We had a very typical, teenage first date. We went out to Burger King for lunch. Then we went to see a movie. Afterwards, we sat and talked for the longest time before we went back to church for the evening. I feel in love with him that day. I knew we would one day be married.
The past eleven years have had many ups and downs in them. Mom's health was already declining when I met John. About seven months after our first date we moved to Georgia so Mom could be closer to my sister. John came with us, although, that kind of surprised me. It wasn't long after we arrived that Mama had a heart attack. Over the course of a month or two she'd had a heart attack, open heart surgery and an amputation. It was quickly determined that John would need to quit his job to care for her because neither my sister or I could lift her. Over the next few years he was always willing to do whatever needed to be done. When we moved back to TN, we made the decision that he'd go back to work right after our wedding. He took a night time job so he could be home during the day to transport Mom, now a double amputee and wheelchair bound, to all of her appointments. I cannot count the number of days he got very little to no sleep.
Then the kids came along. Before we got involved in foster care we had 4 miscarriages and have sense had 3 more. There were years of fertility treatments. Tons of parenting classes for foster care. Endless phone calls and tears with me crying because I was so stressed out. Through it all he was there with me and was my rock.
After Mama passed away, I didn't know how I would make it. I don't remember a lot from that time, but I remember collapsing in Walgreen's parking lot in tears. I remember being at the grave yard and refusing to leave. Everyone was trying to make me get up, but he just put his jacket around me and let me stay until I was ready to go. He stayed up nights with me as I cried until I could cry no more. He reassured me that, no I would never forget her.
He has held me when I cried, held my hair as I dealt with the battles of morning sickness, encouraged me when I felt unworthy, and rejoiced with me in the good times. The last eleven years have held a lifetime of changes. Most of those changes would've sent any other man running for the hills, yet he has stayed. That is not to say our marriage is without it's trouble. We have sure had our share of that, but John has been faithful to be there. In a world that is constantly changing, he is there...even when I don't want him to be. ;-)
If I could go back and do it all over again, there are a whole lot of things I would change. People I would've left behind sooner than what I did. There are relationships I would've severed a lot sooner than I did because they were toxic for my marriage. Despite the things I would change, one thing is certain - I wouldn't change the life I have built with my husband for anything.
I seen a quote on facebook the other day that said "I married a sinner and so did my spouse." I am so glad John has been faithful to love me through my own imperfections. I really don't know what I would do without him.
Today, his gift to me was amazing. He worked last night so when he got home I went to the pharmacy to pick up his medicine and stopped by Walmart. His anniversary gift from me was a pack of gum. His gift to me was much more sacrificial. Even though he was very tired, he knew that I was having a bad day and he let me nap while he stayed awake with the kids. He made dinner for them tonight so I wouldn't have to. I realize we've reached the status of "old married couple" now because this is the way we choose to celebrate. There was nothing he could've given me that meant more than a lazy day at home where I could rest.
Blessings,
Mama
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