January Weigh-Ins

 January Weigh-Ins

    5 - 258.4

    12 -261.8

    19 -

    26 -

Three Hours

 I did it. I decided to pump it up and see what I can do in the next week before I go back to the doctor. I did three hours on the walking pad today! I am very sore but it was worth it. I do not know if I can do that again but I am proud of myself for the goals I accomplished today! 

2025

 I am not a person who makes New Year's Resolutions, but I have been thinking about what the coming year will bring. Where will I be this time next year? What will the new year bring? Will I crush my goals? Sometimes I think I will rock this weight loss surgery. Other times - I feel like this will be another failed attempt in my endless list of attempts to get healthy. (Just being  honest here.) I am in a weird place right now. I feel like I am in a holding pattern right now. 2024 has brought a few changes... more than a few really. 2025 will be bringing so many more, though. I am hoping they are all good changes. My head is full of thoughts tonight but I cannot seem to get them out so I guess I will end this blog post here. 

A Year In Books 2025

 Each year I make a blog post to keep track of the books I have read that year. My goal this year is going to be 52 books. 

1. A Groom for Willow By Patricia PacJac Carroll
2. Allison By Kirsten Osbourne
3. A Groom For Charity By Shonda Fischer

Month One Officially Over

 Month one is officially over...and I am frustrated. I wanted to lose the entire ten pounds that my bariatric doctor has requested of me. According to my scales at home I was pretty close to meeting that goal. Then, today, I went to my PCP for my second diet visit and found out that according to THEIR scales, I lost TWO POUNDS the entire month. I am frustrated and heartbroken. My doctor was so kind and reassuring. He said he was proud of me when I vented to him. I am on a 1200 calorie diet that I have followed every day minus a couple days. I have walked at least 30 minutes every single day and it's been an entire hour for the last two plus weeks. I am now drinking 140oz + of water a day. I am at a loss for what more I can do. So we are playing with my meds now. He has taken me completely off the Metformin. He also increased my dose of Mounjaro to 15mg. He promised me we would get the to the 10 lb mark that my bariatric doctor has requested of me before this is all said and done. I picked up the new dose of Mounjaro on the way home. I will start it on Saturday because that is my shot day. Here's hoping month two will be better. 

Hard Days

 Today has been a very hard day. I have done all the things. The walking pad was the first thing I did this morning. I have been doing a full hour the last couple days. I have been drinking my water. (Thank God for flavor packets!) I have had my meals and stayed within my calories. I can check all the boxes, but I am struggling emotionally. I cried most of the time I was on the walking pad. Nothing happened...It was just a day where my mind started throwing EVERYTHING at me. I am not losing like I think I should and that is disappointing me. I have lost 7 lbs as of today. I was hoping to have lost my 10 lbs that my bariatric doctor had giving me as my 3 month goal. I know it's only been a month, but I really wanted to see me reach that goal. The first week I lost so much so I thought the other weeks would be the same. I do not want to go back to my bariatric doctor having ONLY lost 10 lbs. I go back to my primary doctor next Friday for my second diet appointment. I am really hoping to have met (surpassed) that 10 lb mark by that point. 

So I have spent the day struggling. I have wanted to do nothing more than to get in the van and drive until I outrun the junk that is in my head. However, John works his second job today and he has the van and I am broke so I cannot do what I would do if I had the van. I did the next best thing. I drowned my emotions in a nap and Christmas movies. I watched the newest Grinch movie and a couple Hallmark movies. I cooked lunch and dinner for myself. Tomorrow is a new day and I am sure it will be much better, but today...today has been hard and that is ok. 

December Weigh-Ins

 December Weigh-Ins

    7 - 262.6

    14 - 265.8

    21 - 263.2

    28 - 266.2

Choose Your Hard

 I had a conversation with my husband the other night about something I had seen on facebook. It was contrasting the differences between marriage and divorce. (DISCLAIMER: My marriage is fine. It is better than it has ever been.) The gist of it was that both of them were difficult and to "choose your hard." Over the last few months I have had several moments (days, situations, etc.) where I have done just that. Weight Loss Surgery and weight loss in general is so difficult. It has been so hard changing my lifestyle, especially this new diet I am on. There are many times I do not want to walk or get on the walking pad. There are many times when I want to throw away my Bariatric Binder and go back to my old ways. Why? Because this new life is HARD! HOWEVER! I can tell you what else is hard. Daily (sometimes 8-10) insulin injections a day, multiple finger sticks (before my CGM) a day, 17 medications that must be taken daily, following the path of my parents. The possibility of dying young simply because of the choices I make. Possibly losing my limbs, eyesight, or more... Possible heart problems...My list could go on. I could write a book. This life is HARD! So today. Each day. Each moment sometimes, I am choosing my hard. I am eating the right things. Have I made a few bad choices during this last month? Yes, but bad moments didn't mean that I quit! I got back up and moved on in the manner that I am supposed to. I am choosing to walk every day. I am keeping a food and exercise journal. I am becoming proud of myself. I am doing hard things because hard things are where I am finding my joy. I am choosing my hard - because I am worth more than I have been giving myself. Life is full of so many possibilities! 

An Early Christmas Present

I have been working hard lately with my walking. I had been doing thirty minutes in the morning after breakfast while waiting to be able to drink my water. I am learning not to drink thirty minutes before or after I eat in preparation for surgery. I use this time to get my walking in. For the last week or so I have been walking thirty minutes twice a day, though. I am kind of proud of myself. I walk laps around the living room and up and down the hallway. 

I had mentioned to my sister Cindy that after Christmas I was planning on getting a walking pad once I had saved up for it. This morning I got a call from her pretty early. It scared me at first because we are both later risers. She asked what I was doing today and I told her what my plans were for the day. She asked if I could meet her because she wanted to give me my Christmas present early. I thought that was weird but I told her yeah. NOTHING would prepare me for what she brought me. She and Cyndee bought me a walking pad for Christmas! I was so surprised. I am so grateful for it! It was such a generous gift. 

I had my first walk on it tonight. I got the life scared out of me and the kids. I was walking and listening to my music as I do when I walk. The next thing I know Chewy (the dog) jumped on the walking pad with me and ran straight through my legs. I yelled at him. The kids came running. By the time they got to my room, he was on the back of the walking pad walking along with me like he belonged there or something! In hindsight, it is completely funny! During the fact, it scared me pretty bad! Oh the joys!! I do love my new walking pad, though! 

Checking Things Off The List - Psych Eval

 Today was my psych eval. It was what scared me the most. Not because I am crazy, but because, I was worried about the unknown. I didn't know what it would be like. I have never had one before. I worked myself up so much I was nauseated before I went in. This man held my surgery in his hands and I was scared. I assumed the appointment would take an hour. It was a video appointment. I got there ten minutes early. IYKYK. It's just who I am. The doctor was five minutes LATE. My appointment took less than ten minutes once he arrived. It was very short and sweet and to the point. He just wanted to make sure I understood what I was getting into and a bit of my family history. Then, he told me he'd have my approval letter to my bariatric doctor by tomorrow. I couldn't have asked for a better appointment. 

The only things I have left on my "golden ticket" are two more diet visits with my PCP. Then, my file will be submitted for insurance approval. Other than the day-to-day things of dieting I am done with my checklist. I am excited! 

Checking Things Off The List - Turning In Paperwork

 Today started out as a very good day. I took all of my paperwork (so far) to my bariatric doctor's office. I have a couple more diet visits with my primary doctor and my psych visit and I will be officially done with those requirements. I still have two more nurse appointments with the insurance, but nothing to give the doctor for those. Everything from my last three appointments will be faxed to the bariatric doctor. While I was there I asked her what the next steps were and if I needed to make another appointment right now. She said no. After I complete my last diet appointment with my primary doctor in January, the bariatric doctor will submit everything to the insurance company for approval. Once we get that, three things will happen 1) I will get an appointment with a dietician. 2) I will have my pre-op appointment with my doctor. and 3) I will get my surgery date. 

All of these are good things. BUT...I went into this thinking that surgery would be around a certain time. Then the nurse from the insurance company said something about trying to get it done before the end of the year. I knew that probably wouldn't happen, and I was right, so I didn't get my hopes too high for that. I was looking at surgery late January or early February and now I am wondering if that will happen due to everything that needs to happen. I am slightly disappointed that it could possibly be longer than I wanted but it is what it is. I have waited this long and I will wait as long as it takes. Hopefully, it won't take as long as I am thinking. 

Checking Things Off The List - Support Group

 So I have mentioned before I have this list of things that either the insurance company or the doctor require for surgery. Last night, I went to my required support group meeting. I went alone which scared me. I am very much an introvert. I don't like new situations or crowds of people so this was going to be fun. It turned out that it wasn't too bad. I was expecting the typical TV AA meeting where everyone stands up and says "Hello, I am <insert name here> and I am fat.> And while some of the post-op people did tell their stories it wasn't really like that. We had a presentation about avoiding sugar for the holidays and ways to help us do that. It wasn't fun by any means, but it wasn't bad. Given the right circumstances, I could see me doing it again. I do have to do one more meeting post-op, but I could see me going back willingly every now and then. I exchanged numbers with a lady with a story similar to mine. She was a few months post-op and doing well. It was encouraging to me. 

Other than that, we are just traveling right along through the rest of the things. I have almost completed the check list aside from my diet visits. I am excited about that. The diet is going ok. I am struggling with my fluid intake and head hunger but I have stayed within my calories all days except for two. I am food journaling. I hate it, but it is a necessary evil for me. It holds me accountable for my choices. I have exercised every day this month. I am proud of myself. 

Well, I guess that is about all for now. Until next time...

Bye, Bye, Bye

 This post will be short and sweet, but I thought it deserved a post. I said good-bye to my seat belt extender this morning. I can officially fit into a normal seat belt! I am so happy! 

Health Update

 I had my first medically supervised diet visit with my PCP today. If their scales are the same as my bariatric doctor's, I lost SIX POUNDS in one week! I am stoked! God is so good. My blood sugars have been dropping like crazy, though. Sooooooo... He dropped my insulin TWENTY-SIX UNITS and dropped one thousand milligrams of Metformin! Again,,, STOKED!! I will come back and finish my update when I get my lab results.

UPDATED: All labs were good. A1C was 6.3. 

Grocery Shopping

 Grocery shopping... It is something I hate to do for many reasons. I hate how I feel walking through the store. It makes me tired. I hate spending the money. I hate it because I don't make the best choices, even when I go in with the best of intentions. I could go on and on for a while with the reasons I don't want to do it. When I started this journey, I told John that he would have to do the grocery shopping from now on. I have been twice since then. I did my shopping last week after seeing my bariatric doctor, then I went today to shop for the family. While I did make a couple impulse purchases they were healthy ones! I am so grateful to God for His goodness and mercy. Without Him I couldn't do this. 

Lisa

My New Diet

 I haven't posted anything about this yet and I am not sure why. I guess I didn't want to post just to "put something out there." Any way, as part of my insurance requirements for surgery, I have to go on a 3 month medically supervised diet. Dr. W (Bariatrics) put me on a 1200 calorie diet and Dr. D (PCP) will supervise my diet for the 3 months. My first diet appointment is Thursday, but I have been dieting since the first so today is day 5. So far everything is going ok. I am not hungry like I thought I would be. In fact, I am not hungry at all. I eat 3 meals a day. My blood sugar keeps dipping so I am going to have to talk to Dr. D about that. On a different note, I got the clearance I needed from my neurosurgeon for surgery. Thankfully, we are just checking things off the list! 

Mama

November Weigh-Ins

 November Weights

    2 - 274

    9 - 268.8

    16 - 267.4

    23 - 364.4

    30 - 266.2

A New Life

 Today is the start of a new life. Today was full of helpful information and preparation for change. This morning, I met with the phone nurse with our insurance company. She was full of helpful information. I will have a two more appointments with her prior to the surgery and two more after surgery. I have to do a three month diet prior to surgery and have a mental health evaluation. 

This afternoon I met with the surgeon, Dr. W. I went into this appointment so scared. I was afraid that he would deny me care because of my shunt, but he didn't. This was one of the first questions I asked him but he assured me that he thought everything would work out. He wants to have clearance from my neurosurgeon, but other than that we are good. I had lost more weight today which is good. I will not report my weight today because I report that on Saturdays. He put me on a 1200 calorie diet and sent me off with a plan. I did some tests in office and had some bloodwork. 

So here's where we stand right now: My last dietary appointment will be in early January. After my PCP (monitoring my diet) gets the reports back to Dr. W he will submit my entire file to the insurance company. The lady there told me that it takes about 10 business days to receive an approval for surgery. That means we are looking at having surgery late January/ early February! 

There is so much more to expand on but I am going to stop here and unpack that another day. Please pray for me. I am excited and scared all at the same time. I know this journey will not be easy but with God's help I will make it through. I have to. 

Mama

Rewards for Weight Loss Goals

 John and I were talking about rewards for weight loss. For every 50 pounds I lose I get a reward. We decided we would reward at every 50 mark. I have about 35 pounds until my next 50 mark so that is a nice head start, but these are the ideas we were thinking of. 

Rewards For Weight Goals

 250 - Bath and Body Works Lotion

 200 - One Night Hotel Stay

 150 - Goal Weight Trip - We are going to take a nice vacation to celebrate reaching my goal weight. 

(NOTE: After seeing my surgeon and talking with my PCP, they both said they didn't want to see me get to 90-110 lbs so their goal weight for me is around 150. We will see how I feel when I get there.) 

My List...2024 Edition

 My list...

I saw a post on a friend's blog. She got the idea from one of her friends, and I loved it! For every pound lost, give a reason to have lost that pound! Here is my list so far.


1. To live to raise my kids, not just live but be able to have a full life.
2. To be able to get pregnant without fertility drugs, without miscarriage, and without risking my life to do so.
3. To be able to play with my kids without getting out of breath.
4. Sit comfortably without pinching the nerve in my hip.
5. Walk through the pew at church without having to side step
6. Walk a mile without feeling like I'm dying.
7. I want to see my great grandchildren.
8. I want to be proud of myself.
9. I want to believe my husband when he tells me I'm gorgeous and not just believe he's saying because he feels he has to.
10. Not have my legs touch in the middle
11. To walk in a room without feeling everyone is talking about me.
12. To be able to dress up when I go out on a date with my husband.
13. To not die at the age of 61 like my mama did.
14. To avoid all the health problems my mama had.
15. To be a good role model for my children, especially my girls.
16. To get the new wardrobe my sister promised me 20 years ago if I would lose weight. She told me the other day that she still intends to make good on her promise when I lose everything I need too. (220 lbs to go).
17. To be able to use to Wii Fit. My starting weight exceeded the limit.
18. To be able to hug my husband without leaning forward.
19. To be able to be carried over the threshold for my 10th anniversary.
20. To make my mama proud of me.
21. To be able to shop and not pay extra for my clothes.
22. To have ENERGY.
23. To be able to stand and see my legs.
24. To be able to stand and see my toes!
25. To be able to carry my 7 year old without having back pain for the next day.
26. To rid myself of sleep apnea.
27. To learn how to make healthy eating choices.
28. To feel like said healthy eating isn't a punishment.
29. To no longer make excuses for my eating behavior. (working on that one now.)
30. To not get depressed when I food journal.
31. To have a normal BP.
32. To live without diabetes.
33. To go to the doctor without being lectured about losing weight.
34. To go to the beach without feeling like a freak in a bathing suit.
35. To be able to ride an airplane for the first time without needing 2 seats.
36. To be able to reach others and encourage them through their journey as well. If I can do it, ANYONE can.
37. To be able to jump.
38. To run for the first time ever.
39. To be able to fit into jeans again.
40. To be small enough to have a body fat assessment. (Not that I really want/need to know, but I'm currently over the limit for the test. 02/2012)
41. To be able to have a professional massage. (Right now when I lay on my stomach I feel like I'm going to die)
42. To ride bumper boats again.
43. To be able to weigh my toddlers on WiiFit. (Tried to do this the other day and our combined weight was too much!)
44. To no longer be the fat girl.
45. To have a lap again. (Currently my kids sit on my belly)
46. To be able to carry two of my children at one time.
47. To carry my children without my back hurting.
48. To stand through praise and worship without my back hurting.
49. To be able to make two meals out of ONE restaurant meal and still feel full.
50. To be more outgoing.
51. To walk instead of waddle.

52. When I die, I want to be able to have a normal coffin and not need 12 men to carry it.

53. 2024 - Here we are years later. To be a healthy role model for my teenage daughters.

54. To rid myself of the medicines I take.

55. <this one is private>

56. To make my husband proud of me. 

57. To be able to cross my legs

58. To one day lose my handicap placard.

59. To one day not need the motorized scooter through Sam's Club.

60. To love myself.

61. To be able to sit in a booth again.

62. To be able to get out of the floor when I sit down.

63. To live to meet my children's future spouses.

64. To sit comfortably at the theater.

65. To outlive my Bonus Dad

66. To outlive my siblings (they are all older than me).

67. To live longer than my Dad did.

68. To drive without the steering wheel touching my body.

69. To weigh less than my kids. (I am shorter than they are so my BMI should be less than theirs.)

70. To have my husband be able to pick me up.

71. To weigh less than I did when I got married (220lbs).

72. To no longer being the "Fat Girl"

73. To make my kids proud of me. 

74. To get rid of my seatbelt extender

75. To go to Disney World and be able to enjoy myself.

76. To know that I was (with God's help) strong enough to get healthy.

77. To enjoy my life more.

78. To no longer need a cardiologist.

79. To take up new hobbies.

80. Saying good-bye to my seatbelt extender today! 

(To be Cont.)

Blessings,

Weight Loss Mama

Updated Goals List

This is a copy of my original goals list.  I am reposting them with where I am now.

This is a list of my misc. goals divided into categories. I completed my first update to my goals list. I added more entries to my fitness goals list because I had completed ALL of them. What an accomplishment!! Here's to marking off more goals next time.

(Current weight: 302 lbs, Total Loss: 58 lbs - March 2012)

Weight Goals0

1. MET - Lose 5 lbs (5/2011)
2. MET - Lose 10% of my original weight - 36 lbs (1/2012)
3. MET - Lose 50 lbs (2/2012)
4. MET - Lose 20% of my original weight - 72 lbs (2024)
5. MET - Lose 75 lbs (9/2024)

6. Lose 100 lbs

7. Lose 30% of my original weight - 108 lbs
8. Lose 125 lbs. - That will be a whole person!
9. Lose 40% of my original weight - 144 lbs
10. Lose 150 lbs
11. Lose 175 lbs
12. Lose 50% of my original weight - 180 lbs
13. Lose 200 lbs
14. Lose 60% of my original weight - 216 lbs
15. Lose 225 lbs
16. Lose 250 lbs (That's two whole people!)
17. Lose 70% of my original weight - 252 lbs
18. Lose 260 lbs.

Clothing Size Goals

Shirts

1. MET: 3XL shirts (2/2012) 
2. 2XL shirts
3. 1XL shirts
4. Large shirts
5. Medium shirts

Skirts

22/24 pants/skirts
20 pants/skirts
18 pants/skirts
16 pants/skirts
14 pants/skirts

(We will see where this gets me and modify this list from there.)


Health Goals

1. Normal BP
2. Consistent Normal Blood Sugar 
3. Normal Periods
4. Pregnancy


Fitness goals

1. Be able to walk without getting blisters on my feet (1/2012)
2. Be able to walk 2 miles without feeling like I'm dying. (2/2012)
3. Be able to walk 2.5 MPH - 2.4 most of my walk now (1/2012)
4. Be able to walk 2.5 miles (3/2012)
5. Be able to walk 3 miles in an hour or less (3/2012) 
6. Be able to walk 4 miles.
7. Be able to complete my workout at no less than 3 MPH except for cool down.
8. Be able to complete my workout at no less than 3.5 MPH except for cool down.
9. Be able to complete my workout at no less than 4 MPH except for cool down.
10. Be able to RUN a half mile.
11. Be able to RUN a mile.
12. Be able to RUN 2 miles.
13. Be able to RUN 3 miles.
14. Be able to RUN 4 miles.
15. Be able to RUN 5 miles.
16. Complete a Diabetes support race.


Misc. Goals

1. MET - Be able to wear seatbelt in vehicle. (3/2012) 
2. Sit in vehicle without my stomach touching the steering wheel
3. Be able to ride bumper boats again
4. Be able to hug my husband without leaning forward. ;-)


(Created: 1/5/12)
(Last Update: 10/27/24)

Just Putting This Out There

 For the last several years, I have toyed with the idea of weight loss surgery. In fact, almost sixteen years ago, shortly after my mom passed I attended a seminar for said surgery. I found out that I would need to have the most drastic surgery because of my weight at the time. It scared the life right out of me so I left and didn't go back. It has always been in the back of my mind but I have always been too scared. The last couple months, though, have been different. I have thought about it more seriously. Today, I woke up and had a Come-to-Jesus meeting with my husband about everything and decided to look into everything again. 

I spent the day talking to my insurance company. I found out that they require I have a psychological evaluation as well as 3 months of medically supervised dieting. That is really it from them. I found out that there are two offices that are approved through our insurance and toyed with them all day and finally picked one based on a couple things. I did a web-seminar through them today. Then, I filled out all of my medical history paperwork through them. Now, I am waiting on a phone appointment with a nurse through my insurance company that will happen first thing Monday morning. After that, I just wait for the clinic to call me with an appointment to meet with the surgeon. 

How am I feeling? I am scared out of my wits. This is scary. It is scary to have my body sliced and diced all for a chance that this will work. I am scared this WON'T work. After all, everything else up to this point has failed. Why should this work? I am scared that this WILL work. I have been the fat person my entire life. Well, I am sure there was a point in my childhood when I wasn't fat, but even in my earliest memories I was the fat kid. Who will I be if I am not her? Am I strong enough physically to make it through this journey? Well, I know the answer is no, but in my weakness He will be my strength. Am I emotionally/spiritually strong enough to make it through this journey? Again, I do not know. What I do know is that what I am doing is NOT working and I want to live a life worthy of living. I want to see grandbabies and great grands. I want to travel with my husband. I want to live life well instead of just surviving. Financially, this is scary. The surgery and post surgery journey is not cheap. I am looking at ways to make it more affordable so if you are reading this and have any ideas please let me know. Insurance only pays a portion of the surgery. There are also post surgery fees through the clinic. It's all a lot to take in. It is scary, but the will of God won't lead me where the grace of God can't keep me, right? 

If you have read this far - thank you! My blogs are usually a jumbled mess and this one was no different. Please pray for my next steps if you are the praying type. I appreciate you. Maybe Mama really will lose it one day...Just maybe.

Mama

Weigh-In Month 11 Weight Update

 I have gotten behind on updating my weight each week so I am just going to do a catch up post here. Because of the Mounjaro shortage, the doctor has dropped my dosage from 12.5 to 7.5 because that is what my pharmacy had at the time. Every other dosage higher than that was on backorder. I have noticed a huge difference in my appetite control. It is almost non-existent. My blood sugar levels aren't as tightly controlled either. I guess we will see what my next round of bloodwork shows. 

June

    8 - 277.6

    15- 282.2

    22 - 274.6

    29 - 276.6

July

    6 - 270

    13 - 267

    20 - 272.4

    27 - 273.6

August

    3 -276

    10 - 275.2

    17 - 278.4

    24 - 274.8

September

    7 - 276.8 

    14 - 274.8

    21 - 281.6

    28 - 280.6

October

    5 - 273.4

August A1C Update

 A1C was 6.1 this time! 

Weigh-In Month Seven Week Four

 Highest Weight (2012) - 360

Mounjaro Starting Weight - 313.2

Current Weight - 274

Goal Weight - 100

Weigh-In Month Seven Week Three

  Highest Weight (2012) - 360

Mounjaro Starting Weight - 313.2

Current Weight - 282.6

Goal Weight - 100

Health Update

 After spending a lot of time stressing about my stress test and then the heart cath, everything came back almost clean. I have a 20-30% blockage in one of my arteries which the cardiologist says he is not worried about at this time. 

A1C - 6.2

Weigh-In Month Seven Week Two

 Highest Weight (2012) - 360

Mounjaro Starting Weight - 313.2

Current Weight - 282

Goal Weight - 100

My appetite seemed more controlled this week after injecting in my hip last week so I am going to try it again this week. We will see if it was a fluke or if it actually helped.

Weigh-In Month Seven Week One

   Highest Weight (2012) - 360

Mounjaro Starting Weight - 313.2

Current Weight - 288

Goal Weight - 100

Took today's shot in hip. Wondering if it will make a difference in hunger and weight loss. 

Weigh-In Month Six Week Four

  Highest Weight (2012) - 360

Mounjaro Starting Weight - 313.2

Current Weight - 293

Goal Weight - 100

Weigh-In Month Six Week Three

 Highest Weight (2012) - 360

Mounjaro Starting Weight - 313.2

Current Weight - 289.2

Goal Weight - 100

Weigh-In Month Six Week Two

 Highest Weight (2012) - 360

Mounjaro Starting Weight - 313.2

Current Weight - 289.8

Goal Weight - 100

Weigh-In Month Six Week One

Highest Weight (2012) - 360

Mounjaro Starting Weight - 313.2

Current Weight - 285.6

Goal Weight - 100

Weigh-In Month Five Week Four

Highest Weight (2012) - 360

Mounjaro Starting Weight - 313.2

Current Weight - 280.0

Goal Weight - 100

I have officially lost a total of 80 pounds from my highest weight!! 

Weigh-In Month Five Week Three

  Highest Weight (2012) - 360

Mounjaro Starting Weight - 313.2

Current Weight - 286.8

Goal Weight - 100

Scary Stuff

Waiting in the Water By The Isaacs 

A helpless man blind from birth

The only one who saw his worth

Didn't pass him by, He heard his cry

He rubbed his eyes with a handful of clay
Then He said, "Go wash in the pool today"
And the blind man knew that's what he had to do

You know along the way
He couldn't help but trip and fall
Each time he got back up
I wonder if he thought

Every step I take is a step in faith
When I can't see what's in front of me
I'll walk on and just believe
He hears my prayer

And when I get there
The miracle promised by my father
Is waiting in the water

I've walked in darkness, I won't lie
Just like that blind man sometimes
I've felt all alone, like all hope was gone

I know that His word is true
And no matter what I'm going through
He promised me that He would never leave

I know along the way
I may stumble and I may fall
But I'll make it to the water
Even if I have have to crawl

Every step I take is a step of faith
When I can't see what's in front of me
I'll walk on and just believe
He hears my prayer

And when I get there
The miracle promised by my father
Is waiting in the water

I know He knows where I am
And somehow this is all in His plan
So until my healing comes
I'll keep pressing on

Every step I take is a step of faith
When I can't see what's in front of me
I'll walk on and just believe
He hears my prayer

And when I get there
The miracle promised by my father
Is waiting in the water

This is going to be a long blog and for that I apologize. I am not sure it makes a difference because I am still not sure I am going to share this one with anyone. Still, I try to keep my health updates posted here and so that is what I am doing. 

It has been a long week. But to explain that, I have to go back a few years. When I was first diagnosed with anxiety, I had several visits to the ER with bouts of chest pain. I honestly thought I was having a heart attack, because (as a person who has never had a heart attack can say) that is what it felt like. I had a stress test at that time and all was clear. I can say that not all of my anxiety attacks feel this way, but some of them do. Because I have been conditioned by doctors and myself I have come to say that all chest pain that I have is nothing but anxiety. 

That brings me to the semi-present. About six weeks ago, I woke up in the middle of the night with chest pain. I didn't feel particularly anxious at that point, but I assumed that was what it was. The pain eventually left so I went back to sleep. Over the course of the day, the pain came and went. Eventually it started wrapping around my left shoulder. It left, but came back. I casually mentioned something to my husband around 11 AM and he flipped out. He wanted to take me to the ER but I refused. I was NOT going to sit at the ER for an anxiety attack. He wasn't happy but he went to work. (DISCLAIMER: For those reading this, he works from home.) He checked on me on his first break. The pain was still coming and going. I told him if I was still feeling like this by his lunch break I would consider going to the ER. On his lunch break, I wasn't feeling any better so I called my friend Stephanie to get her opinion. Surely, she would side with me. She didn't... Off to the ER we went.

When I got to the ER, they got me registered and had me to sit down. I was triaged and had an EKG. Once they saw I wasn't having a heart attack I became just a number and sent to wait. Stephanie sent me to our best ER and they were incredibly busy that day so I waited for about 6 hours before I got  a room. In that time the doctor had ordered a couple more EKGs, repeat labs, a chest x.ray, etc. Long story short was that I wasn't having a heart attack, but he wanted me to follow up with my doctor to get a referral for a stress test to make sure all was ok. And that is where my long week started.

If you have read any of my blogs recently, or know me personally, you know that I am 250+ pounds. (I almost put 300+. I no longer have to write that! Yay!) I had been using the elliptical but fell off the wagon. There is no way I could walk on a treadmill long enough to pass a stress test and I told Stephanie this. She told me there was a chemical stress test they could do if I requested it. I talked to my primary doctor about it when he referred me to the cardiologist. Then I talked to the cardiologist. That is what was scheduled. I left the initial appt with the cardiologist with (take note because this is semi important) the stress test info and an appt to follow up with the cardiologist a month after my stress test. I went home and proceeded to freak out. I was scared of having a heart attack during the test. 

The morning of the test came and I was still very scared. God blessed me with a nice Christian gentleman who was very reassuring that everything would be ok. He tried his best to distract me through the process. He also made sure I knew what was he was doing with each step. The test was a lengthy process. First, I had an IV and had some radioactive meds injected. I had some scans 45 minutes later. Then the actual stress test. Then more radioactive meds. Forty-five more minutes of waiting then more scans. I left the test feeling pretty confident because I didn't have a heart attack. Now, the waiting for the results began. 

The next day, I was out doing some things with  my daughters and my phone rang. I get a lot of spam calls so I don't answer numbers I don't know. This one left a message so I checked it. It was my cardiologist office. I think my heart stopped for a moment. I knew in that moment that things weren't good. I called the lady back and she informed me that the doctor wanted me to come in that afternoon to be seen for the results of my stress test. I didn't know what was going on but I knew it wasn't good. Remember when I said my follow-up appt was in a month? Yeah... The only thing they would tell me over the phone was that my stress test results were abnormal. I started freaking out internally (my girls were with me remember)... We head home. I called John and after some discussion we decided he would go with me just in case they admitted me. I made a couple other phone calls and interrupted people during their lunch, doctor's appt, etc. Leave it to little sisters to cause problems. 😜

The PA explained that stress tests either rule out that there are problems or that there could be potential problems. My test showed that there COULD be blockages.   So I have won an expenses paid (by my insurance company and me) trip to our local hospital for a heart cath in about three weeks. They sent me home and told me to take it easy and try to remain as stress free as possible. Sure! I am 40 years old, with an anxiety disorder, being faced with a lot of potentially scary stuff. Relaxing should be a piece of cake! 

I am trying to remind myself of God's promises. It is harder at sometimes than others, I am just trying to get through the next couple weeks, though. I know God has this. None of this has surprised Him. 

If you have read this novel of a blog, God bless you. I would appreciate your prayers. I am sure I will update when I have more info.

Weigh-In Month Five Week Two

 Highest Weight (2012) - 360

Mounjaro Starting Weight - 313.2

Current Weight - 292

Goal Weight - 100

Month Five Week One

 Highest Weight (2012) - 360

Mounjaro Starting Weight - 313.2

Current Weight - 283.2

Goal Weight - 100

Weigh-In Month Four Week Four

I gained this week. I took my first 12.5mg shot.

 Highest Weight (2012) - 360

Mounjaro Starting Weight - 313.2

Current Weight - 289.6

Goal Weight - 100

Weigh-In Month Four Week Three

No loss or gain this week. 

 Highest Weight (2012) - 360

Mounjaro Starting Weight - 313.2

Current Weight - 288.2  

Goal Weight - 100

Weigh-In Month Four Week Two

 Highest Weight (2012) - 360

Mounjaro Starting Weight - 313.2

Current Weight - 288.2

Goal Weight - 100

Weigh-In Month Four Week One

 I started on the 10 mg this week. I also had my first follow up with my doctor. It went well. I am looking forward to seeing what my labs show. 

ETA: Labs were all great. A1C was 6.1!

 

Highest Weight (2012) - 360

Mounjaro Starting Weight - 313.2

Current Weight - 292.6

Goal Weight - 100

Weigh-In Month Three Week Four

Highest Weight (2012) - 360

Mounjaro Starting Weight - 313.2

Current Weight - 293

Goal Weight - 100

Weigh-In Month Three Week Three

 Highest Weight (2012) - 360

Mounjaro Starting Weight - 313.2

Current Weight - 299

Goal Weight - 100

Weigh-In Month Three Week Two

Highest Weight (2012) - 360

Mounjaro Starting Weight - 313.2

Current Weight - 299.6

Goal Weight - 100

Weigh-In Month Three Week One

 Highest Weight (2012) - 360

Mounjaro Starting Weight - 313.2

Current Weight - 301.8

Goal Weight - 100

Weigh-in, Month Two, Week 4

 Today is weigh in day as Saturday always is. This was my last week on 5 mg. I start my 7.5mg shot today. I lost a little. Though, not as much as I had hoped. My blood sugar keeps dropping so I have to keep treating that. My work outs are going ok. I still haven't broken the three minute mark, but I have done them every day. For that I am proud of myself. I guess that is about all for this week. 

Highest Weight (2012) - 360

Mounjaro Starting Weight - 313.2

Current Weight - 298.8

Goal Weight - 100

First Work Out

 I wasn't even going to post this because it is embarrassing. I did my first "work out," if you can even call it that, on the elliptical since restarting my fitness journey. When I used it before, I could go an hour or more. I wasn't foolish enough to believe I could just pick up there because it's been years since I did that. This morning I got on and was able to do less than 2 minutes. My goal was 5 minutes. So I was determined I would do 5 minutes today. This evening I got back on. I made it 4.5 minutes and then I fell off the machine as I was getting off. It wasn't my finest moment. I scared myself. I scared my son. I scared my husband when I told him about it and I cried...a lot. Not because I was hurt. The only thing that got hurt was my pride. I am just having a rough weight loss/fitness week. Here's hoping it gets better. 

Weigh-in, Month Two, Week 3

 Today is weigh-in day. This week was a huge failure. I am completely disappointed in myself. I hope next week is better. This is my last week on Mounjaro 5 mg. I will increase next week. 

Highest Weight (2012) - 360

Mounjaro Starting Weight - 313.2

Current Weight - 300.6

Goal Weight - 100