Month Two/Diet Appointment Number Three

 Keeping track of these appointment numbers vs the months is confusing. This is the end of month two, BUT is appointment number three SOOOOO this blog gets a weird title. I started out at 273 at the bariatric doctor's office. He wanted me to lose ten pounds before I had the surgery. Today was my final appointment for weight management with my PCP. I weighed 258 according to PCP's scales. Now I do not know if their scales are comparable, but I do know that I have lost the ten pounds that the bariatric doctor wanted. I am so excited. There were moments when I truly worried I wouldn't make it. With the grace of God, I did it, though! 

Next Steps - So when I got home I called the bariatric office to make sure that they had received the fax that my PCP's office had sent. They said that it was probably in their stack of faxes but they "hadn't received it yet." She said once they did receive it, that it would go to so and so's desk to be submitted to insurance. Eeek! Insurance usually takes 10-14 business days to make a decision. If it is approved we will move on. If it is not then they will appeal it. Once we get an approval I will have two more appointments. One will be a diet appointment where we will discuss my diet and I will get my surgery date (Double EEEK!!!!) The other appointment will be where we do all of my pre-op stuff. Because of my BMI, I will be required to do a month long pre-op diet. From what I have heard it is pretty brutal. Think, around 800 calories. We will make it though because we do not have any other choice. 

I am excited. I am scared. I am ready to do this! Please pray for me. Life is changing in so many ways. Good changes, but wow, it is a lot. It will only continue! 

January Weigh-Ins

 January Weigh-Ins

    5 - 258.4

    12 -261.8

    19 -

    26 -

Three Hours

 I did it. I decided to pump it up and see what I can do in the next week before I go back to the doctor. I did three hours on the walking pad today! I am very sore but it was worth it. I do not know if I can do that again but I am proud of myself for the goals I accomplished today! 

2025

 I am not a person who makes New Year's Resolutions, but I have been thinking about what the coming year will bring. Where will I be this time next year? What will the new year bring? Will I crush my goals? Sometimes I think I will rock this weight loss surgery. Other times - I feel like this will be another failed attempt in my endless list of attempts to get healthy. (Just being  honest here.) I am in a weird place right now. I feel like I am in a holding pattern right now. 2024 has brought a few changes... more than a few really. 2025 will be bringing so many more, though. I am hoping they are all good changes. My head is full of thoughts tonight but I cannot seem to get them out so I guess I will end this blog post here. 

A Year In Books 2025

 Each year I make a blog post to keep track of the books I have read that year. My goal this year is going to be 52 books. 

1. A Groom for Willow By Patricia PacJac Carroll
2. Allison By Kirsten Osbourne
3. A Groom For Charity By Shonda Fischer

Month One Officially Over

 Month one is officially over...and I am frustrated. I wanted to lose the entire ten pounds that my bariatric doctor has requested of me. According to my scales at home I was pretty close to meeting that goal. Then, today, I went to my PCP for my second diet visit and found out that according to THEIR scales, I lost TWO POUNDS the entire month. I am frustrated and heartbroken. My doctor was so kind and reassuring. He said he was proud of me when I vented to him. I am on a 1200 calorie diet that I have followed every day minus a couple days. I have walked at least 30 minutes every single day and it's been an entire hour for the last two plus weeks. I am now drinking 140oz + of water a day. I am at a loss for what more I can do. So we are playing with my meds now. He has taken me completely off the Metformin. He also increased my dose of Mounjaro to 15mg. He promised me we would get the to the 10 lb mark that my bariatric doctor has requested of me before this is all said and done. I picked up the new dose of Mounjaro on the way home. I will start it on Saturday because that is my shot day. Here's hoping month two will be better. 

Hard Days

 Today has been a very hard day. I have done all the things. The walking pad was the first thing I did this morning. I have been doing a full hour the last couple days. I have been drinking my water. (Thank God for flavor packets!) I have had my meals and stayed within my calories. I can check all the boxes, but I am struggling emotionally. I cried most of the time I was on the walking pad. Nothing happened...It was just a day where my mind started throwing EVERYTHING at me. I am not losing like I think I should and that is disappointing me. I have lost 7 lbs as of today. I was hoping to have lost my 10 lbs that my bariatric doctor had giving me as my 3 month goal. I know it's only been a month, but I really wanted to see me reach that goal. The first week I lost so much so I thought the other weeks would be the same. I do not want to go back to my bariatric doctor having ONLY lost 10 lbs. I go back to my primary doctor next Friday for my second diet appointment. I am really hoping to have met (surpassed) that 10 lb mark by that point. 

So I have spent the day struggling. I have wanted to do nothing more than to get in the van and drive until I outrun the junk that is in my head. However, John works his second job today and he has the van and I am broke so I cannot do what I would do if I had the van. I did the next best thing. I drowned my emotions in a nap and Christmas movies. I watched the newest Grinch movie and a couple Hallmark movies. I cooked lunch and dinner for myself. Tomorrow is a new day and I am sure it will be much better, but today...today has been hard and that is ok.