Wednesday, I went back to the doctor. The anxiety medicine he put me on last month did not help. In fact, it made things worse. I went from feeling anxious to being depressed and couldn't think straight. I was having bad headaches again, especially when I would lay down at night. The cloudy feeling was normal from what I understand. At least, that's what the pharmacist said. Still, it wasn't working for me. I got to the point that I didn't feel safe driving. I was crying a lot, too. He switched my medicine and now I only take it once a day. I am taking it at night so if there's any foggy feeling, I'll sleep through it.
They weighed me at the doctors. I am not happy with the results. I am a stress eater. When the doctors started mentioning things like Congestive Heart Failure, heart problems, and the bad news from the fertility specialist was just enough to make me stop caring. I didn't watch my diet and I haven't worked out in months. That was a recipe for weight gain. Right now, I just feel like I can't get up and go. Hopefully, once my medicine starts to work I will feel more like a human again and can start exercising like I should.
I am forcing myself to slow down and to really pay attention to my body. I am learning some of the triggers of the anxiety. If I can figure them out then I can work on controlling my body's reaction to that stress. It isn't fun worrying about everything and that is where I am right now. I just don't feel like I am good enough to measure up to anyone's standards. I have to stop comparing myself to others if I want to feel better.
Yesterday, I got out of the house for a bit. While I was driving, I heard a sermon on the life of Jesus. The minister was talking about how it is prideful to compare ourselves to others. He said our measuring stick should be Jesus. Are we living up to HIS standard? That really spoke to me. I am trying to remember that when I want to start being so critical on myself.
Blessings,
Weight Loss Mama
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