Midnight Ramblings

It is well after midnight and I have no idea why I am still awake. I have so many things that are waiting for me in the morning. The kids will be up before I know it, but yet I cannot find sleep. My mind just will not turn off.

There are so many good things going on right now. I just have this unsettling feeling. I think it stems from the fact that today was the anniversary of me walking into the doctor's office, and later the ER where I was told that the doctor was certain I had congestive heart failure. Thankfully, that wasn't the case, but that time in my life was very scary. Unfortunately, it would take months to figure out that I wasn't dying. For those who do not know, this was one of the contributing factors to Mama's death.

It isn't too surprising to find out that this was also the time where we found out that I had anxiety issues. I was a fairly new Mom. I had 5 babies. And this doctor who had spent less than an hour with me had told me I was suffering from a deadly illness. Yep, that pretty much settles it for you. I think that would break the strongest person.


On to better news, my husband and I will be going on our first mini-vacation alone since we had kids. We took a few short overnight/weekend stays when Mom was still with us, prior to having kids. A couple summers ago, we were able to get away for the weekend thanks to my sisters keeping our children. This is also the first vacation we have had since my husband and I reunited. We are both looking forward to it. Our children are staying with their friends. We know that they will be well taken care of and will have tons of fun. It is hard to think of being away from them, but I know this time will be as good for them as it is for us.

This is the time of year that I love and I dread all at the same time. It's tax season. It's also curriculum purchase time. I have had curriculum anxiety since we first started homeschooling. When I homeschooled, we used Abeka for a while. Then, we used School of Tomorrow. We started both of the oldest boys out with Abeka. Then, we switched to an online curriculum called Easy Peasy. The kids loved the curriculum, but it just wasn't working well for me, so we are going back to books this year. I wish that there was a local place where you could go in and see all of the different curriculums and get a chance to check them out. One of the things I'm starting to realize is that I cannot box my kids in. What may work well for one, does not necessarily work well for the other. Unfortunately, this is a very expensive, non-refundable lesson.

One of the joys of CFS is that sometimes your mind just goes completely blank. Unfortunately, that is where I am right now so I'm going to close this. Goodnight all.

Blessings,

Lisa