This week has been full of blessings and challenges. This week has been about survival. I am trying to remember to praise God in each of these things. It's easy to praise Him for the good stuff. It's a bit harder to remember to praise Him when my head is pounding and I look at my princess who now looks like a human version of the Purple People Eater thanks to the Crayola marker she found. Thank God those markers are washable! ;-)
As I lay in the ER last Saturday with my head pounding so hard I thought I would die, I thought about how our lives would change this week. My husband had been working part time only for the last 10 months. Now he'd be going back to almost 60 hour weeks. I worried how the kids would adjust. I worried how I would be able to be everything for everyone while he was gone. Ironic that I couldn't even put my stress aside there! ;-)
The week went pretty well. John drove Monday. Landon had speech therapy on Tuesday so I took him to work. Dueto timing of everything I would have to drive almost all day. John called me on his first break and said he was going to carpool with a fellow classmate who lives about 20 minutes from here. We are in the middle of the two places so it works out great. I take him to the hotel in the mornings and pick him up at the hotel in the evenings. It will save us a ton of gas and a lot of aggravation on my part. Work is going well for John too. I am so happy for him.
The benefits of this company are phenomonal! Insurance won't kick in for 90 days, but it seems like it will be great insurance. We will have fertility coverage too! It isn't a lot, but it is the first job he's had that offered it. It's nice to know that when we are ready to try again, we'll be able to have some financial assistance to cover my treatments. He has a host of other benefits, but this was our biggest concern when applying for jobs.
From a medical standpoint the past couple days have been really weird. My head is still hurting which is nothing new. The pain never goes away. Its intensity varies, but it never goes away. Yesterday, I started feeling weird. I have been kind of "fuzzy headed" and shaky. Naturally, I went through the steps to eliminate the source of the problem. Blood sugar was great. My blood pressure was great. My heart rate was phenomenal! I have no idea what is going on, but I still feel "weird."
Yesterday, I spoke with my bonus mama for a while. Before we got off the phone I had asked her when would be a good time to speak to Dad. He is so super busy that it's very difficult to get a hold of him. If he's not at work, he is either farming or sometimes he's sleeping. She told me to try tonight. John told me to go out and get dinner. I chose Waffle House. After I ate I sat there and read my book (His Love Endures Forever by Beth Wiseman). When I finally looked up from my book it was 8:30. I sat in the parking lot said a prayer and dialed the number. When I spoke with her a couple days ago she wasn't feeling well so I asked if she was feeling better. She is, thank God! I asked her if Dad was there and he was - and was awake!
Dad and I had a great conversation. We talked about a bunch of different stuff. He is into sports and I am not. He's a farmer and I am not. Through all of this I am finding that I am willing to step out of my comfort zone if it brings me closer to him. I cherish those rare times when we do get to talk. I love listening to his voice and it doesn't matter what he says. If Mama's death has taught me anything it would be that life is too short and I need to cherish every moment I have with those I love. I have longed to have my Dad for so long. I have NO IDEA the thoughts that go through his head when he thinks of me or is on the phone with me. The fact that he is willing to give some of his time to talk to me means the world to me. A pretty great way to end my day, if you ask me!
Alright now it is time to see my husband off to work and get some sleep. We have church in the morning and I have 5 kids to get ready by myself. I need all of the energy I can find!
Blessings,
Weight Loss Mama
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