, Liana. Soon, it will be.
I have really been struggling with getting into the mood to celebrate this year. I am so thankful for my kids, but getting into the spirit of Christmas has been sooooo difficult this year. I hate that every time Christmas comes I am haunted with memories of years past and visions of what I believe things should look like now. My table is missing Grammie stories, 14 little hands and feet. I am at a low point and I am just ready for this season to be behind me. This isn't at all what God wants for me. It's not what Mama wants for me either.
I have been beating myself up for a month for not sticking to my diet. I have had enough of that mental and physical torture. I am giving myself a 3 week vacation. Whatever goes into my mouth will not make me feel guilty. I won't allow it. This may not be the best way to deal with things, but it is what I have chosen to do.
On a brighter note, I received a couple suprises this weekend. My dear, precious friend Stephanie sent me a Christmas card. She made me cry. ;-) I also received a card from Dad and Bonus Mama. The first ever gift/card from them. I will cherish it. I didn't really expect to get one of them. Dad seems to be the typical man who doesn't think about those things. My thanks goes out to Bonus Mama for remembering me.
I suppose that is all for now. I am not sure I will be blogging for the rest of the year. So just in case I don't "see" you before then - May God bless you with the merriest of Christmases. I hope we all pause to thank God for His Christmas Gift to us. That Gift is no longer a baby in a manger. He grew up, was beaten and died on the Cross for the whole world's sins. Now He lives forever more. May we always remember that Christ is the reason for the season. Please keep the CT shooting victims' families in your prayers. Their tables will be very lonely this year, too.
Blessings,
Weight Loss Mama
I have really been struggling with getting into the mood to celebrate this year. I am so thankful for my kids, but getting into the spirit of Christmas has been sooooo difficult this year. I hate that every time Christmas comes I am haunted with memories of years past and visions of what I believe things should look like now. My table is missing Grammie stories, 14 little hands and feet. I am at a low point and I am just ready for this season to be behind me. This isn't at all what God wants for me. It's not what Mama wants for me either.
I have been beating myself up for a month for not sticking to my diet. I have had enough of that mental and physical torture. I am giving myself a 3 week vacation. Whatever goes into my mouth will not make me feel guilty. I won't allow it. This may not be the best way to deal with things, but it is what I have chosen to do.
On a brighter note, I received a couple suprises this weekend. My dear, precious friend Stephanie sent me a Christmas card. She made me cry. ;-) I also received a card from Dad and Bonus Mama. The first ever gift/card from them. I will cherish it. I didn't really expect to get one of them. Dad seems to be the typical man who doesn't think about those things. My thanks goes out to Bonus Mama for remembering me.
I suppose that is all for now. I am not sure I will be blogging for the rest of the year. So just in case I don't "see" you before then - May God bless you with the merriest of Christmases. I hope we all pause to thank God for His Christmas Gift to us. That Gift is no longer a baby in a manger. He grew up, was beaten and died on the Cross for the whole world's sins. Now He lives forever more. May we always remember that Christ is the reason for the season. Please keep the CT shooting victims' families in your prayers. Their tables will be very lonely this year, too.
Blessings,
Weight Loss Mama
Saturday, September 22, 2012
I Survived His First Week of Training
This week has been full of blessings and challenges. This week has been about survival. I am trying to remember to praise God in each of these things. It's easy to praise Him for the good stuff. It's a bit harder to remember to praise Him when my head is pounding and I look at my princess who now looks like a human version of the Purple People Eater thanks to the Crayola marker she found. Thank God those markers are washable! ;-)
As I lay in the ER last Saturday with my head pounding so hard I thought I would die, I thought about how our lives would change this week. My husband had been working part time only for the last 10 months. Now he'd be going back to almost 60 hour weeks. I worried how the kids would adjust. I worried how I would be able to be everything for everyone while he was gone. Ironic that I couldn't even put my stress aside there! ;-)
The week went pretty well. John drove Monday. Landon had speech therapy on Tuesday so I took him to work. Dueto timing of everything I would have to drive almost all day. John called me on his first break and said he was going to carpool with a fellow classmate who lives about 20 minutes from here. We are in the middle of the two places so it works out great. I take him to the hotel in the mornings and pick him up at the hotel in the evenings. It will save us a ton of gas and a lot of aggravation on my part. Work is going well for John too. I am so happy for him.
The benefits of this company are phenomonal! Insurance won't kick in for 90 days, but it seems like it will be great insurance. We will have fertility coverage too! It isn't a lot, but it is the first job he's had that offered it. It's nice to know that when we are ready to try again, we'll be able to have some financial assistance to cover my treatments. He has a host of other benefits, but this was our biggest concern when applying for jobs.
From a medical standpoint the past couple days have been really weird. My head is still hurting which is nothing new. The pain never goes away. Its intensity varies, but it never goes away. Yesterday, I started feeling weird. I have been kind of "fuzzy headed" and shaky. Naturally, I went through the steps to eliminate the source of the problem. Blood sugar was great. My blood pressure was great. My heart rate was phenomenal! I have no idea what is going on, but I still feel "weird."
Yesterday, I spoke with my bonus mama for a while. Before we got off the phone I had asked her when would be a good time to speak to Dad. He is so super busy that it's very difficult to get a hold of him. If he's not at work, he is either farming or sometimes he's sleeping. She told me to try tonight. John told me to go out and get dinner. I chose Waffle House. After I ate I sat there and read my book (His Love Endures Forever by Beth Wiseman). When I finally looked up from my book it was 8:30. I sat in the parking lot said a prayer and dialed the number. When I spoke with her a couple days ago she wasn't feeling well so I asked if she was feeling better. She is, thank God! I asked her if Dad was there and he was - and was awake!
Dad and I had a great conversation. We talked about a bunch of different stuff. He is into sports and I am not. He's a farmer and I am not. Through all of this I am finding that I am willing to step out of my comfort zone if it brings me closer to him. I cherish those rare times when we do get to talk. I love listening to his voice and it doesn't matter what he says. If Mama's death has taught me anything it would be that life is too short and I need to cherish every moment I have with those I love. I have longed to have my Dad for so long. I have NO IDEA the thoughts that go through his head when he thinks of me or is on the phone with me. The fact that he is willing to give some of his time to talk to me means the world to me. A pretty great way to end my day, if you ask me!
Alright now it is time to see my husband off to work and get some sleep. We have church in the morning and I have 5 kids to get ready by myself. I need all of the energy I can find!
Blessings,
Weight Loss Mama
As I lay in the ER last Saturday with my head pounding so hard I thought I would die, I thought about how our lives would change this week. My husband had been working part time only for the last 10 months. Now he'd be going back to almost 60 hour weeks. I worried how the kids would adjust. I worried how I would be able to be everything for everyone while he was gone. Ironic that I couldn't even put my stress aside there! ;-)
The week went pretty well. John drove Monday. Landon had speech therapy on Tuesday so I took him to work. Dueto timing of everything I would have to drive almost all day. John called me on his first break and said he was going to carpool with a fellow classmate who lives about 20 minutes from here. We are in the middle of the two places so it works out great. I take him to the hotel in the mornings and pick him up at the hotel in the evenings. It will save us a ton of gas and a lot of aggravation on my part. Work is going well for John too. I am so happy for him.
The benefits of this company are phenomonal! Insurance won't kick in for 90 days, but it seems like it will be great insurance. We will have fertility coverage too! It isn't a lot, but it is the first job he's had that offered it. It's nice to know that when we are ready to try again, we'll be able to have some financial assistance to cover my treatments. He has a host of other benefits, but this was our biggest concern when applying for jobs.
From a medical standpoint the past couple days have been really weird. My head is still hurting which is nothing new. The pain never goes away. Its intensity varies, but it never goes away. Yesterday, I started feeling weird. I have been kind of "fuzzy headed" and shaky. Naturally, I went through the steps to eliminate the source of the problem. Blood sugar was great. My blood pressure was great. My heart rate was phenomenal! I have no idea what is going on, but I still feel "weird."
Yesterday, I spoke with my bonus mama for a while. Before we got off the phone I had asked her when would be a good time to speak to Dad. He is so super busy that it's very difficult to get a hold of him. If he's not at work, he is either farming or sometimes he's sleeping. She told me to try tonight. John told me to go out and get dinner. I chose Waffle House. After I ate I sat there and read my book (His Love Endures Forever by Beth Wiseman). When I finally looked up from my book it was 8:30. I sat in the parking lot said a prayer and dialed the number. When I spoke with her a couple days ago she wasn't feeling well so I asked if she was feeling better. She is, thank God! I asked her if Dad was there and he was - and was awake!
Dad and I had a great conversation. We talked about a bunch of different stuff. He is into sports and I am not. He's a farmer and I am not. Through all of this I am finding that I am willing to step out of my comfort zone if it brings me closer to him. I cherish those rare times when we do get to talk. I love listening to his voice and it doesn't matter what he says. If Mama's death has taught me anything it would be that life is too short and I need to cherish every moment I have with those I love. I have longed to have my Dad for so long. I have NO IDEA the thoughts that go through his head when he thinks of me or is on the phone with me. The fact that he is willing to give some of his time to talk to me means the world to me. A pretty great way to end my day, if you ask me!
Alright now it is time to see my husband off to work and get some sleep. We have church in the morning and I have 5 kids to get ready by myself. I need all of the energy I can find!
Blessings,
Weight Loss Mama
Monday, September 3, 2012
This Mama is TIRED!
Another month has come and gone. I bombed most of my goals for last month. I am pretty discouraged right now. I know this is just a low time for me, though. I will get back up and keep going.
This past week was a long, difficult one anyway. Tuesday, Landon had his appointment with the behavioral health nurse where we decided to try medication. He has done FABULOUSLY with the medicine. His dosage is just enough to help him curb his behaviors and not make him spaced out. We have been talking a lot about how good behavior is a choice he must make, though. We met with his pediatrician to get a referral for speech therapy. We left with that referral plus an appt with an ENT for an overall check up and to have an audiology work up.
Just when Mama thought she was going to get to rest, Liana decided that she needed a turn to have one-on-one time with Mama. We had some errands to run. Before we walked out the door I had fixed the little girls' hair. She and Sam were walking down the steps and she slipped. When she did she hit her head on the steps. All she said was "ouch!" There were no tears or anything so I didn't think anything of it. While we were gone they took their hair down so I sat down to brush their hair. I brushed Jewel-Anne's hair first. While I was brushing Liana's DARK hair, I noticed their was something stuck in it. She had just a small amount of dried blood stuck in her hair. Then I noticed the cut. It had been a little while since she fell and the site was still oozing a bit so we headed to the ER. Five hours later we made it out with two staples.
Today, I haven't felt quite right. I have been super tired all day long. I feel like I can barely keep my head up. This afternoon I laid down thinking I would take a nap. Liana wanted to lay with me so I turned on My Little Pony for her. She started to fall asleep so I made her wake up. If she'd napped then she wouldn't have slept tonight. I started to drift off into dream land (John was in another room with the others) so she starts yelling "Get up Mommy! Get up NOW!" Eventually, she decided to go play with everyone else. I napped for about 5 minutes before everyone decided Mama needed to get up.
Today was Mama's only day to rest. Landon has planned the rest of my week for me with a little help from his daddy. Tomorrow is Landon's ENT appointment. Wednesday is his speech therapy evaluation. Thursday, John works second shift. I am sure that Friday will find its own activity. Let's not forget that school has to fit in there too.
John starts his new job two weeks from today. I can't wait until we have insurance again. One of the first things I am going to do is have a full work up. I would love to know if there was a medical reason I feel so drained all the time. I'm not depressed or pregnant. I checked my blood sugar this afternoon to see if that was the reason I was so tired. It was 125 so that isn't it. My blood pressure is great.
On a more positive note - Thanks to the help of my Bonus Mom, I have been able to spend the last couple Sunday evenings watching their church on TV. I have set it up to record each week so I don't miss it. Last week I was blessed to hear one sister sing. This week I got to hear both of them sing. They have a wonderful Pastor. I have really enjoyed hearing his messages.
The whole situation is very bittersweet. I enjoy being a part of their service when I just can't be right now. At the same time, it makes me long for the day when I can join them for church. I also feel slightly guilty. I feel like I am invading their space or spying on them and they have no clue.
So that is my life in a nutshell right now. If anyone has any extra energy they want to send me, I would appreciate it. ;-) Oh, October Baby releases in 8 days! Make sure you stop and pick up your copy!!
Blessings,
Weight Loss Mama
This past week was a long, difficult one anyway. Tuesday, Landon had his appointment with the behavioral health nurse where we decided to try medication. He has done FABULOUSLY with the medicine. His dosage is just enough to help him curb his behaviors and not make him spaced out. We have been talking a lot about how good behavior is a choice he must make, though. We met with his pediatrician to get a referral for speech therapy. We left with that referral plus an appt with an ENT for an overall check up and to have an audiology work up.
Just when Mama thought she was going to get to rest, Liana decided that she needed a turn to have one-on-one time with Mama. We had some errands to run. Before we walked out the door I had fixed the little girls' hair. She and Sam were walking down the steps and she slipped. When she did she hit her head on the steps. All she said was "ouch!" There were no tears or anything so I didn't think anything of it. While we were gone they took their hair down so I sat down to brush their hair. I brushed Jewel-Anne's hair first. While I was brushing Liana's DARK hair, I noticed their was something stuck in it. She had just a small amount of dried blood stuck in her hair. Then I noticed the cut. It had been a little while since she fell and the site was still oozing a bit so we headed to the ER. Five hours later we made it out with two staples.
Today, I haven't felt quite right. I have been super tired all day long. I feel like I can barely keep my head up. This afternoon I laid down thinking I would take a nap. Liana wanted to lay with me so I turned on My Little Pony for her. She started to fall asleep so I made her wake up. If she'd napped then she wouldn't have slept tonight. I started to drift off into dream land (John was in another room with the others) so she starts yelling "Get up Mommy! Get up NOW!" Eventually, she decided to go play with everyone else. I napped for about 5 minutes before everyone decided Mama needed to get up.
Today was Mama's only day to rest. Landon has planned the rest of my week for me with a little help from his daddy. Tomorrow is Landon's ENT appointment. Wednesday is his speech therapy evaluation. Thursday, John works second shift. I am sure that Friday will find its own activity. Let's not forget that school has to fit in there too.
John starts his new job two weeks from today. I can't wait until we have insurance again. One of the first things I am going to do is have a full work up. I would love to know if there was a medical reason I feel so drained all the time. I'm not depressed or pregnant. I checked my blood sugar this afternoon to see if that was the reason I was so tired. It was 125 so that isn't it. My blood pressure is great.
On a more positive note - Thanks to the help of my Bonus Mom, I have been able to spend the last couple Sunday evenings watching their church on TV. I have set it up to record each week so I don't miss it. Last week I was blessed to hear one sister sing. This week I got to hear both of them sing. They have a wonderful Pastor. I have really enjoyed hearing his messages.
The whole situation is very bittersweet. I enjoy being a part of their service when I just can't be right now. At the same time, it makes me long for the day when I can join them for church. I also feel slightly guilty. I feel like I am invading their space or spying on them and they have no clue.
So that is my life in a nutshell right now. If anyone has any extra energy they want to send me, I would appreciate it. ;-) Oh, October Baby releases in 8 days! Make sure you stop and pick up your copy!!
Blessings,
Weight Loss Mama
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Pain in the Midst of Joy
Today is my bonus mother's birthday. I called her this morning to wish her a happy birthday. We had a nice conversation. I hope she has a great birthday. I am so thankful that God has brought her into my life. When Mama died, she left this huge hole in my heart. I felt so lost as a woman, as a daughter and as a Mama myself. No one will ever take Mama's place and B wouldn't try to do that. She has provided comfort to my weary soul, though. In addition to having a friend to talk to she's helped bridge the gap with Dad also.
After I talked to her for a little while, Dad walked in the house. We talked for a few minutes. Both of us had things to do this morning so our phone conversation was cut short. I felt very giddy when I got off the phone. Inside of me still lives the little girl deseperate to win her father's love and affection. The most difficult part of the whole process is that you have two grown adults trying to navigate a relationship that is typically grown when the child is too young to talk back, voice an opinion, etc. The conversation I had with him went really well, but it's so difficult knowing where we should be. I struggle trying to constantly remind myself how blessed I am to have found my Dad. We are just in this weird stage where we are both trying to find our way.
I wish I had grown up knowing my Dad. I wish he would've been there all my life. I wish I could've been there when he'd gotten sick a few years ago. I wish I could be there now. I can't speak for him or how he feels about all of this. I just know I feel very lonely. In the midst of the joy, there is always pain. Pain that longs for the should've, could've and would've of yesterday. I wish I could break free of the chains that hold me. I wish I could have the boldness to say "Dad, I love you. I know this is hard for you. It is hard for me, too. I don't want to make things harder for you, but this is what I need."
I had a really hard day a few weeks ago. I made a list of things that I needed from my Dad. The list is very private and won't be shared here. The fact is that I will probably never share it with him either. I am so afraid of chasing him away that I will probably never be able to open up to him. I would rather play a game of cat and mouse with him than to scare him off for good.
The other day my best friend Stephanie said "Lisa, to know you is to love you." I sure wish I could see what other people see when they look at me. To me, I am just a broken woman trying to figure out this mess that resides between my ears. When I look in the mirror, I see the daughter that was unwanted, a wife who doesn't measure up, a Mom who falls short every day, a friend who isn't supportive enough and a woman who is just so tired of trying to be everything and worry about everyone. I wish for one moment I could see with God's eyes and see what He sees when He looks at me.
Blessings,
Weight Loss Mama - The Broken Edition
After I talked to her for a little while, Dad walked in the house. We talked for a few minutes. Both of us had things to do this morning so our phone conversation was cut short. I felt very giddy when I got off the phone. Inside of me still lives the little girl deseperate to win her father's love and affection. The most difficult part of the whole process is that you have two grown adults trying to navigate a relationship that is typically grown when the child is too young to talk back, voice an opinion, etc. The conversation I had with him went really well, but it's so difficult knowing where we should be. I struggle trying to constantly remind myself how blessed I am to have found my Dad. We are just in this weird stage where we are both trying to find our way.
I wish I had grown up knowing my Dad. I wish he would've been there all my life. I wish I could've been there when he'd gotten sick a few years ago. I wish I could be there now. I can't speak for him or how he feels about all of this. I just know I feel very lonely. In the midst of the joy, there is always pain. Pain that longs for the should've, could've and would've of yesterday. I wish I could break free of the chains that hold me. I wish I could have the boldness to say "Dad, I love you. I know this is hard for you. It is hard for me, too. I don't want to make things harder for you, but this is what I need."
I had a really hard day a few weeks ago. I made a list of things that I needed from my Dad. The list is very private and won't be shared here. The fact is that I will probably never share it with him either. I am so afraid of chasing him away that I will probably never be able to open up to him. I would rather play a game of cat and mouse with him than to scare him off for good.
The other day my best friend Stephanie said "Lisa, to know you is to love you." I sure wish I could see what other people see when they look at me. To me, I am just a broken woman trying to figure out this mess that resides between my ears. When I look in the mirror, I see the daughter that was unwanted, a wife who doesn't measure up, a Mom who falls short every day, a friend who isn't supportive enough and a woman who is just so tired of trying to be everything and worry about everyone. I wish for one moment I could see with God's eyes and see what He sees when He looks at me.
Blessings,
Weight Loss Mama - The Broken Edition
Monday, August 13, 2012
My Circle of Friends
The last post I made, inspired this one. When Mama died, I was so distraught. I was facing life as an orphan. I had no one to teach me all the things a Mama would teach. I remember looking at John and telling him that I didn't have near enough time to learn all I needed to from her. Here I was 25 years old, but the boys had only been with us 9 months. Who was going to teach me all the things I needed to know. Oh the things she was going to miss. I still miss her so much. There are times when I think I won't make it another minute, but God is generous with His healing power.
God has surrounded me with many women who have played a part in helping me get through the days without my Mama. This is my chance to give honor where it is due and to say thanks for being part of my circle. These women lift me up when I am down, laugh when I laugh, cry when I cry, some of them smack me when I need it. God has brought each of them into my life with a unique purpose, but each of them are precious to me. I love them so.
Stephanie is my best friend. She is the one I can go to when I am having a bad day. She lifts me up, lightens my mood and prays for me. I don't think there's anything I could tell her that would make her think badly of me. She's seen me at my worst and my best and has supported me through both. She is also the friend who isn't afraid to hit me over the head with the truth if she needs to either. It doesn't hurt that she has my gorgeous bonus babies either!
Julie has been a great source of strength to me. I have known her for ages, but have never met her. She's always there to listen and offer as much support as she can from the miles that separate us. I am grateful for her friendship.
Then there's my friend Amy. I can go months without speaking to this woman and pick up the phone and it feels like we talk every day. If I need her she's there for me. I love her kids like my own. She's been my homeschool helper. She is the most gentle Mama I have ever met. I have NEVER heard her raise her voice at her children. She is my inspiration to become a better mama.
Eileen is my encourager. She's always there when I need it. We hardly ever see each other face to face, but if I need her she is there. She always tells me those things that Mama would say if she was here. I have know this precious lady most of my life.
Casey is like my little sister. I love her to death. She is such an encouragement to me and I don't think she even knows it. She is so precious to me.
Lynn, sweet and precious Lynn. I have known this woman over a decade now. We've went to church together since the mid 90s. She was just that lady I seen at church. My mama died on a Sunday. I was at church when she died and we didn't find her until we got home. That was one looooonng week. Sunday we went back to church. I found myself reliving every single thing I had done the week before. At the end of service, the Pastor called us all to the altar. As we were being dismissed Lynn walked up to me and put me in one of the tightest Mama hugs. I was a huge mess at this point. I just cried for what seemed like forever. When I looked up at her she said "God told me that you needed a Mama hug." I told her what had happened. She told me that she'd be praying for me. She has honored that statement since. If I need prayer, she's always there willing to pray for me. The world is a better place because of this Godly woman.
Last but not least, there is B - my bonus Mama (also known as Dad's wife). I have blogged about her a lot over the last couple months. She is a true example of Christ's love. I do not know any other woman who would be as gracious as she's been since my arrival in her life. In one of our first conversations she told me "If you're D's daughter then you are mine too." She makes me laugh. She makes me cry. She has weclomed me into her family with open arms and loves me just like my Mama would. She's very sensitive to Mama's position in my life. She's never said a bad word about her. She's a fiesty lady with a huge heart.
Let's not forget the "little women" in my life. My daughters teach me what it means to love and be loved every day. I am blessed to be a part of their lives. I pray I can be half the woman they think I am.
All of these women have been God sent into my life. They are part of my inner circle. Each relationship is different, but each is uniquely special. I love them with all of my heart and will be eternally grateful for them. Thank you to each of you.
Blessings,
Weight Loss Mama
Pediatricians and Sweet Conversations
This morning, two of my children had appointments with the pediatrician. I woke up at 6:30 when I was supposed to be out of the house by 7. Yeah, it was mild chaos in our house for a bit. We got Sam and Isaiah ready to leave. Isaiah had his appointment in May, ,but his triglycerides were elevated. They wanted to recheck him while he was fasting. I was really proud of Sam because he told me he wasn't going to eat breakfast until his little brother could have his, too. As soon as blood was collected they enjoyed a baggie of Fruit Loops. Isaiah's blood work was fantastic as was Sam's. At eight years old, Sam is such a little thing. He is 4'1" and FINALLY made it to 50 pounds!! My kids and I need to switch problems. They can't gain, and I have to work like crazy to get the weight off me.
The highlight of my morning was when the pediatrician walked in the room. There are several in the practice my kids go to. This morning we were seeing my favorite guy. He is a sweet old man who probably has grandchildren who are my age. He walked in and said "Wow, you have lost weight!! Your hair is red now, too!" I said "Yeah, I have 70-some pounds now. The hair is compliments of my hair dresser, though." He said "Well you look great! Keep up the good work!" This man isn't only concerned with my kids, but he's taken the time to get to know ME. He also asks about all of my kids when he sees them. He knows each of them by name, too.
On the way home, I stopped by FedEx to mail a computer to Dell for repair. Isaiah enjoyed finding the censor for the automatic door. He kept jumping on it and laughing like he'd seen clowns in the circus. He was so funny. After I left there I called John to update him on the kid's.
On my way home I called to talk to Dad's wife, B. We had a wonderful conversation. I just love listening to her talk. She touched my heart when she told me she'd been worried about me because I hadn't called in a couple weeks. I still look at myself as a huge inconvenience to this family. They've done nothing to make me feel that way, but I still feel that way. In fact, they have been nothing but kind and welcoming to me. Dad and I are still finding our way. We are all still navigating our way through all of this craziness, but B treats me like I've been a part of their lives forever. She tells me stories about our family, stories when my siblings were kids, stories about when SHE was a kid. She talks to me about Dad. She loves to talk and I love to listen so we get along great.
As far as "step moms" go, I have one of the bests. She will never take the place of my Mama, nor would she try. She's always been very kind when she speaks of Mama. In one of the first REAL conversations we had, I was very apologetic because I was such a disruption to their lives. She said the words I will never forget the rest of my life. "Honey, if you are D(Dad's name) then you are mine too. I have never made a difference between his kids and mine." I hate the term "step mom." I refuse to call her that. I call her my Bonus Mom. I mean no disrespect to my Mama when I call her that either. No one will ever take the place of my Mama, but B deserves more respect than the title of "step mom."
Blessings,
Weight Loss Mama
The highlight of my morning was when the pediatrician walked in the room. There are several in the practice my kids go to. This morning we were seeing my favorite guy. He is a sweet old man who probably has grandchildren who are my age. He walked in and said "Wow, you have lost weight!! Your hair is red now, too!" I said "Yeah, I have 70-some pounds now. The hair is compliments of my hair dresser, though." He said "Well you look great! Keep up the good work!" This man isn't only concerned with my kids, but he's taken the time to get to know ME. He also asks about all of my kids when he sees them. He knows each of them by name, too.
On the way home, I stopped by FedEx to mail a computer to Dell for repair. Isaiah enjoyed finding the censor for the automatic door. He kept jumping on it and laughing like he'd seen clowns in the circus. He was so funny. After I left there I called John to update him on the kid's.
On my way home I called to talk to Dad's wife, B. We had a wonderful conversation. I just love listening to her talk. She touched my heart when she told me she'd been worried about me because I hadn't called in a couple weeks. I still look at myself as a huge inconvenience to this family. They've done nothing to make me feel that way, but I still feel that way. In fact, they have been nothing but kind and welcoming to me. Dad and I are still finding our way. We are all still navigating our way through all of this craziness, but B treats me like I've been a part of their lives forever. She tells me stories about our family, stories when my siblings were kids, stories about when SHE was a kid. She talks to me about Dad. She loves to talk and I love to listen so we get along great.
As far as "step moms" go, I have one of the bests. She will never take the place of my Mama, nor would she try. She's always been very kind when she speaks of Mama. In one of the first REAL conversations we had, I was very apologetic because I was such a disruption to their lives. She said the words I will never forget the rest of my life. "Honey, if you are D(Dad's name) then you are mine too. I have never made a difference between his kids and mine." I hate the term "step mom." I refuse to call her that. I call her my Bonus Mom. I mean no disrespect to my Mama when I call her that either. No one will ever take the place of my Mama, but B deserves more respect than the title of "step mom."
Blessings,
Weight Loss Mama
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