Six Month Clinic Anniversary

What a difference 6 months makes! I'd been hesitating whether to post a semi-annual update or not, but here I go.  I have lost 38 lbs in the last 6 months.  That may not seem like a lot to some people, but that is huge (no pun intended) for me. My total so far is 72 lbs!! I have went from a 30/32 shirt to a 22/24 shirt.  I have lost inches too. 


More importantly is what I've gained.  I have gained self confidence that I never knew I had.  I have started to love myself a bit more.  I have lost some friendships, but gained new ones.  Life has changed so much and this is only the beginning.  I cannot wait to see what my one year anniversary brings. 


The single most important thing that has happened to me was finding my Dad.  Everything is still so fresh and new with him, but it is wonderful.  I cannot imagine my life without him.  Each conversation brings us closer together.  My heart is healing.  Years of prayers have brought me to the place of my miracle.  If I live a million years it will never be enough time to thank God for giving me a second chance  with my Dad. 


So how about some photos?  



August 2011 - 360 lbs  (Heaviest)

December 2011 - Started Clinic - 326 (down 34 lbs)

June 2012 - 288 (down 72 lbs)



There might be a slight change, huh? ;-)  Here's to the next 72 lbs (and then some!)



Blessings,


Weight Loss Mama

It's Too Hot!

I had a great day with a few bumps in the road. Spent the morning with family running errands. We had lunch out before coming home. 


This afternoon, I called my step mom to ask some questions related to Dad's birthday present.  We had a nice mini conversation before my phone decided to drop the call.  Dad got home right before we got disconnected.  She said "I think your Daddy's home."  Everyone reading this may think I am insane, but I still feel my heart skip a beat when someone calls him my daddy.  I often wonder if the new women in my life know how much their conversations mean to me.  I am sure in their minds, they aren't saying anything special.  If only they knew what their words meant to me.    When I called her back I tried to ask her a few questions and I could tell he was standing there.  I asked her if he was in the room. "Kind of!" is the response I got.  I am sure Dad thought it was weird that I called to talk to her and not to him, though.  Now, I must impatiently wait for us to be able to schedule something.  I long for the days when we don't go 5+ weeks in between visits.  For now, I am thankful for the time we do have together. 


After I finished my shopping I headed to the gym. I went to the gym where I misplaced my hair clip (long hair and working out aren't a good mix), dropped my glasses while on The Beast, then dropped my cell phone in the locker room. The irony of it all was I found my hair clip as I was walking out of the gym. The good news is that glasses are ok.  My phone will be sent next week.


I headed to Lifeway to spend my gift card my sisters got me.  I got some great books that I can't wait to read.  I had a wonderful dinner then headed home.  The kids are now sleeping in their beds.  I think it will be a semi-early night for me too.  This heat is making me super tired.  It was 105 degrees today!  I am ready for that stuff to be over with.  It does make me very thankful I know where I'm going when I leave this earth!!


Blessings,


Weight Loss Mama

Happy Birthday to Me

This day five years ago, I sat in my fertility specialists office waiting for news that we wouldn't be able to try that month.  Later, the nurse called me to tell me I was already pregnant.  Four days later, our dancing was turned to mourning as our miracle made his journey to Heaven.

If it hadn't been for Michael, I wouldn't have the kids I do now.  His death lead us to start foster parenting classes earlier than we had planned.  Would we have had kids? Yes, but it wouldn't have been my babies.  God's timing is amazing.  In a time when I wast questioning everything and thought I would die from the pain I was feeling.  All the while, God was whispering "Hold on.  The pain you feel won't last forever.  I have plans for you that you can't even begin to imagine."  Today as I sit here typing this I look around at my house and I have 5 gorgeous blessings running around teasing each other.  I have seven beautiful blessings in Heaven, too.  I am so blessed. 


I kicked off my birthday celebration a day early.  Yesterday, I left the house by myself to go run some errands by myself.  I had to run to John's work and then to the bank, but the rest of the day was spent doing "fun" stuff.  I went to clinic where I found out about my weight loss.  I went to the gym which made me feel so much better.  I had a wonderful, quiet dinner.  I had a wonderful conversation with Dad.  On the way home I stopped to pick up a treat for the kids. 


This morning I woke up and Liana asked me to help her sing happy birthday to me.  Then, everyone else sang to me.  Liana went to lunch with me.  The afternoon was spent running a couple errands.  I had to pick up the last part of our family picture order.  I'd received a free framed picture, but it wasn't ready when I picked the others up.  The lady who designed it made a beautiful framed collage.


Yesterday,  I found out that Dad's birthday is close to mine.  Our birthdays are 5 days apart.  I set out on a mission to try to figure out what to get him.  This afternoon, I decided to call in reinforcements and contacted my sister S.  She was very helpful.  After I left Walmart, I headed to the Christian Book Store to find a card for him.  Can I just tell you how hard it is to find a card that fits our situation?  If it's not a humorous card then it talks about all of the years we've had together.  I have never been one for humorous cards.  I wanted something that expressed how I felt, but struggled to find something that wouldn't make him feel bad.  I had the same problem searching for a Father's Day Card.  I finally found the perfect one then left.  I made another quick stop  to pick up his present before heading to dinner. 


Dinner was AMAZING! We went to Chili's.  Our favorite server, Mrs. Cheryl waited on us.  She is one of the most amazing ladies I know.  She's so kind and patient with my children.  Of course, the way to this mama's heart is to be nice to my children.  Cindy, Cyndee, Kathy and Paul (siblings) joined us for dinner.  I am thankful I got to spend time with them. 


As we were getting ready to leave, I ran into a dear friend.  I hadn't seen her in a long time.  I am thankful that God brought us together tonight.  If I had a list of people I wanted to see on my birthday, she'd definitely be on it. 


I am so blessed with all of the wonderful people God has surrounded me with.  This day was as close to perfect as it could get.  The only things that would've made it better would've been to see my parents today.  I am thankful for all the birthdays I got to spend with Mama.  I am thankful that in a few days I will get to celebrate Father's Day/ My Birthday/ Dad's birthday with my Dad this year.  I pray we have many more years to celebrate special days. 


Thank you to all of my friends and family who made this day amazing.  I love each and every one of you.  May God bless you for your kindness.


Blessings,


Weight Loss Mama

June's Photos

Here is the progress photos for June.  72 lbs gone!!

June's Weigh-In

So even though I won't have an official clinic report until next month, I measured and weighed  myself so I could post this month's progress report.  I have officially met my goal of 20% weight loss!

Date: June 25, 2012

Weight: 288

Resting Heart Rate (See below for instructions): 84

Circumference Measurements (See below for instructions):

Neck: 16.5 inch

Waist: 57.5 inch

Hips: 63.5 inch

Thigh: 49.5 inch

Chest: 50 inch

 

 

 

A Birthday Gift Like No Other

I cannot think of a better way to end year 28 than the way I spent my day.  This morning I got up and made my way to get Isaiah's hair cut.  He behaved so well.  He even got a sucker.  The lady that cut his hair did a fantastic job.  Having his hair cut always makes him little like such a big boy, though. *sniff* Afterwards I dropped him off with Daddy.


I made a stop by the clinic to get my shot for the week.  To be very honest, I expected a gain this time.  I hadn't been watching my diet as close as I should have, and I kept having dreams about stepping on the scales and gaining 10 lbs! It terrified me.  I was so surprised when I seen the number I did that I made the nurse come out and look at it.  She's new at the clinic and thought I didn't know how to read the scale.  I had to explain to her that I knew how to read the scale, but I couldn't believe what it said.    288!!! WoW!!! I have officially lost 20% of my original weight.  I can't believe I finally got there. I haven't been this small since before we started fertility treatments.


After I left the clinic, I headed to the gym.  I did 30 minutes on TB, took a hot shower.  I was pleasantly surprised to see that my bleeding had slowed waaaaaaaaaaaay down! My day just kept getting better.


Dad's photo album some how got damaged so I had to run to Knoxville to get him another one.  I picked up Amy Clipston's new book to celebrate my weight loss goal.  She is one of my favorite authors so I cannot wait to crack open this book.


I finished my night by going to Altrudas for dinner.  I had a wonderful salad and rolls covered in tons of garlic.  It was amazing!!!


The last time I talked to Dad, he'd asked me to call him when I got back from vacation so we could schedule a time to get together.  I didn't pay any attention to the fact that today was Wednesday so I called him. I am almost positive I made him late for church tonight, but we talked for a while.  We had a wonderful conversation.  He wished me happy birthday.  He had no idea how much that meant to me.  I've spent years waiting to hear those words come from his mouth.  I started tearing up when he said it.  (side note: While I am normally an emotional person, I will be glad when my hormones settle down.  I am crying at the silliest stuff.)  I asked him to look at his calendar and let me know what day would be good to get together.  He said we'd talk in a few days and schedule something.  He sounded like he looked forward to talking to me again.  Small steps, small progress.  He gave me such a great present.  I am so thankful that God brought this man into my life. 


When Dad's wife answered the phone, she told  me his birthday is next week.  Now I get the pleasure of playing detective to find out what he wants for his birthday without asking him...I think I will call his wife tomorrow to get some ideas.  I am glad that the timing worked out so we wouldn't have to miss another birthday.  Twenty-eight years of birthdays were too many for us to miss.  I won't let one day go by that I don't celebrate this incredible miracle God has given me.  If He hadn't then I would've never been able to know this wonderful man. What a great start to my birthday!  I couldn't ask for anything more. 




Blessings,


Weight Loss Mama

When Sleep Abandons, You Blog

It is almost 5 AM.  The last couple weeks I haven't had any trouble sleeping, but I have been wake more tonight than I have been asleep.  The kids were asleep by 9:30 tonight.  I suddenly realized that I hadn't eaten all day long so I sent John to the local deli to get me a wrap.  It was good, but I had to force myself to eat it. 


Before we left last week, I made sure I remembered to pack my meds.  I knew I would forget to take them with  me.  I took them the first couple days I was there, but then I forgot after that.  I wouldn't remember to take my weight loss drugs until it was late afternoon and by then it was too late.  I also didn't make the healthiest choices while I was gone. Although, the choices I made were far better than the ones I would've made last year. 


I haven't been to clinic to weigh for June.  I was due to go back two weeks ago, but because we were supposed to be in Florida they increased the amount of pills I got so I would have enough to cover me the extra two weeks.  As of right now, I still have just over a week of meds left so I won't have an official weigh in for June.  To be honest with you, though, I am scared to death to step on the scales.  I have been more lax with everything this  month.  We ate out as a family more than we should have.  As of right now as long as it's a loss then I will be happy with that.  I did some measurements in hopes to calm the freaking out I was doing.  I have lots inches this month so the scales can't be too mean to me. ;-)


The challenges I will face in the next week are huge.  Thursday is my birthday.  We are going out to eat at Chili's.  Even though I know I need to get more strict with my diet again, I have given myself permission not to count calories that day.  My birthday is always very difficult for me.  It marks the half-anniversary of Mom's death.  As of 2007 it became one of the most bittersweet days of the year for me.  Five years ago, I spent my birthday sitting in the fertility specialist's office waiting to hear the bad news that we couldn't try this month because I had been spotting for two weeks.  She did an ultrasound to check for egg growth then sent me out to have bloodwork done.  Later that afternoon, the nurse called me to tell me I was pregnant.  Talk about a birthday surprise!  John and I were both over the moon.  We spent 4 perfect days in glorious bliss.  I went back in on Monday to have more labs drawn to find out that my world had crashed.  My precious baby boy was now dead. 


Out of all of my miscarriages, Michael's death hit me the hardest.  It's not that I love him more.  I think it's because we were going through treatments and I was more aware of everything.  We had our hearts completely invested, but at the same time he was a total surprise.  We were sure that God was finally going to allow our dreams to come true.  Now, I realize that He did allow our dreams to come true.  It's taken me almost 5 years to get to this place where I see things through my Father's eyes.  God didn't bless us with pregnancies to "take" them from us.  He didn't give us our angels and change His mind.  They each had a purpose and they lived out that purpose without ever having to touch the earth.  He chose to give us 7 precious gifts that were never meant to take one breath this side of Heaven.  They were always meant to be Heavenly treasures.


This year I am determined to focus on happy, positive thoughts and not allow myself to sink into the depression that is my usual gift to myself.  My angels don't want me sad and depressed.  They want me happy because when I am filled with joy then I am willing to do what I need to get healthy.  My angels always stay close to my thoughts. They are never far from my mind, but I am more at peace with our temporary seperation than I was at this point last year.


Later this week, I am going to call Dad to schedule a visit.  I put the finishing touches on his photo album last night.  As I sat there looking at the picture of the two of us together, I was in awe.  Both of us could've went the rest of our lives without knowing each other.  God didn't have to answer the prayers of a woman with such brokeness, but He did.  Dad didn't have to embrace me, but he did.  I finally understand that look that I see in my daughters' eyes when they see Daddy walk through the door every day. 


If you'd asked me last year what I thought 28 would hold for me, I would've never imagined this.  Two adoptions, two miscarriages, facing death, deciding to live, losing 70 lbs, meeting my dad and one of my siblings, being able to talk to another one...My Father loves me so much that He would move earth to bless me. My Dad has embraced me in a way I never thought he would. My husband has been so supportive of me.  My children are a present that I open daily.  I never know what each day will bring, but even on the most challenging days I wouldn't trade this life God has given me for all the world has to offer.  Why would I when I am already the richest woman alive?



Blessings,

Weight Loss Mama