I do not know how vague or forthcoming I will be in my blogs for the next couple months. Some of them may be very vague while others will be very transparent. I will ask that, if you follow me here and know me on facebook, please show me the respect of not posting anything there until I do.
Life, she is a-changin'. I am not going to go into all the reasons why. I will say that after being a stay at home wife and mom for over twenty years (besides a short stent at Walmart a couple years ago), I am going back to work. It is just time. Life is shifting. John and I will be sharing the trio's school responsibilities so that part of our lives will not change.
In late spring, we started praying about me going back to work. We both had some requirements and some desires from a position should God bless me with a job. 1) I wanted something I could do from home. When I had my short stint at Walmart, I felt like I never saw my family because I felt like all I did was work and sleep. 2) I wanted weekends off if possible. John, while he works two jobs, has the weekend off from his main job. 3) I wanted a shift that was close to his main job's shift. This way I would be off for appointments and such in the mornings. I would be able to get stuff done since I wouldn't have a weekend day off. There were a few other "wants" but these were the big ones. The big thing was, I wanted God to place me where HE wanted me.
I started applying for positions in late May. I applied at over 50 places. I had a few interviews. Globe Life wanted me to sell insurance for them. I had a couple companies that decided I didn't have enough experience after interviewing for them. Then, I finally got hired with company A. Company A was the first company that showed real interest in me. It was going to be a telemarketing position where I would be doing political fundraising calls. I didn't have peace about it, but I accepted it because it was a job. My thought process was that I would stay there until I built up some experience and then move on to another company. The problem with this position was, other than the obvious, I have medical problems. The position was 9a-5:30PM *I think*. Each doctor's appointment I had, I would have to schedule time off from work because I wouldn't be able to get to the doctor and get to work before I was to clock in. There was no PTO offered, etc. Still, my plan was to make the best of it. I was supposed to start training for company A this past Monday (7/6).
Then, I got a call for an interview from Company B. I interviewed with them on 7/1. I was sure that I wasn't going to get the position. I had two interviews with them. The first interview was with a lady who went over the position and asked some "interview- tell me a time when... questions" She had some technical issues so a 20 minute interview ended up lasting over an hour. There were two other ladies interviewing at the same time (online). She asked me to stay after the interview. She wanted to know if I thought I would be a good fit for their company since I didn't have any call center experience. I started to freak out because I was already sure I had screwed up the interview at this point. I had gotten tips from a couple people, but instead of using those tips, I went in and was just myself. I told her that I knew that I didn't have the experience another person may have but that I would give it my all and work hard for their company if given the chance. She scheduled a second interview. The second interview was just over an hour later with a gentleman. He went over more details about the company and the position. He wanted to know if I could be a self starter. A lot of my examples were from being a mom to 5 kids. I also told him I was an introvert and I did well in settings where I had to motivate myself. He admitted that he was a fellow introvert so he was excited about that. Again, I spent this interview feeling like I wouldn't get the job, but GOD (and I give Him all the praise!) At the end of the interview, the gentleman told me he wanted to offer me the position. Company B, has PTO, Holidays, benefits, etc. The pay is a bit less than company A, but not by much. Company B seems like a better fit though. My list from earlier? Company B? It meets every single one of those boxes. It's a work from home position. Weekends off. John and I work the exact same schedule. They are also supplying me with the equipment I need to work - something Company A didn't do. I had to supply everything (computer, headset, etc.) For those wondering, yes I did write Company A and decline the position when I accepted the other position. I felt bad, but I wanted an opportunity where I could grow with the company and I couldn't get that from Company A.
There has been much stress with me going back to work and I haven't even started yet. I feel like I am not qualified for this job. Obviously, they are going to train me. There is 8 weeks of training. There are tests I have to pass or I do not get to keep the position. That is scary and reassuring at the same time. They said they do everything they can to help us pass the tests short of taking the tests for us. They want to see us succeed. I have a very low self-esteem so it has been an emotional rollercoaster. I am scared of failing. Those closest to me who know what has been going on have listened to me endlessly. I am so grateful for those people. Eventually, this news may become public, but I want to try to make it through the 8 weeks of training first. I keep telling myself that the only thing that will truly relieve this stress is surviving milestones. If I make it through Orientation, my first day...first week, pass my first test...get my first pay check... pass the next test... (there are six of them)... When I am not overwhelmed with stress I know that this is a blessing from God and if He has provided, HE will see me through. It doesn't mean I don't need to do my part. It DOES mean that He won't leave me.
I would ask that if you see this that you pray for me, but most likely, if you are seeing this, the time has already passed so I made it through this first phase. Prayers are always good, though sooooo... 😉
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