Onederland!

 Well, I did it. I am a couple days late blogging about it, but I hit ONEDERLAND the day after Thanksgiving!! That has been a dream of mine since I started this journey. I will admit, though, that it has me scared to death. My weight yo-yos a lot. I will lose a few pounds and gain a pound back, and so on and so forth. As my therapist says "Weight loss is not linear." Onederland has brought on some new fears that I didn't expect, though. 

I am right on the cusp of Onederland (199.7) and I am afraid I will do something wrong and gain those extra .3 lbs back before I go to the doctor on Monday. (An unexpected appointment). 

I am terrified of eating - eating too much, eating the wrong thing, etc. 

I am fearful of drinking (water) - will I drink too much? Will I gain water weight? 

Monday's appointment isn't my official weigh-in for December so I will have another appointment in a couple weeks. Will I lose enough for them to see that I am still trying to lose weight on the phentermine? 

Speaking of Phentermine, have I lost enough to appease them to make them continue to prescribe it for me? I did talk to my PCP who said that once the 6 months was up he would write my prescription for it. (Bariatrics said they would only prescribe it for six months.)

I know all of these fears are not of God, and I am trying to combat them with TRUTH, but they are still very much real in my mind and I am having to work through them. If you see this, please just pray for me. I do not want to allow Satan and his fear tactics to steal my joy of a goal well earned.