Work - Week 5 Completed

 Week 5 was different. Instead of in class training, we had on-the-job training (OJT1) this week. This was actually days 3-7. We did two days of OJT the previous week. It went well. There were some crazy moments. There was one day where I had a call that went really badly. By the end of the call everything was fine, but I ended up spending my lunch break in the bathroom crying for about 20 minutes. I was FRUSTRATED and ANGRY. I had remained composed on the call, but once I got on lunch all of those emotions just came out. After I cried, I was fine. Our trainer said we all did well this week. We didn't get an assessment score, though. 

This coming week, we will go back to the classroom where we will start studying the billing side of things. That is overwhelming to me, but I know it will be fine. We have been warned that it will be intense, though. There is not as much hands-on stuff to break it up so we have been told it will seem like it is a lot more than what it is. 

All in all work is going well. I give all praise to God for that. I give thanks to my village who prays for me and encourages me when I need it. They are the best. 

August a1c

 I just got a notification from my patient portal from the company that processes my labs. My a1c was 4.6! It has stayed steady for the last 3 months. It is exactly where it was 3 months ago. It is still in the non-diabetic range. I will take it. My calcium levels are very low, but I will see what he says about that. Otherwise, everything else looks good.

Work - Week 4 Completed

 This was an interesting week. I did pretty well this week. While this week held it's challenges, don't they all, it had some really big highs too. I made a 100% on my assessment! We took this one earlier in the week. We started taking live calls on Thursday, I think. Our first two calls our trainer "sat" with us and listened to our calls and would let us know if there was anything he thought we needed to do during the call. While I was waiting on him to get to me for my turn, I found a message from him from the day we took our assessment that I had missed. He had wanted to recognize me for my grade on the assessment! He wouldn't do it without my permission, though. Even though it didn't end up happening, just knowing that he wanted to give me kudos for a job well done  made me feel great! That was almost as good as the entire class knowing I had aced the exam. 

Taking calls - That was an experience. Each day brought a little more confidence while holding it's own challenges. I can't really share my stories about work, but let's just say the first day brought a frustrating, at the time, story that was filled with confusion. By Day 2 of taking calls, I was ready for this customer to return though, because no matter how frustrating he was, it didn't compare to the frustration of Day 2's frustrating customer. I am still new and in some ways I am struggling. They do not want us telling our customers that we are new because they instills a lack of confidence in them, in us, right off the bat. Well, I was struggling with this customer and trying to seek information/help for her. By the time I got the info the customer needed, the customer refused the info and told me they would be contacting corporate about me. Since I am still in training, I am not super worried about it (which is huge for me because I have anxiety about everything) but it was very frustrating none the less. Not just their reaction, but the whole process. I am hoping, and believing, that as time goes on, it will get easier. Hopefully, I get to stick around that long. All in all, most of my customers were understanding when things took time. My trainer was very understanding when I needed extra help so that was reassuring. 

Week 5 (and beyond)- Thus coming week will be more OJT (on the job training - taking calls) before we go back to the class room for addition training for the rest of the systems we need to learn. After that we will have another week or two of OJT. Then we will be out of training. 

I guess that is the update for this week. I am hoping for a good week this week! 

Work - Week 3 Completed

 Another week has come and gone. Tomorrow starts a new one. I am starting to feel more confidence in what I am doing. There have been times when I text John "I'm not sure whether it was a stupid choice or not on my part, but we just had an exam and I didn't look anything up." Most of the time, that worked to my advantage. I am remembering things, terms, steps, etc. We had one day where we had 6 quizzes, KCs, etc. I passed the first four with 100% accuracy. Then, on the last two, I started second guessing myself and missed one question on both of them. I still passed, but I was really hard on myself because of that. 

This week, we took our 3rd assessment. The assessments are our BIG (will get you fired if you don't pass with 80% or greater) exam that we have at the end of each module. It was my highest score yet. I passed with a 95%!! Of the people that I message/text individually, there are 4, I always hear things like "Great job! I knew you could do it!" I am grateful for those people, because even after getting all of those 100s, I still question my ability to do this job, to pass these exams, whether I am smart enough. I work myself into a frenzy each week, with each exam (especially the assessments). We have 3 hours long to complete these. I usually have some time left after I complete the exam and I set there fretting over whether I will pass it or not. It takes a big toll on my mental health. 

This job is taking a big toll on my mental health as I live in that "perfect" spot nestled between complete trust in God and unabandoned fear! God is bringing me to a place where He is giving me no other choice but to rely fully on Him. Surrender isn't easy for me! Confidence isn't easy for me. I am so afraid if I am confident in my own abilities (even with the aid of God's strength) that I will fall flat on my face. He has never failed me in all of my 43 years. That isn't to say that I haven't failed at some things - far from it. But HE hasn't failed me! That is the difference. I am trying to trust that HIS will is going to be done. 

This past week, I finally picked my Bible study back up. I am going through Angie Smith's Chasing God book. I am learning so much from it. It is actually the opposite of what it says. It teaches us overachievers that "chasing" God isn't necessary. It is more about surrendering to Him. At least, that is what I have gotten from it so far. I am only a few lessons in. I hate that it took me so long to pick it back up, but I also firmly believe I wasn't supposed to be reading it until now. I do not believe I would have understood it the way I do if I tried to continue reading it a few weeks ago. I have also started reading "Healing Your Inner Child" again. This is a book that my therapist recommended. I read a couple chapters when my therapist went on vacation. It is a very heavy, uncomfortable read with a lot to unpack. I just couldn't/wouldn't finish it before now. I promised myself when I picked it back up that I wouldn't make myself read it every day. That I would take it at a pace that would really let it sink in and I would process my emotions as I went. That has helped a lot. I only read a couple chapters this week. That seems like a good pace for me given everything else I have on my plate. As I feel like I can add more, I will, But I still want to take the time to process what I am reading to. It is one of those reads that if you rush through it, you will miss the point. 

Yesterday was date day. It didn't go as well as I had hoped. John is having some health issues right now so our date consisted of lunch, a trip to Walmart and chilling at home. When we got to lunch, I got a headache that would not relent. I dealt with it all day. Finally, around 3 AM, I woke up to a full blown migraine. I took my migraine meds for it, but it didn't go away. I woke up with it. Then, I got the "weird fuzzy headed" feeling. That is always (read: NEVER) fun! Thankfully, it is noon as I write this and it's pretty much gone. 

I guess that is about all for this update. Here's to hoping this coming week will be a good one, too!