Two Week Post-Op Check-Up

(THIS POST CONTAINS TMI INFO. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)

 So I had my two week post-op check up today. I was dreading it so badly. I have cried. I have yelled. I have been frustrated. I have vented to my husband. And that was all before the appointment. I knew it wasn't going to go well and I was not ready for it...and ready for it to be over with at the same time. Ever been there? Yeah, that is where I was! 

I am an obsessive weigh-er. I weigh daily. I only record my weight here once a week, but I weigh daily. The scale just hasn't been moving in a way that I want it to. When I got home from the hospital I started taking something to prevent constipation per the doctors orders. Yeah, it didn't work. So I took something more (again per doctor's orders) and it helped a bit but I am still struggling in that department. Also prior to surgery I was drinking 140 ounces of WATER a day in addition to any other liquids I had so I was well hydrated. The last two weeks, I was told by my doctor to drink 64 oz and that was to include my protein shakes, juices, etc. Pretty much, since I was on a liquid diet, if it went in my mouth it counted in my 64 ounces. Well, I misunderstood and thought I could ONLY have 64 ounces so that is what I did. 

Fast forward to today...According to the doctor's scale I have lost ONE POUND since surgery. I am disappointed. Even though they didn't say it, they were disappointed. All they said was that hopefully we would see more of an improvement with everything by my next appointment in two weeks. I hope so too because I am really frustrated with myself. I have ate/drank nothing but liquids for the last 2.5 weeks and feel like I have nothing to show for it. 

The only good news that came from today is that I graduated to pureed foods today. Stage Two here I come! 

Post-Op Day 1

 I am not really sure how to count post-op days. Yesterday was surgery day so I am counting today as post-op day 1. Any way...The surgery went well. They were able to complete the surgery all at one time. There was talk prior of saying they may have to do the sleeve part of the surgery then go back and do the switch part. I am thankful that it was all done in one surgery because I do not think that my insurance would cover a second surgery and I am not sure I would want to go through a second surgery. I am in a bit of pain. The pain meds dull the pain but do not completely relieve it, but that is ok. The bad part is my liver is enlarged. The doctor said that he has hopes that it will shrink the longer I am on my new diet. If you are reading this please pray for me. 

Emotionally, I am doing ok, but just ok. Last night, Cindy stayed with me and for the first time I watched My 600-Pound Life. They had a lady on there who'd had The Sleeve procedure previously but she'd gained all of her weight back and then some. I have the resolve that I am going to do this and that I will not go back to my old habits, BUT after spending a lifetime of dieting and failing it scares me to think that this will be another failed attempt. I mean, I know it won't be...but it still scares me. 

So that is my update for now. I will be chilling in between my walks. I have to drink every 15 minutes to prevent dehydration. I am only allowed two ounces per 15 minutes right now. This will continue for two weeks until I return to the doctor. This is Phase One. 

Five Days To Go

I had my Pre-Admission Testing this week. I was dreading it because I didn't know what all was involved. It turned out all it I had to do was have an EKG and bloodwork. No big deal...or so I thought. I have always been a hard stick. They couldn't get a vein and when they did get a vein I wouldn't bleed or wouldn't bleed enough. Hospital policy says that each person could only stick me two times. I saw four people. That's right. They stuck me eight times! I just have really bad veins. Thankfully, that part is past me. After that, I went to my pre-op appointment with my bariatric office. I saw the PA. She was really nice. I left the office with a huge list of new (temporary) prescriptions and pre/post-op instructions. 

Today, I packed my bags for the hospital. Yeah, I know it is almost a week away, but it helps me (and my anxiety) to do things early. Everything is now in the van just waiting for Surgery Morning. I am excited! 

Good-bye Insulin

 As of today, I am no longer an insulin-dependent diabetic! I am so excited!! I am so thankful to God and so proud of myself because of the goals that I have met before surgery! Surgery is only going to take me so much further!

Diet Class

 Before surgery I have a diet class, a pre-op appt at the hospital, and a pre-op appt with my surgeon I have to complete. Wednesday was my diet class. They weighed me. I am officially down 20 lbs since I started my surgery journey in October. The class was pretty informative and at the same time kind of boring. They went over the first phase of recovery and all of the hospital stay stuff. This is going to be a long road, but I knew that. I am ready to get this show started, though. I am excited and nervous still. 

I have started my 800 calorie pre-op diet and because of that, I had to go down to one hour of walking a day. After my first walk of the day I have "jelly legs" and have problems feeling like my legs are - well - jelly. I can't describe it better than that. It lasts all day. Hopefully, I will be able to adjust and pick up my other two walks before surgery but if not then we will see what I decide to do after recovery. 

26 days left!! 

Houston, We Have A Date!!

The last few days I have obsessively watched my insurance's website waiting for the approval for my surgery to come through so I could call my bariatric doctor's office to schedule my surgery. My insurance company acted like I would know before the doctor's office did. Imagine my surprise when my doctor's office called yesterday and left a message for me to call them to schedule my surgery. I called them back immediately and now we have a date...February 26th!!! 

Of course there is a lot of prep to do in the mean time. I have to go on a more restrictive (800 calorie) diet for a month. I have a diet class, pre-op testing at the hospital, a pre-op appointment with my surgeon. It seems like the list is never ending but it will be worth it. I am so excited, but I am a little scared too. Life is about to get very different for me. 

Just Putting This Out There

 For the last several years, I have toyed with the idea of weight loss surgery. In fact, almost sixteen years ago, shortly after my mom passed I attended a seminar for said surgery. I found out that I would need to have the most drastic surgery because of my weight at the time. It scared the life right out of me so I left and didn't go back. It has always been in the back of my mind but I have always been too scared. The last couple months, though, have been different. I have thought about it more seriously. Today, I woke up and had a Come-to-Jesus meeting with my husband about everything and decided to look into everything again. 

I spent the day talking to my insurance company. I found out that they require I have a psychological evaluation as well as 3 months of medically supervised dieting. That is really it from them. I found out that there are two offices that are approved through our insurance and toyed with them all day and finally picked one based on a couple things. I did a web-seminar through them today. Then, I filled out all of my medical history paperwork through them. Now, I am waiting on a phone appointment with a nurse through my insurance company that will happen first thing Monday morning. After that, I just wait for the clinic to call me with an appointment to meet with the surgeon. 

How am I feeling? I am scared out of my wits. This is scary. It is scary to have my body sliced and diced all for a chance that this will work. I am scared this WON'T work. After all, everything else up to this point has failed. Why should this work? I am scared that this WILL work. I have been the fat person my entire life. Well, I am sure there was a point in my childhood when I wasn't fat, but even in my earliest memories I was the fat kid. Who will I be if I am not her? Am I strong enough physically to make it through this journey? Well, I know the answer is no, but in my weakness He will be my strength. Am I emotionally/spiritually strong enough to make it through this journey? Again, I do not know. What I do know is that what I am doing is NOT working and I want to live a life worthy of living. I want to see grandbabies and great grands. I want to travel with my husband. I want to live life well instead of just surviving. Financially, this is scary. The surgery and post surgery journey is not cheap. I am looking at ways to make it more affordable so if you are reading this and have any ideas please let me know. Insurance only pays a portion of the surgery. There are also post surgery fees through the clinic. It's all a lot to take in. It is scary, but the will of God won't lead me where the grace of God can't keep me, right? 

If you have read this far - thank you! My blogs are usually a jumbled mess and this one was no different. Please pray for my next steps if you are the praying type. I appreciate you. Maybe Mama really will lose it one day...Just maybe.

Mama