Bad Days, Depression and Other Ramblings

I have been blessed to have some really good days lately. There have been some really bad struggles, but all in all it had been good.  Almost two weeks ago  my wallet, including a tidy sum of cash, was stolen from Wal-mart while we were shopping. I freaked out at first. I quickly realized it was one of those situations where I just had to trust God. I had no other choice. My brother suggested starting a gofundme account. While all of the money didn't get replaced, I am pleased to say, thanks to my generous friends and family, that we recovered almost half of what was taken. I was fully experiencing the feeling of being held in the arms of Jesus. Until...

For people who suffer from depression, you can feel really good one day/moment and the next is something completely different. This morning was a perfect example of that. I woke up this morning wanting to do nothing other than get out of the house for a bit. John had things he needed to do, though so I stayed. Once he had completed what he needed to do, he offered me a few minutes out of the house before he had to leave for work, but I chose to stay home. 

There are so many things going through my mind and my heart today that it is just weighing on me. Some of the things are things I can control/fix and others are completely out of my control, but plague me nonetheless. So I sit here just doing my best to fight off the feelings of the impending panic attack my body seems intent on having and counting down the hours until I can unwind with a bit of tv before I go to sleep. 

Mama