Today has been a very, very bad day.  It started when I got up at 6 AM this morning.  I didn't sleep well last night at all.  The kids needed baths.  I needed a bath.  John needed a bath.  The kids needed breakfast.  I had to run to the store.  I had to get the kids to Stephanie's because John and I had an appointment.  I had been dreading this appointment for a couple days now.  By the time I got to Stephanie's house I could fill a panic attack in the midst, although I've never had one.  It was BAD.


We got to the appointment and it went pretty much as I suspected it would - my worst fear materializing before my very eyes.  Two hours later we were on our way to pick up the kids.  By the time I got there, Stephanie said the kids had been having some icky diapers.  I am hoping this was a fluke and doesn't mean that everyone is getting sick again.  We got home just in time for John to leave for work.


This afternoon was filled with one thing or another.  I really feel sorry for anyone who has had the unfortunate displeasure of dealing with me.  I have had 3 amazing friends surround me with sweet words, love and support.  Those that understood I couldn't speak, but loved me via text message.  I appreciate the prayers everyone has sent my way the last few days.  It means a lot.


Right now all I can think about is how much I would love to have my Mama's wisdom and support.  I want a Dad hug.  I want to be at that place in our relationship where I can pour my heart out to him and when I am done rest in knowing everything is going to be ok.  For now I just settle for the hugs I get when I am with him.


Today has really shaken me.   It has been a test of faith.  It may sound dramatic because the blog is very vague, but  I truly feel like God is shielding me from His protection right now.  I feel like I am having a Job experience right now.  Oh the respect I have for that man.  Here I am whining about what I am going through when it's nothing compared to what he went through.  For now I am trying to rest in knowing that God is still in control and He sees the whole picture.  I am trusting that there's more than what I know and that He is working all things for my good.


No blood work results for today.  Perhaps those results will come tomorrow. I think I am going to bed early tonight.  I need to be able to shut out all of my thoughts.


Blessings,


Lisa