Today has been a very hard day. I have done all the things. The walking pad was the first thing I did this morning. I have been doing a full hour the last couple days. I have been drinking my water. (Thank God for flavor packets!) I have had my meals and stayed within my calories. I can check all the boxes, but I am struggling emotionally. I cried most of the time I was on the walking pad. Nothing happened...It was just a day where my mind started throwing EVERYTHING at me. I am not losing like I think I should and that is disappointing me. I have lost 7 lbs as of today. I was hoping to have lost my 10 lbs that my bariatric doctor had giving me as my 3 month goal. I know it's only been a month, but I really wanted to see me reach that goal. The first week I lost so much so I thought the other weeks would be the same. I do not want to go back to my bariatric doctor having ONLY lost 10 lbs. I go back to my primary doctor next Friday for my second diet appointment. I am really hoping to have met (surpassed) that 10 lb mark by that point.
So I have spent the day struggling. I have wanted to do nothing more than to get in the van and drive until I outrun the junk that is in my head. However, John works his second job today and he has the van and I am broke so I cannot do what I would do if I had the van. I did the next best thing. I drowned my emotions in a nap and Christmas movies. I watched the newest Grinch movie and a couple Hallmark movies. I cooked lunch and dinner for myself. Tomorrow is a new day and I am sure it will be much better, but today...today has been hard and that is ok.
No comments:
Post a Comment