Father's Day Plans

(For those who know me outside of this blog, I ask that you please keep your negative opinions to yourself. This journey is hard enough without worrying about the well meaning opinions and advice. Unless you've been there you don't know what decisions you would make. We are both just trying to find our way through this crazy mess. I ask that you stop and ask yourself how you would feel if you were in my shoes. Would you find comfort and strength in the words you are about to speak? If the answer is no then can I suggest that you just stop and pray for us instead? I don't say that to be mean. I really appreciate your concern.)





I talked to Dad again today.  I didn't expect to get a hold of him so I called him right as I pulled into the gym's parking lot. I really need to stop having conversations on the way to the gym.  I asked him how he felt about me joining him at church on Sunday. I didn't get the answer I had hoped for.  He told me that all of this stuff is still very new to him and that he hadn't taken the opportunity to discuss it with anyone at his church.  He told me he wasn't ready for me to come to church with him yet.  While it wasn't the answer I hoped for, I respect his honesty and his transparency.  This is all so new and we are still finding our way through it all. 

In previous conversations, he and I have tended to avoid the harder conversations.  When something uncomfortable comes up we usually get off the phone pretty quickly.  Today, we didn't do that.  We discussed my weight loss journey, a bit.  He has diabetes also.  I told him I had lost 70 lbs already.  He asked me how much more I wanted to lose.  When I told him I still had about 150-200 (over estimated as it's more like 180 now) and he told me I was crazy.  I told him that I started at 360.  He said "Well, there's no way you weigh 360 now!"  He shared some of the tips that he'd used over the years to help take pounds off.  It was a really nice conversation. We ended our call with him telling me to call him again soon so we could set up a time to get together.  He told me he didn't want me to think he didn't want to see me again, but he just wasn't ready for such a big step yet.

As I sat there in the gym parking lot, I had such a weird experience.  As a very emotional person, I typically go to the worst case scenerio, especially when things don't work out the way I want them to.  Today, I tried to allow myself to go to that place but I didn't.  I am disappointed that my dream of spending Father's Day in church with my dad won't come true this year.  God knows how much this means to me so I will just hold on to the hope of joining him next year (and every year after that).  My disappointment was turned into joy because 1) He was honest with me. 2) We discussed "normal stuff" (he just got back from a business trip and told me a bit about it). 3) We discussed health issues and he gave me advice.  We ended things on a good note and he even told me he looked forward to seeing me again.  What more could I ask for?

Now, we will spend Father's Day in our church and then take John out for lunch.  He got lawn equipment for his gift, so we already gave it to him.  It's kind of hard to wrap that! ;-)  He was happy with it though.  I see Mother's and Father's Days more about the kids anyway.  It's our day for our kids to go out of their way to show their love.  I have gotten gifts that I had to find a creative use for.  ;-)  For me, it's more about seeing their eyes light up when they have poured their love into a gift to make their parent happy.  I hope it's a great day for John.  I also hope Dad enjoys his day as well.

For He satisfies the longing soul, and fills the hungry soul with goodness. - Psalm 107:9 (NKJV)



Blessing,


Weight Loss Mama