When I started this journey I never thought that my little blog would ever
get bigger than my circle of friends. Yesterday, I had the blessing of knowing
that a friend had referred another friend of hers to my blog. I guess I should
take the time for an introduction.
My name is Lisa. I live in Tennessee. I have been married to my wonderful
husband, John for 7.5 years. We have 10 beautiful children. Five of those
children I have carried within my womb. We had to say goodbye to them way too
soon. We named our angel babies Madison, Elijah (Eli), Hannah, Felicity and
Michael. The other five were birthed from my hopes and dreams and birthed in my
heart and carried in another woman's body. We named them Samuel (Sam), Landon,
Jewel-Anne (My mom's name sake), Liana and Isaiah. In addition to my many little
blessings, I have 4 older siblings, 3 nieces and a great nephew.
I guess we should start from the beginning. My mom was overweight my entire
life. She was a working mom and it made it difficult to make healthy eating
habits for both of us. My youngest sibling is 13 years OLDER than me so in many
ways I grew up like an only child. I was blessed to be cared for by my great
aunt when mom was working. She was awesome. In a lot of ways she was like a
grandmother to me. My grandparents passed away before I was 12 years old. I am
so thankful for the relationship I had with my Aunt Flossie.
I was in public school until 6th grade. I was the fat kid who didn't make
friends easily. I didn't fit in. I didn't even fit in with the outcasts. In 6th
grade, when it was time to transition to another school my mom decided she
didn't want me to continue in public school. We started homeschooling. I LOVED
it because I didn't have to be constantly reminded that I didn't belong. Shortly
afterwards Mom started having mini strokes so she ended up having to take
extremely early retirement and became a stay at home mom. This was awesome. Now
I got to spend the time with her that I didn't when I was little.
When I was 8 years old I started my period. It completely freaked my mom out because I
was so young. The doctor assured her I was fine. I had regular periods (every 28
days) for about 2 years. Then my periods became very irregular. I seen several
OB/GYNs and no one could figure out what was going on. I was in 7th grade when I
first met with Dr. L. This was also the first time I would have a pelvic. I went
back alone while mom sat in the waiting room. She gave me a prescription to
start my period and another prescription for birth control to regulate my
periods. Here I was 13 years old and this doctor proceeds to tell me that she
didn't foresee children in my future. She told me it would be very hard to get
pregnant and even with fertility treatments she didn't hold much hope. Who says
things like that to a child??? I left her office scared, confused and determined
to prove her wrong. I spent years praying that God would heal me. I spent my
entire childhood playing house. My whole life revolved around getting married
and having babies.
Fast forward to meeting my husband. We had a very unusual first date
conversation. The conversation with Dr. L never left my mind. I was a broken
woman. I felt that John deserved to know this. He took it all in stride and then
just hugged me. He told me that it didn't matter to him. We got pregnant with
Madison later that year. God had healed me!! The Dr. was wrong. Sadly, this
dream didn't live long. I miscarried her. I have always felt God whisper to me
the gender of our children when I was pregnant with them. When we would miscarry
I named them accordingly.
In 2006, and 4 miscarriages later, we met with a fertility specialist. Dr.
D. He was the most cold-hearted doctor I had ever met in my life. He turned
around after some testing, told me I was FAT and to come back after I lost 200
lbs. I went home in tears. A friend of mine at the time referred me to her
specialist, Dr. H. In January 2007, our first appt with her was completely
different. She was very kind and gentle. She acknowledged my weight problem, but
said we would still work with it until we had exhausted all of our possibilities
or until we were ready to stop trying. It took her less than 60 seconds to
diagnose me with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrom (PCOS). We tested me for insulin
resistance and sure enough that was that. A diagnosis. Finally! SOMETHING made
since.
The doctor monitored a couple cycles, we tried a couple cycles of Femara
(thought I was going to DIE). We made the decision to try Clomid the next cycle.
I started my period which I thought was unusual since I hadn't had a period on
my own in YEARS. All of my cylces with the RE (specialist) had ended with a
prescription of Provera to bring on my period. I remember taking a pregnancy
test because it was just weird. I only bled for two days then it stopped. Cycle
Day (CD) 3 I started the Clomid. CD4 I started spotting. I called the pharmacist
and the on call nurse. Both of them assured me it was just a side effect of the
medicine. I continued to spot when I went in for the ultrasound to check my
eggs.
I walked in and Dr. H told me she probably wouldn't have good news for
me because of the spotting. She did the ultrasound then walks out telling me to
get dressed. My favorite nurse J took blood before I left and told me she'd call
me with the results. We only had one car so I took John to work then went home.
I had been extra tired for the past two weeks. I assumed it was because of the
Clomid. I was so down hearted because we weren't going to be able to try this
cycle. I laid down and took a nap. I was awaked by a phone call from J. She said
"Well I have good news and bad news! The good news is your pregnant. The bad
news is your numbers are very low!" Wait a minute! Was I dreaming? Today is my
birthday AND she just said I was pregnant??? After I realized it wasn't a dream
I told mom and went to get the pharmacy to get my injections. I would be taking
injectable progesterone during my pregnancy to keep little Michael growing.
I went to meet John on his lunch break and he left work for the day. We
told everyone we knew how God had blessed us. I have never understood how people
can keep from telling others they are pregnant. We told his parents, my
siblings, the rest of his family all of our friends.
The next day was Friday. I took DeShaun, my "nephew" shopping at Babies R
Us. I bought What to Expect When You're Expecting for me, What to Expect When
She's Expanding and an elephant for John's desk, some board books for Michael
and his first stuffed animal. The rest of the weekend I rested as told by my
doctor.
Monday, I went in so upbeat and positive. Again, I received another call that
woke me from my nap, but this time it wasn't good news. "The baby is gone. Your
numbers are zero now. Call us when you start bleeding." Wait a minute here! This
wasn't supposed to be happening! God had blessed us. We had done all the right
things. I had been having a giant needle jabbed into my hip to ensure his
safety. None of it mattered, though. He was gone. We had already picked the
paint for the nursery, the border (sealife theme). How could this be true.
I remember telling John during that time that after we'd taken the time to
heal that I was ready to start foster parenting classes. In January we'd decided
we would work with Dr. H for a year then start them, but my arms couldn't handle
being without my babies any longer. We painted the nursery and got it all set up
with the promise that God would bring us children. We continued to try to get
pregnant and started our classes in November. In February I had a HSG test done
to check to see if my tubes were blocked. They weren't, praise GOD! We continued
to try. March 5, 2008 we had our last visit with our case worker (A) to complete
our home study. She also told us they had two little boys (1 and 3) they wanted
to place with us and asked if we were interested. I said sure! This is the point
where God is sitting in Heaven laughing at me because only HE knew what was
coming. The case worker told us she was having problems getting our back ground
check from Georgia. We had lived there for 6 months 4.5 years prior. She left
the house saying she was going to go back to the office to find a supervisor to
approve our home study without it. A called 1.5 hrs later to tell me she had the
approval and Placement would be calling me shortly.
Placement called and gave us few details. They gave me the boys' were
living with their aunt and uncle (J and R). J wanted me to call her that night.
We talked for a while and she was able to tell me what sizes they were, likes
and dislikes and other things. We decided that they would move on Friday so that
they had time to talk to the boys about the move.
Friday morning came. The boys were to arrive at 10. I was freaking out
because they were late. They ended up being over an hour late. Sam walks into my
house and says "Are you my new mommy?" My heart melted and broke at the same
time. I said yes and he hugged me. Then he looked at me and said "Where's my
room and new toys?" LOL The case worker spent 30 minutes unloading all of their
things and told me that J would be bringing me the rest tomorrow. I never knew
two little people could have so much stuff. We filled out paper work and she
left.
It took the boys less than 30 minutes to completely destroy the room that
we'd worked so hard to make. They had toys EVERYWHERE. They had ripped wallpaper
off the walls. It was a very crazy weekend. The boys came to us with issues that
we had to work through, but I was very thankful to have little ones in my house.
During the summer we stopped fertility treatments after trying injectable
hormones. Our next step would've been IVF but it was just so expensive we
couldn't afford it.
The rest of 2008 was a huge roller coaster with DCS stuff, Mom's health,
and ultimately her death. We had a perfect Christmas together and 3 days later
she was gone. The year had started out so promising and by New Years Eve I had
buried my best friend, my son's best friend, my mom and our children's Grammie.
On the way to the grave yard I remember telling my husband that if God ever
blessed us with another girl I wanted to name her after Mama. I never really
expected Him to do it though. In April we celebrated Landon's birthday and
completed our adoption on the same day. We kept our home open because we could
still accept an infant. Infant placements are almost unheard of because EVERYONE
wants them. We were settling into life as a family of 4. We were able to breathe
again.
Easter weekend I ended up having my tonsils taken out. By this time Aunt
Flossie was in a nursing home. She died the week after Easter. Eight days later
John's father passed away also. We had a very emotional April. So far 2009
wasn't being very kind to us. We were incredibly blessed with our adoption, but
we had 3 funerals in less than 4 months.
May came and we celebrated Mother's Day. I won the flowers for the "young"
mother category. Our pastor made the announcement that it was my first official
Mother's Day. (How I cringe at the fact that if you are mom to an angel people
don't consider that you are a "real" mom. Ironically, most don't consider me our
living children's REAL mom either.) Two days later (May 12th) we got an
unexpected call from Placement saying they had a two week old baby girl they
wanted to place with us. I called John and he rushed home. He ended up getting
pulled over at the end of our road for speeding through our little town. The cop
let him go when he told him what was going on. The next day we brought this
precious baby girl home and prayed that we'd get to keep her forever.
In 2010 we made the improvements to be able to take in 2 more children. The
day we were approved our case worker walked out with me telling her if we got a
placement in 40 days (the exact amount of time between our adoption with the
boys and Jewel-Anne's arrival to our home) that I would consider it a good sign.
Later that night I got a call from her telling me she had another placement for
us. I told her that she wasn't funny. I thought she was kidding. She wasn't.
John rushed home and got there about 10 minutes before Liana arrived.
Jewel-Anne's adoption was completed just a few weeks later.
During one of our meetings with Liana's case worker we found out that her
birth mom was pregnant again. We put our home on hold to make sure we had room
for the new baby and we waited. May 19, 2010 we brought Isaiah home.
Our adoption with Liana and Isaiah was completed November 3rd 2011. We are
adjusting to life after graduating as foster parents. Tennessee law states we
can't have more than 6 kids and no more than 3 under 3.
While we would love to adopt again we are hoping that God will bless my
womb to allow me to carry more children. I have always dreamed of having a large
family and I know that won't happen through DCS and private adoption is so
expensive. I am hoping that a side effect of this healthy living will increase
my fertility. God can heal me and we are trusting that he will.
So there you have it. My long-winded story of me. I hope it didn't bore you
too much. I hope that you'll come back and visit my blog again. I look forward
to getting to know my new followers better.
Blessings,
Weight Loss Mama
Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is
in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at
a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NKJV)
No comments:
Post a Comment