Saturday, October 18, 2025

Honeymoon Phase or Not?

 I have blogged a bit about how things have been going with the Phentermine, but I thought some stuff deserved it's own space so here we go. 

Since starting this medication I have had a brighter outlook on life. I am on antidepressants, but my dosage hasn't changed so I do not think that is it. I feel so much better mentally, physically and emotionally. Sleep has been an issue with the medication, but I can deal with that (so far).

I am still having pretty good appetite control. I am eating smaller portions. I am exercising most days. A couple days some things came up that couldn't be avoided that prevented me from walking, but otherwise I have been on the walking pad every day this week. 

As if news couldn't get better than all of this - I went to log my weight for this week. I was down 6.6 pounds!! I cannot tell you when I have done that ever! I don't think I have lost that in a month's time since I started my surgical weight loss journey! I am so excited! I am proud of myself and thankful to God for this progress! 

Wednesday, October 15, 2025

Phentermine - Day 2

 The morning started very, very early today. I only slept about 4.5ish hours last night. By 5 AM I was up for the day. I haven't even been able to take a nap. I definitely feel more energy than usual. My appetite control is good. I feel good physically. I did an hour on the walking pad. I did strength training again today also. Emotionally, I feel good too. The only down side, I lost less than half a pound today. I don't know why but I expected more. I have weight loss goals for this month and I am afraid I will not make those goals. Of course these are self-imposed goals. The clinic didn't set goals for me for this month. All in all it has been a good day and it's not over yet. I have therapy tomorrow. Hopefully, that will go well. 

Tuesday, October 14, 2025

Day 1 - Phentermine

 Today, I got up and took my first dose of Phentermine. I wasn't sure what to expect. Would I react like last time (very hyper, barely able to eat, etc) or would it do nothing for me? First of all, it did give me more energy, but I wouldn't say I was hyper. 

My appetite wasn't GONE, but it was pretty well controlled. For breakfast I had a protein shake. For lunch I made heart of palm spaghetti. I was only able to eat about half of my portion. Normally, I would eat it all. Dinner was burgers and fried potatoes. Normally I can eat half a burger. Tonight was no different. Normally, I have Quest chips with it, but I had two bites of potatoes and was full. I could've done without those two bites. By 8'clock, I was hungry so I had the rest of my heart of palm spaghetti. Now, I am done for the day. 

I walked on the walking pad for an hour tonight. Then, I did weights with Isaiah. Not a lot of weights, but it is a start. 

Overall, today was a good great day. I feel so good physically and mentally. I am so grateful to God for a good day. Hopefully tomorrow will be just as good or even better! 

ETA: It is now 3:11AM. I slept about three hours. I have been up over two hours with no more sleep in sight. I am sure it is the Phentermine. Although, I do have trouble sleeping. It isn't usually this bad. It is well worth it if this helps the weight loss, though. 

Monday, October 13, 2025

October Bariatric Appointment - Phentermine

 Today I had what has become my monthly appointment with my bariatric doctor. I met with the PA. She didn't even tell me what I had lost this month, but if my calculations were correct, I believe it was about two pounds. I have brought up the subject of weight loss drugs before several times, but the answer has always been no so I didn't bother this month. Ironically, the first thing she did when she walked in the room was recommend weight loss medication.

Together we made the decision to put me on Phentermine for six months and see if that helps. She said I could only take it for six months so hopefully it helps A LOT and QUICKLY. I am not sure why she said only six months, though. I guess it is just their policy, because I talked with the pharmacist when I picked up my prescription and she said I could take it as long as I needed to. If my bariatric doctor won't prescribe it after the six months and I still need it then I guess we will look into other options. It wasn't covered by my insurance, but thankfully the pharmacy applied a discount code so it was pretty cheap. 

I am pretty excited about this. I have taken it before. If you have been around a while, when I lost the seventy-something pounds before, it was in-part, thanks to Phentermine. I am trying to be cautiously hopeful that this will help me lose the rest of the weight I need to lose. 


Today I weighed in at 215.2...

Sunday, October 5, 2025

October Weigh-Ins

 October Weigh-Ins

    4 - 215.4

    11- 217

    18 - 210.4

    25 -


Monday, September 29, 2025

Annual Eye Exam

 This morning, I had my annual eye exam. I have to go to the eye doctor twice a year, because I have glaucoma. During the winter they just check me out for my glaucoma. In late summer/fall I have a full  glasses prescription exam, too. Everything went well. My pressures were "good" (per doctor). They were 13/15. I am not sure what is normal for a person without glaucoma, but I will take it. I am getting closer to needing bifocals, but I do not need them just yet. He said the longer I can take off my glasses to read the happier I would be so I will go with that. I have spent the day dilated. I am one of the lucky few who stays dilated FOREVER. My appointment was at 8:30 this morning and here I am writing this almost 12 hours later and my eyes are still dilated. So that is it for now. I go back in March to see him again. Hopefully, nothing changes between now and then. 

Wednesday, September 24, 2025

Seven Month Update

 Yesterday was my seven month post-op appointment. I was dreading the appointment because I hadn't been doing my strength training. I was early so I read my book until I was called back. I got on the scale I had lost so that was good. I was prepared for the usual speech of that wasn't enough, though. That didn't happen. The appointment was with the exercise physiologist. I had only seen her one other time. She was so encouraging. She told me the amount of weight I lost was great. It was better than gaining. She said that even though I was only doing cardio, that was more than a lot of people were doing. She set there and gave me percentages and everything. She was impressed that I was going to therapy. It was just an over all breath of fresh air. Now please do not get me wrong, if I need to be fussed at then I want the correction even though correction is painful. However, when all you get is correction, and it seems they only focus on where you are weak or struggling and never praise you, you will definitely get discouraged. This was the appointment I needed to keep me going. Unfortunately, this was my last appointment with her. Unless I "need" her, my program doesn't have any more appointments with her. I will see the nutritionist in December. Those visits are normally virtual visits, but this time she will be in the local office so I will get to see her there. I am looking forward to it/not looking forward to it at the same time. Hopefully we can get some helpful insights. I go back next month to meet with the PA/NP (not sure what she is) so we will see how that goes. I found out yesterday I have lost just over 55 pounds since my first appointment with them and lost 10% of my BMI. I was happy about that! 

Thursday, September 18, 2025

Struggle Day

 Today has been a struggle day. I had therapy yesterday. While there is a lot of things going on in my life outside of therapy, therapy brought up some stuff, too. I have wanted to eat all day long today. Nothing seems like enough. No distraction seems distracting enough. It has just been a struggle day. Hopefully soon, these days will be fewer and farther between, because they really take it out of me. 

Monday, September 8, 2025

So Excited!

 I finally broke 220! I have been in the 220s for what seems like forever. I stepped on the scale yesterday morning and I weighed 219.8. I wanted to post but I figured it was a fluke. I was getting ready for church and forgot to weigh before I took my clothes off. This morning I weighed again (in clothes) and I was 219.4. So not only did I really break 220 I lost a bit on top of that! Yay! 

Wednesday, September 3, 2025

September Weigh-Ins

 September Weigh-Ins

    6 - 222.2

    13 - 220.4

    20 - 218.8

    27 - 220.8

Thursday, August 21, 2025

Six Month Surgery Visit

 My six month surgery visit was today. My six month anniversary isn't until the 26th, but we they did my visit a few days early. I am so frustrated. I have only lost 17 pounds in six months. I am struggling. She talked to me about appetite suppressants, but said they don't like to use those until at least the one year mark. I go back next month for an exercise visit and then I will see her again in two months. 

I am so frustrated. I know I have said that already, but I am. I knew I would have to work this journey and my plan, but I feel like I have struggled every step of the dad gum way and have so little to show for it! I am hoping for better results next month, but who knows what it will bring. 

Therapy feels like it is two steps forward and one step back. We are working on stuff, but the more we work the harder it is to fight the urge not to eat my feelings. 

So I guess that is it for now. Hopefully my next blog will have better news or at least be more uplifting. 

Saturday, July 26, 2025

August Weigh-Ins

 August Weigh-Ins

    2 - 224.2

    9 - 225.6

    16 - 225.8

    23 - 226

    30 - 222.2

Saturday, July 5, 2025

July Weigh-Ins

  July Weigh-Ins 

    5 - 229.2

    12 - 224

    19 - 224.2

    26 - 220.2

Saturday, June 28, 2025

Not Giving Up

 Just because one event doesn't go the way you want it to doesn't mean that God's not in this. And just because you have a God-given call on your life does not mean everything is going to go the way you want it to or be easy but God's in control. - County Rescue



I was scrolling through Instagram and found this quote from one of my favorite TV shows. I needed this reminder. God is still with me. He is still in this. Does that mean that things are going to be easy? No, but He won't leave me. He is still in control even though it feels like I am wandering through life alone right now. I sure wish things were easier but I am not giving up.

Thursday, June 26, 2025

The Next Steps

You said it’s so hard sleeping through night
And you’ve been trying to hide your tired eyes
I remember what that feels like

When your thoughts become a prison cell
But telling everyone you’re doing well
I remember what that feels like

You’ve been asking why God why
Do you always gotta take your time?

I know that it’s not better yet
I know you’re freaking out
I know you think if you were Him
You’d of rescued you by now
I know the last thing you wanna hear is keep waiting patiently
I know that it’s not better yet
But one day it’s gonna bе

So pray with everything you’ve got
Hе’s a never gonna leave you God
I can promise you that
He’s not done with you friend

I know that it’s not better yet
I know you’re freaking out
I know you think if you were Him
You’d of rescued you by now
I know the last thing you wanna hear is keep waiting patiently
I know that it’s not better yet
But one day it’s gonna be

Yeah
One day it’s gonna be

I know that it’s not better yet
I know you’re freaking out
I know you think if you were Him
You’d of rescued you by now
I know the last thing you wanna hear is keep waiting patiently
I know that it’s not better yet
I know that it’s not better yet

But one day it’s gonna be

Yeah
One day it’s gonna be

 

This is a new(ish) song by Leanna Crawford called Better Yet and it has been my theme song lately.  I just went in for my six month check up. I am not doing well with my weight loss at all. Let's back track a bit my friends. I had surgery in February 2025. During the first two weeks post surgery I think I only lost like 4 pounds and that is when I should've been doing some major losing because I was only drinking protein shakes and other liquids approved by my doctor. This time the doctor didn't tell me how much I had lost/gained but some decisions were made...


I have had an eating disorder since I was a child/teenager and it followed me into adulthood. If I am being honest I would binge (never to the point of throwing up, but still binging). I eat my feelings because food is comforting to me. If things are bad food makes me feel better. If I feel good, food is a reward. I concealed these things from my bariatric doctor because I was afraid I wouldn't qualify for surgery if anyone knew about them. 


My doctor's assistant decided that I needed to seek counseling for my eating disorder/food addiction. It took me a couple days to find someone who would work for me. She sent me home with a list of providers. Those either weren't taking new patients or didn't take my insurance. Then I went to my insurance company and searched their list...I called over 75 people only ONE person fit the criteria I had (took my insurance, accepting new patients, would treat my eating disorder/food issues). I had prayed God would send me to the right person and I am hoping this is it because all other doors were shut. 


I have lived my life on this blog were I have been pretty open with my journey. I still intend to be open, but there are some things I will keep private because mental health therapy can deal with some pretty intense stuff at times. 


I am scared because there are things that I do not want to address. They are messy and it is just easier to cram them in a box and not deal with them, but that is obviously not helping things. I hope it will help me build the coping skills to keep moving on this journey and lose the weight I want to because I am not ready to quit. 

Saturday, May 31, 2025

June Weigh-Ins

 June Weigh-Ins 

    7 - 232.2

    14 - 232.2

    21 - 232.4

    28 - 230.4

Saturday, May 3, 2025

May Weigh-Ins

 May Weigh-Ins

3 - 234.4

10 - 233.4

17 - 232.6

24 - 234.2

31 -228.8


Saturday, April 5, 2025

April Weigh-Ins

April Weigh-Ins

5 - 244.4

12 - 249.2

19 - 245.2

26 - 233.8

Thursday, March 13, 2025

Two Week Post-Op Check-Up

(THIS POST CONTAINS TMI INFO. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)

 So I had my two week post-op check up today. I was dreading it so badly. I have cried. I have yelled. I have been frustrated. I have vented to my husband. And that was all before the appointment. I knew it wasn't going to go well and I was not ready for it...and ready for it to be over with at the same time. Ever been there? Yeah, that is where I was! 

I am an obsessive weigh-er. I weigh daily. I only record my weight here once a week, but I weigh daily. The scale just hasn't been moving in a way that I want it to. When I got home from the hospital I started taking something to prevent constipation per the doctors orders. Yeah, it didn't work. So I took something more (again per doctor's orders) and it helped a bit but I am still struggling in that department. Also prior to surgery I was drinking 140 ounces of WATER a day in addition to any other liquids I had so I was well hydrated. The last two weeks, I was told by my doctor to drink 64 oz and that was to include my protein shakes, juices, etc. Pretty much, since I was on a liquid diet, if it went in my mouth it counted in my 64 ounces. Well, I misunderstood and thought I could ONLY have 64 ounces so that is what I did. 

Fast forward to today...According to the doctor's scale I have lost ONE POUND since surgery. I am disappointed. Even though they didn't say it, they were disappointed. All they said was that hopefully we would see more of an improvement with everything by my next appointment in two weeks. I hope so too because I am really frustrated with myself. I have ate/drank nothing but liquids for the last 2.5 weeks and feel like I have nothing to show for it. 

The only good news that came from today is that I graduated to pureed foods today. Stage Two here I come! 

Wednesday, March 5, 2025

PCP Update

 I had my first post-op visit with my PCP today. It went very well. After logging my blood pressures and blood sugars for the last week, he took me off my Mounjaro, Jardiance, Atenolol, and Lisinopril. He told me once again how proud he was of me for the progress I have made so far. I have the sweetest doctor who never ceases to encouragement through my ups! I am so grateful for him. 


The healing itching has started. Must not scratch... On another note, I had a post-op zoom call with the bariatric coordinator yesterday. On the call were all of the patients who had surgery last week. It made me realize just how blessed I am. One guy had already went back to work, but other than that, everyone was talking about how they were having trouble with pain, getting fluids/protein in, etc. I am having none of that. I have been off strong pain meds since Saturday and I have had nothing for pain (not even Tylenol) since Sunday. Today I have drank over 80 oz of fluid and 30 oz of those were protein shakes. Don't get me wrong - I have had my own bumps in the road. God has been very gracious to me, though. I am very thankful to Him for that.

Sunday, March 2, 2025

A Rough Day - Let's Be Real

 Today started out pretty good. Healing is going pretty well. I am off all pain medications except Tylenol. It doesn't completely relieve the pain, but I am very much anti-pain medication. This morning we went to church. Service was great. Everyone was friendly and told me they had been praying for me. I really love my church. 

After church things started going down hill for me emotionally, though. I am only allowed to drink 64 oz of fluid a day right now. This includes my protein shakes and juices that are a must. Screwed up and drank almost all of them in the first half of the day and now I am sitting here wishing I could have something to drink, but I can't. The last amount of fluid has to go for my bedtime medicine. That is problem number one. 

Problem number two today has been a raging case of head-hunger. If you do not know what head hunger is, it is where your head tells you that you are hungry and makes you want to eat whether you are actually hungry or not. I have not been truly hungry since before surgery. But today I am day-dreaming of food. Right now I am only allowed protein shakes, juices, and other liquids. So I decided to sit down and make a grocery list for Stage Two foods. This was actually helpful because it showed me there was a light at the end of this tunnel. That was until...

Problem number three occurred - I am not sure why I didn't notice this before but I am glad I didn't. I am not sure that I would have gone through with the surgery if I had. (Just being honest in this moment...) I was under the assumption that once I got through the stages of my diet to where I was eating normal food again that I would go back to the diet I was on before (3 month) surgery - which was 1200 calories. No, There are 4 phases to this diet and I checked them all. Stages 2-4 all have 750-910 calories (max) listed. I understand that weight loss is a goal, but that just shocked me. 

John made dinner for the kids tonight and after he did I sat down and cried. He told me he didn't understand what I was going through because he hadn't been there and probably never would be, but that he was here for me and would be every step of the way. He was very kind and gentle with me, as he always is, and he let me get my feelings out. I love that man. God couldn't have given me a better man to marry. He isn't perfect, but he is perfect for me. 

Now, I am sure no one will be reading this. Least of all anyone I actually know, but let me make some things clear. One, I have a great support system that I am very thankful for. Two, I do not regret my surgery for anything. Three,  I have stuck to my diet and will continue to do so. Four, I have always been transparent with the things that I have chosen to share on here. I don't share everything but the things I do share I am going to be real with. This new journey will be no different. There will be good days, bad, and in-between. Today was just rough. Tomorrow will hopefully be better. 


- Me

Thursday, February 27, 2025

Post-Op Day 1

 I am not really sure how to count post-op days. Yesterday was surgery day so I am counting today as post-op day 1. Any way...The surgery went well. They were able to complete the surgery all at one time. There was talk prior of saying they may have to do the sleeve part of the surgery then go back and do the switch part. I am thankful that it was all done in one surgery because I do not think that my insurance would cover a second surgery and I am not sure I would want to go through a second surgery. I am in a bit of pain. The pain meds dull the pain but do not completely relieve it, but that is ok. The bad part is my liver is enlarged. The doctor said that he has hopes that it will shrink the longer I am on my new diet. If you are reading this please pray for me. 

Emotionally, I am doing ok, but just ok. Last night, Cindy stayed with me and for the first time I watched My 600-Pound Life. They had a lady on there who'd had The Sleeve procedure previously but she'd gained all of her weight back and then some. I have the resolve that I am going to do this and that I will not go back to my old habits, BUT after spending a lifetime of dieting and failing it scares me to think that this will be another failed attempt. I mean, I know it won't be...but it still scares me. 

So that is my update for now. I will be chilling in between my walks. I have to drink every 15 minutes to prevent dehydration. I am only allowed two ounces per 15 minutes right now. This will continue for two weeks until I return to the doctor. This is Phase One. 

Saturday, February 22, 2025

March Weigh-Ins

 March Weigh-Ins 

    1 - 240.6 (First Weigh-In Post Surgery)

    8 - 239.2

    15 - 238.6

    22 -237.4

    29 -252.2

Friday, February 21, 2025

30 Days of Surgery Songs

When I started this 30 day journey, I complied a list of songs to get me through. Each day gives me a song of encouragement. We are almost through. Only 5 days left! 

30. Chosen 
 
29. Everything is Possible
 
28. Clean
 
27. Fighting for Me
 
 
26. If You Want Me To
 
25. You Say
 
24. Over and Over
 
23. Different
 

Five Days To Go

I had my Pre-Admission Testing this week. I was dreading it because I didn't know what all was involved. It turned out all it I had to do was have an EKG and bloodwork. No big deal...or so I thought. I have always been a hard stick. They couldn't get a vein and when they did get a vein I wouldn't bleed or wouldn't bleed enough. Hospital policy says that each person could only stick me two times. I saw four people. That's right. They stuck me eight times! I just have really bad veins. Thankfully, that part is past me. After that, I went to my pre-op appointment with my bariatric office. I saw the PA. She was really nice. I left the office with a huge list of new (temporary) prescriptions and pre/post-op instructions. 

Today, I packed my bags for the hospital. Yeah, I know it is almost a week away, but it helps me (and my anxiety) to do things early. Everything is now in the van just waiting for Surgery Morning. I am excited! 

Monday, February 10, 2025

Friday, February 7, 2025

Good-bye Insulin

 As of today, I am no longer an insulin-dependent diabetic! I am so excited!! I am so thankful to God and so proud of myself because of the goals that I have met before surgery! Surgery is only going to take me so much further!

Tuesday, February 4, 2025

250

 This Morning I stepped on the scale and I broke 250! The scale showed 248 even! I am so excited! I am so proud of myself! I get my first incentive gift, but that isn't even the reason I am excited. It has been over 20 years since I have seen this weight! This feels so good! 

Friday, January 31, 2025

Diet Class

 Before surgery I have a diet class, a pre-op appt at the hospital, and a pre-op appt with my surgeon I have to complete. Wednesday was my diet class. They weighed me. I am officially down 20 lbs since I started my surgery journey in October. The class was pretty informative and at the same time kind of boring. They went over the first phase of recovery and all of the hospital stay stuff. This is going to be a long road, but I knew that. I am ready to get this show started, though. I am excited and nervous still. 

I have started my 800 calorie pre-op diet and because of that, I had to go down to one hour of walking a day. After my first walk of the day I have "jelly legs" and have problems feeling like my legs are - well - jelly. I can't describe it better than that. It lasts all day. Hopefully, I will be able to adjust and pick up my other two walks before surgery but if not then we will see what I decide to do after recovery. 

26 days left!! 

Saturday, January 25, 2025

February Weigh-Ins

 February Weigh-Ins

1 - 253

8 - 245.2

15 - 245.4

22 - 238.6


Wednesday, January 22, 2025

Houston, We Have A Date!!

The last few days I have obsessively watched my insurance's website waiting for the approval for my surgery to come through so I could call my bariatric doctor's office to schedule my surgery. My insurance company acted like I would know before the doctor's office did. Imagine my surprise when my doctor's office called yesterday and left a message for me to call them to schedule my surgery. I called them back immediately and now we have a date...February 26th!!! 

Of course there is a lot of prep to do in the mean time. I have to go on a more restrictive (800 calorie) diet for a month. I have a diet class, pre-op testing at the hospital, a pre-op appointment with my surgeon. It seems like the list is never ending but it will be worth it. I am so excited, but I am a little scared too. Life is about to get very different for me. 


Monday, January 6, 2025

Month Two/Diet Appointment Number Three

 Keeping track of these appointment numbers vs the months is confusing. This is the end of month two, BUT is appointment number three SOOOOO this blog gets a weird title. I started out at 273 at the bariatric doctor's office. He wanted me to lose ten pounds before I had the surgery. Today was my final appointment for weight management with my PCP. I weighed 258 according to PCP's scales. Now I do not know if their scales are comparable, but I do know that I have lost the ten pounds that the bariatric doctor wanted. I am so excited. There were moments when I truly worried I wouldn't make it. With the grace of God, I did it, though! 

Next Steps - So when I got home I called the bariatric office to make sure that they had received the fax that my PCP's office had sent. They said that it was probably in their stack of faxes but they "hadn't received it yet." She said once they did receive it, that it would go to so and so's desk to be submitted to insurance. Eeek! Insurance usually takes 10-14 business days to make a decision. If it is approved we will move on. If it is not then they will appeal it. Once we get an approval I will have two more appointments. One will be a diet appointment where we will discuss my diet and I will get my surgery date (Double EEEK!!!!) The other appointment will be where we do all of my pre-op stuff. Because of my BMI, I will be required to do a month long pre-op diet. From what I have heard it is pretty brutal. Think, around 800 calories. We will make it though because we do not have any other choice. 

I am excited. I am scared. I am ready to do this! Please pray for me. Life is changing in so many ways. Good changes, but wow, it is a lot. It will only continue!