January Weigh-Ins

 January Weigh-Ins

    4 - 258.4

    11 -261.8

    18 - 260.0

    25 - 260.2

Three Hours

 I did it. I decided to pump it up and see what I can do in the next week before I go back to the doctor. I did three hours on the walking pad today! I am very sore but it was worth it. I do not know if I can do that again but I am proud of myself for the goals I accomplished today! 

2025

 I am not a person who makes New Year's Resolutions, but I have been thinking about what the coming year will bring. Where will I be this time next year? What will the new year bring? Will I crush my goals? Sometimes I think I will rock this weight loss surgery. Other times - I feel like this will be another failed attempt in my endless list of attempts to get healthy. (Just being  honest here.) I am in a weird place right now. I feel like I am in a holding pattern right now. 2024 has brought a few changes... more than a few really. 2025 will be bringing so many more, though. I am hoping they are all good changes. My head is full of thoughts tonight but I cannot seem to get them out so I guess I will end this blog post here. 

A Year In Books 2025

 Each year I make a blog post to keep track of the books I have read that year. My goal this year is going to be 52 books. 

1. A Groom for Willow By Patricia PacJac Carroll
2. Allison By Kirsten Osbourne
3. A Groom For Charity By Shonda Fischer
4. A Groom for Fancy By Christine Sterling
5. Adele's Decision By Amelia C. Adams
6. Katie's Conundrum By Lynn Donovan
7. Christina's Crusade By Amelia C. Adams
8. Eliza's Longing By Laura D Bastian
9. Annie's Endeavor By Cyndi Raye
10. Saving Savannah By Laura D. Bastian
11. Callie's Calamity By Jaclyn Hardy
12. Mary Hannah's Misgivings By Lynn Donovan
13. Starla's Search By Cat Cahill
14. Holly's Hallmark By Marlene Bierworth
15. Grace's Gift By Julia Ridgmont 
16. Carrianne's Debacle By Charlene Raddon
17. Brandy's Bluff By Heather Blanton
18. Vesper's Violin By R.L. Ashly
19. Samantha's Sorrow By Jaclyn Hardy
20. Bernie's Banjo By R.L. Ashly
21. Willow's Weeping By Laura Walker
22. Highland Heart By Kirsten Osbourne
23. Mail Order Mukluks By Kirsten Osbourne
24. Mail Order Mittens By Kirsten Osbourne
25. Highland Home By Kirsten Osbourne
26. Mail Order Melt By Kirsten Osbourne
27. The Trapper's Bride By Christine Sterling
28. Forever Family By Christine Sterling
29. The Pinkerton Matchmaker By Christine Sterling
30. An Agent for Claudette By Christine Sterling
31. An Agent for Penelope By Christine Sterling
32. An Agent for Marianne By Christine Sterling
33. An Agent for Pearl By Christine Sterling
34. A Cowboy for Christmas By Christine Sterling
35. A Mother for Christmas By Christine Sterling
36. A Bride for Jeremiah By Christine Sterling
37. A Bride for Elijah By Christine Sterling
38. Mail Order Mountains By Kirsten Osbourne
39. A Bride for Benjamin By Christine Sterling

Month One Officially Over

 Month one is officially over...and I am frustrated. I wanted to lose the entire ten pounds that my bariatric doctor has requested of me. According to my scales at home I was pretty close to meeting that goal. Then, today, I went to my PCP for my second diet visit and found out that according to THEIR scales, I lost TWO POUNDS the entire month. I am frustrated and heartbroken. My doctor was so kind and reassuring. He said he was proud of me when I vented to him. I am on a 1200 calorie diet that I have followed every day minus a couple days. I have walked at least 30 minutes every single day and it's been an entire hour for the last two plus weeks. I am now drinking 140oz + of water a day. I am at a loss for what more I can do. So we are playing with my meds now. He has taken me completely off the Metformin. He also increased my dose of Mounjaro to 15mg. He promised me we would get the to the 10 lb mark that my bariatric doctor has requested of me before this is all said and done. I picked up the new dose of Mounjaro on the way home. I will start it on Saturday because that is my shot day. Here's hoping month two will be better. 

Hard Days

 Today has been a very hard day. I have done all the things. The walking pad was the first thing I did this morning. I have been doing a full hour the last couple days. I have been drinking my water. (Thank God for flavor packets!) I have had my meals and stayed within my calories. I can check all the boxes, but I am struggling emotionally. I cried most of the time I was on the walking pad. Nothing happened...It was just a day where my mind started throwing EVERYTHING at me. I am not losing like I think I should and that is disappointing me. I have lost 7 lbs as of today. I was hoping to have lost my 10 lbs that my bariatric doctor had giving me as my 3 month goal. I know it's only been a month, but I really wanted to see me reach that goal. The first week I lost so much so I thought the other weeks would be the same. I do not want to go back to my bariatric doctor having ONLY lost 10 lbs. I go back to my primary doctor next Friday for my second diet appointment. I am really hoping to have met (surpassed) that 10 lb mark by that point. 

So I have spent the day struggling. I have wanted to do nothing more than to get in the van and drive until I outrun the junk that is in my head. However, John works his second job today and he has the van and I am broke so I cannot do what I would do if I had the van. I did the next best thing. I drowned my emotions in a nap and Christmas movies. I watched the newest Grinch movie and a couple Hallmark movies. I cooked lunch and dinner for myself. Tomorrow is a new day and I am sure it will be much better, but today...today has been hard and that is ok. 

December Weigh-Ins

 December Weigh-Ins

    7 - 262.6

    14 - 265.8

    21 - 263.2

    28 - 266.2