Goals List

This is a copy of my original goals list.  I am reposting them with where I am now.

This is a list of my misc. goals divided into categories. I completed my first update to my goals list. I added more entries to my fitness goals list because I had completed ALL of them. What an accomplishment!! Here's to marking off more goals next time.

(Current weight: 302 lbs, Total Loss: 58 lbs - March 2012)

Weight Goals

1. MET - Lose 5 lbs (5/2011)
2. MET - Lose 10% of my original weight - 36 lbs (1/2012)
3. MET - Lose 50 lbs (2/2012)
4. Lose 20% of my original weight - 72 lbs
5. Lose 75 lbs
6. Lose 100 lbs
7. Lose 30% of my original weight - 108 lbs
8. Lose 125 lbs. - That will be a whole person!
9. Lose 40% of my original weight - 144 lbs
10. Lose 150 lbs
11. Lose 175 lbs
12. Lose 50% of my original weight - 180 lbs
13. Lose 200 lbs
14. Lose 60% of my original weight - 216 lbs
15. Lose 225 lbs
16. Lose 250 lbs (That's two whole people!)
17. Lose 70% of my original weight - 252 lbs
18. Lose 260 lbs.

Clothing Size Goals

Shirts

1. MET: 3XL shirts (2/2012) 
2. 2XL shirts
3. 1XL shirts
4. Large shirts
5. Medium shirts

Skirts

22/24 pants/skirts
20 pants/skirts
18 pants/skirts
16 pants/skirts
14 pants/skirts

(We will see where this gets me and modify this list from there.)


Health Goals

1. Normal BP
2. Consistent Normal Blood Sugar 
3. Normal Periods
4. Pregnancy


Fitness goals

1. Be able to walk without getting blisters on my feet (1/2012)
2. Be able to walk 2 miles without feeling like I'm dying. (2/2012)
3. Be able to walk 2.5 MPH - 2.4 most of my walk now (1/2012)
4. Be able to walk 2.5 miles (3/2012)
5. Be able to walk 3 miles in an hour or less (3/2012) 
6. Be able to walk 4 miles.
7. Be able to complete my workout at no less than 3 MPH except for cool down.
8. Be able to complete my workout at no less than 3.5 MPH except for cool down.
9. Be able to complete my workout at no less than 4 MPH except for cool down.
10. Be able to RUN a half mile.
11. Be able to RUN a mile.
12. Be able to RUN 2 miles.
13. Be able to RUN 3 miles.
14. Be able to RUN 4 miles.
15. Be able to RUN 5 miles.
16. Complete a Diabetes support race.


Misc. Goals

1. MET - Be able to wear seatbelt in vehicle. (3/2012) 
2. Sit in vehicle without my stomach touching the steering wheel
3. Be able to ride bumper boats again
4. Be able to hug my husband without leaning forward. ;-)


(Created: 1/5/12)
(Last Update: 3/23/12)

December Tattle (Er...I Mean Weigh-In)

Date: December 2, 2012

Weight: 296.6 (done at home)

Blood Pressure:127/66

Resting Heart Rate (See below for instructions): 88

Circumference Measurements

Neck: 16.75 inches
 

Waist: 59 inches

Hips: 64 inches 

Thigh: 54 inches

Chest: 51 inches

Alright now there's the seriousness of it all. Measurements don't lie. I decided to get lazy and my measurements prove it. Here we go again. This time for real!!

Month 7 - July Photos

July 2012 Photos


Down 76 lbs now.  It feels really good.  Excuse the expressions.  I am tired.

Sermons and Crazy Underwear Stories

For the first time in MONTHS, my family and I went to church AND I stayed through the entire sermon!!!  WSie left about 5 minutes early, but we made it!  I haven't heard a pastor preach a sermon since I went to church with my friend Stephanie a few months ago.  It was a very nice treat.  The day over all has been pretty good, too.


This weekend we went laundry crazy.  I hate doing laundry so I put it off until I can no longer put it off.  John took over the chore, but he doesn't do it the way I like.  So this weekend we sat down and we have washed about 8 loads.  It feels like we have a million more to go, but we'll get there...Maybe...LOL


Somehow Mama's clothes keep showing up in my laundry, though.  I think her clothes have been washed about 50 times since she died 4 years ago.  Even though I pack it all away, it still keeps reappearing.  So this morning I was getting dressed for church and as I was putting on my underwear, I noticed they were tight.  What was going on here? I knew I hadn't gained THAT much weight.  I looked at the size and they were a pair of Mom's size 10!!!  I am completely weirded out about other people's underwear, but these looked brand new.  I think I had washed them so they would be put back in her stuff...Anyway, now I can be the crazy underwear lady.


So now that you know my crazy little secret, let's focus on what I just said....MY behind is covered in size 10 fabric.  Yesterday was our "dating anniversary."  We have been together for 10 years.  I haven't worn size 10 since we've been together.  I am so used to buying the same sizes I always have and hiding in "clothing tents" that it really amazes me when I see smaller sizes. 


This mama is tired and my DVR has tonight's Army Wives waiting on me so I must go for now.  May God surround you with His love always!


Blessings


Weight Loss Mama

July Weigh-In

Yesterday I went to clinic to get my prescription and weigh in. Please keep in mind that my last weigh in was only 3 weeks ago, so not quite a full month. The clinic weighed me something different and because of that I have decided to only track what I weigh when I weigh at the gym. Clinic keeps changing their scales on me so I cannot get an accurate weight. I have done super well for the last 3 weeks. I am very proud of myself.

Date: July 13, 2012

Weight: 290

Resting Heart Rate (See below for instructions): 84

Circumference Measurements (See below for instructions):

Neck: 16.5 inch (Same)

Waist: 56.25 inch  ( - 1.25 inch)

Hips: 61 inch  ( - 2.5 inch)

Thigh: 49 inch  ( - .5 inch)

Chest: 50 inch  (Same)

Blessings,


Weigh Loss Mama

June's Weigh-In

So even though I won't have an official clinic report until next month, I measured and weighed  myself so I could post this month's progress report.  I have officially met my goal of 20% weight loss!

Date: June 25, 2012

Weight: 288

Resting Heart Rate (See below for instructions): 84

Circumference Measurements (See below for instructions):

Neck: 16.5 inch

Waist: 57.5 inch

Hips: 63.5 inch

Thigh: 49.5 inch

Chest: 50 inch

 

 

 

Update from the Doctor

Yesterday was an interesting day.  It was a great day, though.  We had a doctor's appt for me, I needed to get my ring from the Jeweler's and some of the kids had dental appts. My day started out feeding the kids breakfast.  Normally, John does this.  Because we had so many appts, I needed to have everyone ready to walk out the door when he got home, though.  I gave them bagels and cream cheese for breakfast so I could get in the shower.  They enjoyed breakfast, but I discovered that I had left my gym bag in the van.  Since I started going to the gym, I have been living out of my gym bag.  I got tired of never having what I needed anywhere so it all stays in there now.  It was at this point that I started to panic.  Life is crazy right now.  It takes us 30 minutes to leave the house to go anywhere and my first appt was at 11.  John got home and I got showered.  We made it to our first appt on time.


The first appt was with my new doctor.  I got there an hour early because my appt was scheduled later than I originally thought.  I knew I was going to need bloodwork so I skipped breakfast.  By 11:30, I was feeling really shaky.  I asked the receptionist how long it would be before I was called back and she said she'd check.  They ended up taking me ahead of a couple people.  I felt really bad for that because I know their time is important too.  They checked my weight, my blood pressure and went over my medical history.  The doctor came in and was super sweet.  He has a great personality and I love him to death.  We talked about my "tunnel hearing" and a couple other things.  He ordered labs, had his nurse clean my ears, gave me my prescription and was gone.  The nurse cleaned out my ears and I can hear again.  That is amazing.  The lab tech was even able to get my blood drawn with the first stick!


John called the Jewelers while I was in the doctor's office.  My ring hadn't come in.  I was so disappointed because I knew I wouldn't have time to get the ring until the next day now.  We went to get my lunch aftter we left the doctor's office. While I was eating the Jeweler called to say my ring was in.  I have been without a wedding ring for a couple months now.  This may not seem like a big deal to some people, but my rings mean a lot to me.  I put them back on for our family photos a couple weeks ago and the rings drove me crazy because they were so loose.


Our next stop was the dentist.  The kids were seeing a new dentist today.  Sam, Jewel-Anne and Isaiah had appts today  because they refused to schedule everyone at one time.  When we arrived I told John I was going to go in and fill out their paper work and would come out and get the kids when it was closer to their appt time.  I got in there and no one was at the reception desk.  I FINALLY got someone to help me a few minutes later.  I should've just walked out at that point.  Let me stop here and say, when I called to make the appointments, I was on the phone for over 30 minutes with the receptionist and I gave her all the information she needed and spelled the kids' names at least 3 times.  The paper work they gave me was print outs of what they had entered into the computer.  I sat down to fill out the paper work.  I have never seen such such a mess in my life.  Liana's name was spelled wrong.  Our address was wrong.  The kicker was when they listed SAMUEL, MY SEVEN YEAR OLD, as the responsible party for these children.  I walked back up to the receptionist and had to wait forever again.  I told the lady the errors that were made and asked for blank copies of their new patient paperwork.  You would've thought I had just asked her to hand over her first born.  She told me to just mark through the stuff that was incorrect.  If I did that there would've been no room to write anything because the only thing that wasn't wrong on these sheets were their last names!!!  I commented about them listing my minor son as the person financially responsible for the kids and she told me they did that so they could keep the accounts together.  At that point Mama had enough and said some things I shouldn't have.  I told her that they could've linked the accounts together just as easily if they had listed me or my husband the way I told them to when they asked who was financially responsble on the phone. I turned to sit down and then told the nurse I wanted to cancel the appointments because this was ridiculous.  I know people deserve grace, but when there are that many mistakes made on forms and no one is willing to do anything to correct them it's unacceptable.  What else will they be negligent about?  I walked out and was venting to John about everything that happened when the office manager walked out with the kids' insurance cards. 


This lady looked at me and started verbally attacking me.  She asked me what I thought was so ridiculous about their office staff and I told her I had already expressed my concerns to the receptionist who was unwilling to help me and I would just take my kids somewhere else.  She stood there in the parking lot and started yelling at me about how I had scheduled appts that weren't going to be kept now. I could see the vein in my husband's neck start to pop out and knew it was time to leave before we decided he'd had enough.  All of this over the fact that they wouldn't give me blank paper work to fill out since they'd made so many mistakes.  We left and I made an appt with another dentist for all 5 kids at one time!


I drove to the mall and got my ring.  I love it! It is gorgeous.  It was a "promise ring" but it makes a perfect temporary ring.  The band forms two little hearts and each hearts have a small diamond in it.  I asked for a box so John could put it on me.  He placed it on my finger and all was right in my world again. 


On our way home we stopped to get my medicine.  Then we headed home for me to get ready for my Mom's Night Out with Stephanie!  It had been forever since I had been able to go out with her.  We had a great time as we talked about everything going on in each other's lives.  We looked at pictures from me when I was younger.  It was the perfect ending to my crazy day. 


I guess I should end this blog with the good news.  Last month I had gained when I went into the clinic.  Yesterday at the doctor I weighed 294!!!  I lost 5 lbs in 3 weeks!!!  I was  very excited about that. 

For He satisfies the longing soul, and fills the hungry soul with goodness. - Psalm 107:9 (NKJV)


Blessing,


Weight Loss Mama

"The List" Grows as I Shrink

My list...


I saw a post on a friend's blog. She got the idea from one of her friends, and I loved it! For every pound lost, give a reason to have lost that pound! Here is my list so far.


1. To live to raise my kids, not just live but be able to have a full life.
2. To be able to get pregnant without fertility drugs, without miscarriage, and without risking my life to do so.
3. To be able to play with my kids without getting out of breath.
4. Sit comfortably without pinching the nerve in my hip.
5. Walk through the pew at church without having to side step
6. Walk a mile without feeling like I'm dying.
7. I want to see my great grandchildren.
8. I want to be proud of myself.
9. I want to believe my husband when he tells me I'm gorgeous and not just believe he's saying because he feels he has to.
10. Not have my legs touch in the middle
11. To walk in a room without feeling everyone is talking about me.
12. To be able to dress up when I go out on a date with my husband.
13. To not die at the age of 61 like my mama did.
14. To avoid all the health problems my mama had.
15. To be a good role model for my children, especially my girls.
16. To get the new wardrobe my sister promised me 20 years ago if I would lose weight. She told me the other day that she still intends to make good on her promise when I lose everything I need too. (220 lbs to go).
17. To be able to use to Wii Fit. My starting weight exceeded the limit.
18. To be able to hug my husband without leaning forward.
19. To be able to be carried over the threshold for my 10th anniversary.
20. To make my mama proud of me.
21. To be able to shop and not pay extra for my clothes.
22. To have ENERGY.
23. To be able to stand and see my legs.
24. To be able to stand and see my toes!
25. To be able to carry my 7 year old without having back pain for the next day.
26. To rid myself of sleep apnea.
27. To learn how to make healthy eating choices.
28. To feel like said healthy eating isn't a punishment.
29. To no longer make excuses for my eating behavior. (working on that one now.)
30. To not get depressed when I food journal.
31. To have a normal BP.
32. To live without diabetes.
33. To go to the doctor without being lectured about losing weight.
34. To go to the beach without feeling like a freak in a bathing suit.
35. To be able to ride an airplane for the first time without needing 2 seats.
36. To be able to reach others and encourage them through their journey as well. If I can do it, ANYONE can.
37. To be able to jump.
38. To run for the first time ever.
39. To be able to fit into jeans again.
40. To be small enough to have a body fat assessment. (Not that I really want/need to know, but I'm currently over the limit for the test. 02/2012)
41. To be able to have a professional massage. (Right now when I lay on my stomach I feel like I'm going to die)
42. To ride bumper boats again.
43. To be able to weigh my toddlers on WiiFit. (Tried to do this the other day and our combined weight was too much!)
44. To no longer be the fat girl.
45. To have a lap again. (Currently my kids sit on my belly)
46. To be able to carry two of my children at one time.
47. To carry my children without my back hurting.
48. To stand through praise and worship without my back hurting.
49. To be able to make two meals out of ONE restaurant meal and still feel full.
50. To be more outgoing.
51. To walk instead of waddle.
52. When I die, I want to be able to have a normal coffin and not need 12 men to carry it.
53. To be able to try new things with my husband.
54. To be able to shop at normal clothing stores again.
55. To enjoy outdoor activities.
56. To meet my dad.
57. To out-live my dad.
58. To be able to go to the spa without breaking the table. ;-)
59. To make my dad proud of me.
60. To not be the biggest of all 8 of my siblings.
61. To wear a size 8 wedding band!

(To be Cont.)

This journey is changing me so much. Right now I am struggling to stay positive, but I will not give up. There's no going back. I look forward to updating this list again soon!

Blessings,

Weight Loss Mama

Twists and Turns

Side note: I am doing my best to protect the privacy of my new family while remaining true to honest blogging.  I don't want to use their names here to respect their privacy.


My life has taken interesting twists and turns lately.  What I am finding interesting is how I am dealing with it all.  Usually when anything really emotional happens in my life I turn to food.  It's something I still struggle with.  Right now though, during one of the most emotional times of my life, that is far from the truth.  The other night we went out for Japanese.  Where I would normally eat everything on my plate, I ended up having about half of it left.  Yesterday, while we were at the mall I had a pretzel and a half.  For dinner I had a salad and a half piece of fish.  While I am enjoying this new turn of events, I know I did not getting enough calories yesterday.  My appetite is just gone.  I got a very interesting surprise this week.  Monday while we were at the mall John bought me a temporary wedding ring to wear until I can get my old ones sized.  I haven't had a ring on my finger since the day they fell off in the shower.  I went into Kay's Jewelers and looked at rings.  When I found one we had my finger sized.  In 2003, when we bought my wedding set, my rings were sized at 11.  Last year my fingers would get so swollen that I couldn't get them off.  When she asked me what size I needed I told her that I would probably wear a 10.  She looked at me like I had 4 heads and said there was no way.  When all was said and done I left the store with the biggest smile on my face.  I now wear a size 8.5. I could almost fit in the 8 but I wanted to make sure I didn't get it too tight. Score!!! I have never worn a size that small.


I have been struggling with fear so much lately.  As I sat waiting for Dad to show up on Sunday, so many things went through my mind.  Here I was, minutes from changing my life forever, and all I could think about was turning around and running in the opposite direction.  Obviously, I stayed and it was wonderful.  None of the things I had worried about had come true.  Yesterday, I faced another fear.  One of my sister's had given me her phone number and the number for our other sister.  I went to Wal-mart to get outfits for our pictures.  I had decided I was going to call Dad and my sisters when I came out.  I changed my mind about calling Dad.  I want to make sure I give him enough time to process things.  I called the sister I hadn't spoken with first.  She didn't answer so I left a message telling her who I was and that I just wanted to take a moment to talk and introduce myself. 


Then I called the other sister.  This is the sister I met Sunday.  I wanted to make sure that she didn't mistake my quietness for rudeness.  She assured me that she didn't feel that way at all.  I shared my heart about some of the emotions and fears I had before I contacted Dad.  My intentions were never to hurt anyone.  I had been so afraid that would happen.  I was never niave enough to believe that I would have a prodigal experience.  I knew there would be emotions that everyone would have to deal with.  Once I got past the fears of how Dad would react, my next concern was that of my new siblings.  This was almost enough to keep me from contacting him at all.  Sis agreed with me that we all had things to process, but then she reminded me of something Dad had said about all of it and it made me feel so much better. 


I was never sure what to expect when I met everyone.  I can tell you, this wasn't at all what I expected.  I have never met a group of people who have shown the love of Christ more than these people have.  There are so many reasons why they could've, should've, would've turned me away.  There are so many reasons that hurt and anger could've reigned over this situation.  They haven't shown me ANYTHING except grace.  Dad was honest with me and said he wasn't sure how to do this, but neither I am.  He had every right to be angry with me for turning his life upside down, but he didn't.  His wife and my siblings could've done the same thing, but they have been so kind.  I can tell you this would've turned out far differently if they weren't Christians. 


As parents, we spend our lives praying that we've done right by our kids.  As Christian parents, we do our best and pray that it is enough.  Dad has every reason to be proud of the job he has done with his oldest children.  They speak more of HIS CHARACTER than any words ever could.  If I can raise my children as well as my parents raised their kids then I will do a fantastic job.

May's Progress Report

It seems weird to be doing this post so early in the month, but I always do it after I go to clinic.  This has NOT been a good month for me.  I was sick, sick, sick.  Then found out we were pregnant and lost Chloe. I bled like I was dying for a week and before that I'd been spotting for another week. I haven't been able to get to the gym like I wanted to. And I could sit here and list a million other excuses.  The truth of the matter is that I failed this month.  I actually gained a pound instead of losing.  The nurse at the clinic acted like it was no big deal.  She said it could've been water weight. 

While I am disappointed, I won't let it stop me from pressing forward.  In addition to my meds and shots, I am now taking T-3. I am hoping this makes a big difference.  I am back at the gym, also.  I am doing my best to go every day between now and the time we leave for vacation.  I am praying that really pays off for me.  Because of vacation, I won't be weighing in for 6 weeks instead of the usual 4. I am hoping to bring in really good numbers next time.  Anyway, here is my progress chart for month 5.

Date: May 16, 2012
Weight: 299 (+1 pound)
Resting Heart Rate (See below for instructions): 80
Circumference Measurements (See below for instructions):
Neck: 17 inches
Waist: 60 inches
Hips: 61 inches
Thigh: 49.5 inces
Chest: 51 inches


Blessings,

Weight Loss Mama

Month 4 Review

As I write this month 4 has come to a close.   We are beginning month 5 now.  I didn't do so well with my goals for this month, but honestly it has been for lack of desire on my part.  Life has been very rough this month.  Getting to the gym has been difficult.  I know I can walk around the neighborhood, but it doesn't hold the same appeal as the gym.  With the gym I am rewarded with hot tub time and a nice long shower after I slay The Beast! Now for the accountability part. Let's look at what I completed vs. what I didn't.

APRIL FITNESS CHALLENGES

NUTRITION CHALLENGES

1. COMPLETED -  I will eat more fruit.  (I have eaten more fruit this month. Most days I try to have at least two servings of fruit!)
2. I will start food journaling (again). (I dabbled a little with my journaling, but didn't do it every day.)
3. COMPLETED - I will drink more water. (I drank more water, but still need to increase my intake.)
4. I will try at least one new diet friendly recipe this month.
5. I will work on decreasing my sodium intake.


FITNESS CHALLENGES

1. I will work out 2520 minutes this month. (This goal is only realistic if I can get to the gym like I need to.)
2. I will burn 25,000 calories this month. (Didn't chart this month, but I didn't make my goal)
3. I will go to the gym at least 21 days this month. (fail)
4. I will do weekly body tests on Wii Fit. (My children have relocated (READ: LOST) my WiiFit disc so I can't use it.)
5. I will try out the sauna at the gym. (I haven't completed this one yet. Maybe month will be the sauna month!)


SPIRITUAL / EMOTIONAL CHALLENGES

1. I will finish Genesis and Exodus. I will also read through Leviticus and Numbers. (I completed Genesis, Exodus and Leviticus. I will complete Numbers in month 5)
2. I will finish "What If Your Blessings Come Through Raindrops" Devotional by Laura Story.
3. I will pray more. (I will continue working to increase my prayer life)
4. COMPLETED - I will take one day/night each week for me to regroup and relax.5. I will blog daily.

I hit a rough spot this month and had to dig myself out of it. I am ready to go again. Next month will be better.

Blessings,

Weight Loss Mama

What A Difference A Year Makes

April 2011 was my heaviest recorded weight mark at 360 lbs. My diabetes was completely out of control even in September 2011 with my levels running well into the mid to upper 300s most of the time. My A1C level was 12.5-13.0. I was sad, depressed and hopeless. In the midst of my adoption with the youngest two, I was discussing my wishes for my kids when I was gone. I was at such a low point and it just seemed to keep getting worse. I felt like I was too far gone and the more I thought about it the worse I felt.

I am about to complete month 4 of my weight loss journey and I am completely amazed what 4 months will do. February I did my first A1C in years. It was 6.0. I couldnt believe it. The home tests come in packs of two so I did the second test tonight. It's only been 2 months (thought it had been 3) and my levels have dropped again.

I got everything out of the box and sat there for a good two minutes before I could bring myself to poke my finger. I still have horrible needle-phobia. I finally poked my finger and collected the blood, put the sample in the container and shook it for 5 seconds. Then I placed the test disk into the machine. I waited until it told me it was ready for the sample. I placed the sample on the disk and waited...it seemed like it took forever to give me the results. Once they showed I just sat there and stared at them. I know I am working hard and making changes to my lifestyle, but to see results still leaves me scratching my head saying "how'd that happen? SURELY, that's not what I seen!" Ten minutes later I placed everything in the box to throw away.....

Mini Progress Report

WEIGHT

April 2011 - 360
December 2012 - 326
January 2012 - 315
February 2012 - 308
March 2012 - 302
April 2012 - 298


DIABETES / A1C LEVELS

September 2011 - 12.5 - 13.0 (basing this on my blood sugar levels) / average level in upper 300s
February 2012 - 6.0 / average level being 120 ish
April 2012 - 5.3 / average level 92ish


I am still in awe of what happens when you decide to make changes. I praise God for those who have helped me along the way. This isn't the end, or even the middle point, but I am very impressed. I can see body changes without even trying to find them now. I look slimmer. My "rolls" are more like mini-rolls now. ;-) I will post April pics soon.

Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. - Jeremiah 29:12-13 NKJV

Blessings,

Weight Loss Mama

April Measurements

Date: April 18, 2012
Weight: 298
Resting Heart Rate (See below for instructions): 88
Circumference Measurements (See below for instructions):
Waist: 61.5
Hips: 64
Thigh: 50.75
Chest: 52

Since I've continued to lose weight, and all of my measurements have went UP, I am going to assume that I measured wrong last time. I didn't think I would do nearly as well as I did this month. I know it's only 4 lbs, but I broke the 300 mark!!!! This journey is going slower than I would like it to, but it's moving so for that I am thankful.

Three Months, Three Miles

So today, I think I slayed The Beast! Ok, not really, but it was crying when I left it to nurse it's wounds. ;-) Yes that is right! It took me 3 months, but I not only got on The Beast, but I did 3.25 miles in an hour. I never thought I would be doing things like this.


Can I just say that I like the scales at the gym much better than the ones at the clinic? Of course I am only tracking the clinic results, but the gym scales weighed me in at 295 today. Two different times. Yes I was the crazy fat lady who couldn't believe what the scales said so I kept getting back on it just to make sure I was seeing the right numbers!!!


After having lunch and going to the gym, I was blessed with an evening at the movies to see Ken Davis' film "Fully Alive." Mr. Davis and The Jeub Family blessed me with tickets to see this video. I was very impressed. It is totally right up the alley of my life now. While there were moments in the film that made me cry, a lot of it was about his struggle with deciding to live. He became very overweight and he talks a lot about his journey back to living. I highly recommend this movie to everyone.

All in all it's been a great day. I am so thankful that this day of sorrow turned into one of great blessings for me.

Thank You God for giving me the blessing of my Aunt Flossie. Thank You for her life and her love. Thank You for her willingness to pour into my heart. Thank You for being kind and loving toward her at a time when I was certain that You were sending me into Job's house by allowing me to lose so many people I loved (and some not so much) in such a short amount of time. Thank You for giving me the gift of joy on a day filled with such sadness. Let my life be a blessing to You. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Month 3 Weigh-In

Here are the results for Month 3. Not as good as I hoped. I really wanted to hit the 200s, but I will hit it before the end of March I am sure. Pictures will come as soon as I find the power cord for my camera. My BP was up from last month, but still normal. It has been a rough week.

Date: March 21, 2012
Weight: 302 (58lbs total loss)
Resting Heart Rate (See below for instructions): 80
Circumference Measurements (See below for instructions):
Waist: 60.5 inch
Hips: 63.5 inch
Thigh: 50 inch
Chest: 53.5 inch

My Rings Are Gone

I am at that stage where life is seeming very weird right now. My life is
changing for the better. While I know these are good things, my heart mourns the
loss of what was. I have always been the "fat kid." It is the only thing I know.

My weight still isn't coming off as fast as I would like, but my body is
changing. My skirts are slowly inching their way up my chest making me look like
a cross between an old lady and a hooker. I am constantly having to pull my
skirts back down to my waist. (This next part only fellow fatties will
understand...for those skinny people just follow along.) You know how you have
a top belly and a bottom belly? Well my top belly is starting to disappear. Now
the waist line of my skirts have nothing to hold them in place. The only truly
bad thing about this is that I'm sort of in between sizes right now so I just
have to find a way to deal with it.

The saddest part of my week was this afternoon when I gave my wedding rings
to my husband. I knew this day was coming, but I feel like a part of me is
missing. I held onto them as long as I could, but they were so loose they came
off in the shower at the gym. They were trying to slip off while on the
treadmill, too. For now we are going to try to find a ring to replace it. John
and I started our marriage out with very little money so I have a very cheap
(but very LOVED) set with crosses on them that we bought from Walmart right
after he asked me to marry him. My entire set was less than $80, but that
doesn't matter. I cherish them so. My hand feels naked. I feel like a part of me
is missing.

This post has been brewing for a few days, but it finally came to
be because of my rings. I know they are just rings...my love for John (and his
for me) is still there. These were just an outward symbol, but I have worn those
rings for almost 9 years. These changes are all a part the journey to a
healthier me, but so much is changing all at once. It is such a bitter sweet
milestone.


This is the day which the LORD hath made ; we will rejoice
and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

Be Blessed,

Weight Loss Mama

February Photographic Progress

Here is February's Photo Update.

Total Loss: 52 lbs

Weigh In Days

Today was the magic weigh in day. I certainly didn't get the numbers that I was hoping for, but I did lose some. I am down 7 more pounds bringing my total weight loss to 52 lbs. I hit another milestone. I am now at the 50 lb weight loss mark! Yay me!

I have failed miserably at the goals I set before me this month. I won't meet my fitness challenge, but will be starting a new month soon. I am determined to do better next month. I am going to take a couple days to see what I'm willing to commit to and then make my goals list for next month. This month has been very hard. I keep trying to find ways to get me back to where I want to be, but I am not there yet. I will get there though.

Before I leave tonight I would like to ask you to say a special prayer for a family member. I have been asked not to share details, but God knows the need. Thank you so much.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11

Blessings,

Weight Loss Mama

Trials and Triumphs

Trials and Triumphs

The past month I have been dealing with a lot of stuff. From Jeremiah's death to some other personal stuff going on. I have lost weight like I wanted to. I go back to clinic and I'm hovering around 2-5 pounds depending on the day. A loss is still a loss, but I know I can do better. I had so many goals for this month and I've failed miserably. Still, today is a new day. I will not live in yesterday, but will focus on today because TODAY is what I can change.


I have diabetes. It took me years to admit that. It took me years to stop rationalizing that. Growing up and in my early twenties I was "a very healthy obese person." I didn't have diabetes. My cholesterol was picture perfect. My blood pressure couldn't be better. I was a walking contradiction because I WAS very healthy despite being obese. I took that for granted. I abused my body. After mom died I stopped caring at all. I turned to food for comfort. Then issues with birth parents, GAL, adoption stuff made me turn to food even more. I was eating to cope. My coping skills were killing me.

In September I checked my blood sugar for the first time in ages. I still wasn't taking my meds. I nearly passed out when I looked at the machine and seen the numbers 368. I consistently checked it fasting never got out of the 200s. Post prandials (sp?) were never out of the 300s. I was so scared because I KNEW what this all meant. I was too scared to die, but too scared to change.

Since Mom passed away I have been very angry at her lifestyle choices. She could've chosen to lose weight but she didn't. She could've chosen to stop smoking, but she didn't until she'd done so much damage that it could never be reversed. She could've chosen life so that my kids could've had more time with their Grammie. She could've chosen life so that I wouldn't have been an orphan at 25.

I was such a hypocrite. Here I was getting so upset with Mama for the horrible choices she made that caused me to live without my mama were the exact same choices that I was making now. Worse still was the fact that I not only knew what SHE went through and the demons she struggled with to live healthy, but I KNEW what I would be putting my children through after I died.

Fast forward to December 28th when my life changed forever. 326 lbs and determined to get healthy. Between September and December my eating habits didn't change at all unless they moved in a more negative direction. While I didn't check my blood sugar then I'm sure it hadn't changed any.

Here I am at the 7 week mark. This morning I went to Walmart and purchased a new blood sugar machine. I also found that they had started making an at home A1C test. For those of you who don't know what that is it is a blood test that averages the last 3 months of blood sugar levels. This test is the reason I was glad to avoid going to the doctor for the last 3 years. I purchased the test and finished my shopping. When I got home I tested my blood sugar and then took the test. The past two months my eating habits have changed DRASTICALLY. This morning my kids wanted Krystals so I stopped and got a 12 pack. I had one with them. the A1C test is supposed to be fasting.

My results weren't what I expected at all. I opened everything and checked my blood sugar. It was 87. Ok so I hadn't done too bad with the Krystal. Then I prepared myself for the number that I was going to see on the other test and I took the plunge. When I called my sister Kathy to tell her the results I looked up a chart online to see what my result averaged out to. Looking at the chart my blood sugar levels in September were equivalentant to an A1C level of 12.5-13.0. Today my A1C level was 6.0. That means my average blood sugar is around 136. I have done well enough in the last 7 weeks to drop my A1C 7 points.

I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO proud of myself. I am glad to see the weight coming off. It's not coming off nearly as fast as I would like to see it, but it IS coming off. However, the A1C tells me more about my progress than the scale EVER will. I AM getting healthier. This was the reward, the pay off for all of my hard work the last 7 weeks. I did this. WoW!!!

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11

Blessings,

Weight Loss Mama

Month 1 Progress Report

I had my second clinic visit today. Apparently they measured me wrong last time because my waist was still the same. I have lost 11 lbs, though. My blood pressure is coming down and my pulse was better than I expected it to be. This is definitely not where I expected to be 4 weeks ago, but it is progress so I will take it. Hopefully next month will be better, but as long as I'm going in the right direction I'm ok.

Goals I've met this month: I have lost 44 lbs total. I have lost 10% of my original weight. I am so happy about that. Next month I would like to lose at least 15 lbs, but we will see where I go from here.

Emotionally, I had a really hard night. Husband wasn't nearly as supportive today. When I came home Landon was in fine form. At bedtime he proceeded to get mad at me over making him go to bed. He said some really mean things to me. I know he's 5 and didn't mean what he said. Still, it hurts. After a nice cry I sat down and talked to him about what he said. It's not ok to do whatever you want to do without thought of how it will effect those around you. It's not ok to use your words to intentionally hurt someone either.

Overall I guess the day wasn't too bad but health wise I'm not making nearly as much progress as I wanted to. I am beginning to hate Wednesdays because it's the day John pulls doubles and that is just a recipe for a bad day in itself. I love my kids with all my heart, but as an adoptive mom I have issues that I need to overcome. It is all a part of getting to a healthier me. I will get there one day at a time with God's help.