Home By Nicol Sponberg
What is it like to be to be held in the same arms that hold the universe
What is it like to sleep on the chest of the King of Heaven and earth
When you open your eyes and look on the face of the Giver of Life
The Author of Grace...Do you know
Your days here changed everything
You're missed here and always will be
But you left here the greatest gift of all
Cause our hearts ache for home
What is it like to breathe in and breathe out... Heaven's Glorious Light
What is it to be robed in perfection... no reason to cry
When you feel on your face your Father's kiss...His welcome embrace
We prayed for this...You should know
Your days here changed everything
You're missed here and always will be
But you left here the greatest gift of all
Cause our hearts ache for home
So twinkle, twinkle little star
We will keep you in our hearts
Twinkle, twinkle little star
We will meet you where you are.
Your days here changed everything
You're missed here and always will be
But you left here the greatest gift of all
Cause our hearts ache for home
There is something so wrong with a parent burying their child. It is so unnatural and just WRONG! It hurt to bury my mama, but I always knew I would. She had lived her life. It hurt like I never imagined, but this is completely different. It was so cold outside. I didn't want to leave him. As a Christian I know that he's not in this earthly vessel anymore. Try telling that to my mama's heart. My life has changed over the years. We didn't bury our other children. The guilt I've carried from that I would never wish on anyone. We knew we wanted to make sure we didn't repeat those same mistakes.
Jeremiah's funeral was attended by only two. John dug his spot while I stood there and just cried. The kids napped in the car while we held his life celebration. I would've stood there forever if I could've. I'm his mama. I should be with him. John told me I had to leave because my living children needed me. I totally understand that. In a perfect world I would have all of my children with me. The greatest heartbreak is when you have earth blessings and angels. You feel so pulled between both of them. Obviously, God has plans for me so I must stay here...my heart feels torn into. I want to be here and raise my kids but I want to be with Jeremiah and my angels also. When I think of Jeremiah I see Isaiah. Isaiah is a total mama's boy. He loves his daddy, but there's nothing like mama. I am thankful Grammie is there to hold Jeremiah, but that is my job.
Last night we told the boys about Jeremiah. Most don't agree and that is fine. This is our family and this is how we chose to handle things. They knew we had "Jesus Babies" before we got them. Sam understands that his brother's short life was a blessing. Landon is mad. He doesn't understand. To be honest with you I understand how he feels. I haven't hit the anger stage of grief yet, but I am definitely in the hurting/questioning why stage.
No matter how we hurt or grieve, we still believe in the goodness of God. Jeremiah's life was a good thing. We love him. He is ours and will be forever. It seem like forever until we will see each other again, but on the other side of this life I will see how short this life really was. I miss him. I long to hold him again. Even if I had known how short our time together would be, I would do it all over again. He is such a blessing to us. We love you Jeremiah.
For those who are reading this who know us, I have but one request. It terrifies me to know that he will never be spoken of. I understand how you may feel. For us though, I WANT to talk about him. I want others to talk about him. Please don't act like he didn't exist. John and I will spend the rest of our lives missing him...see visions of what he would've been, what he would do..would he be a Mama's boy? Daddy's little man? The play dates that won't happen...the wedding that will never be. I'll never get to see his babies. I will never get to dance with him at his wedding. I know this isn't easy for you, but it's not easy for us either. If you really want to help us then help us keep his memory alive.
My sweet, sweet Jeremiah, Mommy and Daddy love you more than you will ever know. Our hearts ache because we must be separated from you for a time. We will always remember you. We will carry you with us forever.
"Daddy please don't look so sad, momma please don't cry.
Cause I'm in the arms of Jesus, and he sings me lullabies.
Please try not to question God, don't think he is unkind.
Don't think he sent me to you and then changed his mind.
You see I'm a special child, I am needed up above.
I'm the special gift you gave Him, a product of your love.
I'll always be there with you, so watch the sky at night.
Look for the brightest star and know that's my halo's brilliant light.
You'll see me in the morning frost that mists your window pane.
That's me in the summer showers, I'll be dancing in the rain.
When you feel a gentle breeze from a gentle wind that blows.
Know that it's me planting a kiss upon your nose.
When you see a child playing and your heart feels a tug,
Don't be sad mommy, that's just me giving your heart a hug.
So daddy don't looks so sad and momma please don't cry.
I'm in the arms of Jesus and he sings me lullabies!
~Unknown
Many thoughts and prayers!!!!
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