July Weigh-Ins

  July Weigh-Ins 

    5 - 229.2

    12 -

    19 -

    26 -

Not Giving Up

 Just because one event doesn't go the way you want it to doesn't mean that God's not in this. And just because you have a God-given call on your life does not mean everything is going to go the way you want it to or be easy but God's in control. - County Rescue

I was scrolling through Instagram and found this quote from one of my favorite TV shows. I needed this reminder. God is still with me. He is still in this. Does that mean that things are going to be easy? No, but He won't leave me. He is still in control even though it feels like I am wandering through life alone right now. I sure wish things were easier but I am not giving up.

The Next Steps

You said it’s so hard sleeping through night
And you’ve been trying to hide your tired eyes
I remember what that feels like

When your thoughts become a prison cell
But telling everyone you’re doing well
I remember what that feels like

You’ve been asking why God why
Do you always gotta take your time?

I know that it’s not better yet
I know you’re freaking out
I know you think if you were Him
You’d of rescued you by now
I know the last thing you wanna hear is keep waiting patiently
I know that it’s not better yet
But one day it’s gonna bе

So pray with everything you’ve got
Hе’s a never gonna leave you God
I can promise you that
He’s not done with you friend

I know that it’s not better yet
I know you’re freaking out
I know you think if you were Him
You’d of rescued you by now
I know the last thing you wanna hear is keep waiting patiently
I know that it’s not better yet
But one day it’s gonna be

Yeah

One day it’s gonna be

I know that it’s not better yet
I know you’re freaking out
I know you think if you were Him
You’d of rescued you by now
I know the last thing you wanna hear is keep waiting patiently
I know that it’s not better yet
I know that it’s not better yet

But one day it’s gonna be

Yeah
One day it’s gonna be

 

This is a new(ish) song by Leanna Crawford called Better Yet and it has been my theme song lately.  I just went in for my six month check up. I am not doing well with my weight loss at all. Let's back track a bit my friends. I had surgery in February 2025. During the first two weeks post surgery I think I only lost like 4 pounds and that is when I should've been doing some major losing because I was only drinking protein shakes and other liquids approved by my doctor. This time the doctor didn't tell me how much I had lost/gained but some decisions were made...

I have had an eating disorder since I was a child/teenager and it followed me into adulthood. If I am being honest I would binge (never to the point of throwing up, but still binging). I eat my feelings because food is comforting to me. If things are bad food makes me feel better. If I feel good, food is a reward. I concealed these things from my bariatric doctor because I was afraid I wouldn't qualify for surgery if anyone knew about them. 

My doctor's assistant decided that I needed to seek counseling for my eating disorder/food addiction. It took me a couple days to find someone who would work for me. She sent me home with a list of providers. Those either weren't taking new patients or didn't take my insurance. Then I went to my insurance company and searched their list...I called over 75 people only ONE person fit the criteria I had (took my insurance, accepting new patients, would treat my eating disorder/food issues). I had prayed God would send me to the right person and I am hoping this is it because all other doors were shut. 

I have lived my life on this blog were I have been pretty open with my journey. I still intend to be open, but there are some things I will keep private because mental health therapy can deal with some pretty intense stuff at times. 

I am scared because there are things that I do not want to address. They are messy and it is just easier to cram them in a box and not deal with them, but that is obviously not helping things. I hope it will help me build the coping skills to keep moving on this journey and lose the weight I want to because I am not ready to quit. 

June Weigh-Ins

 June Weigh-Ins 

    7 - 232.2

    14 - 232.2

    21 - 232.4

    28 - 230.4

May A1C

 6.8 

May Weigh-Ins

 May Weigh-Ins

3 - 234.4

10 - 233.4

17 - 232.6

24 - 234.2

31 -228.8

April Weigh-Ins

April Weigh-Ins

5 - 244.4

12 - 249.2

19 - 245.2

26 - 233.8