A New Life

 Today is the start of a new life. Today was full of helpful information and preparation for change. This morning, I met with the phone nurse with our insurance company. She was full of helpful information. I will have a two more appointments with her prior to the surgery and two more after surgery. I have to do a three month diet prior to surgery and have a mental health evaluation. 

This afternoon I met with the surgeon, Dr. W. I went into this appointment so scared. I was afraid that he would deny me care because of my shunt, but he didn't. This was one of the first questions I asked him but he assured me that he thought everything would work out. He wants to have clearance from my neurosurgeon, but other than that we are good. I had lost more weight today which is good. I will not report my weight today because I report that on Saturdays. He put me on a 1200 calorie diet and sent me off with a plan. I did some tests in office and had some bloodwork. 

So here's where we stand right now: My last dietary appointment will be in early January. After my PCP (monitoring my diet) gets the reports back to Dr. W he will submit my entire file to the insurance company. The lady there told me that it takes about 10 business days to receive an approval for surgery. That means we are looking at having surgery late January/ early February! 

There is so much more to expand on but I am going to stop here and unpack that another day. Please pray for me. I am excited and scared all at the same time. I know this journey will not be easy but with God's help I will make it through. I have to. 

Mama

Rewards for Weight Loss Goals

 John and I were talking about rewards for weight loss. For every 50 pounds I lose I get a reward. We decided we would reward at every 50 mark. I have about 35 pounds until my next 50 mark so that is a nice head start, but these are the ideas we were thinking of. 

Rewards For Weight Goals

 250 - Bath and Body Works Lotion

 200 - One Night Hotel Stay

 150 - A Trip to Jenny's

 100 - Goal Weight Trip - We are going to take a nice vacation to celebrate reaching my goal weight. 

 

My List...2024 Edition

 My list...

I saw a post on a friend's blog. She got the idea from one of her friends, and I loved it! For every pound lost, give a reason to have lost that pound! Here is my list so far.


1. To live to raise my kids, not just live but be able to have a full life.
2. To be able to get pregnant without fertility drugs, without miscarriage, and without risking my life to do so.
3. To be able to play with my kids without getting out of breath.
4. Sit comfortably without pinching the nerve in my hip.
5. Walk through the pew at church without having to side step
6. Walk a mile without feeling like I'm dying.
7. I want to see my great grandchildren.
8. I want to be proud of myself.
9. I want to believe my husband when he tells me I'm gorgeous and not just believe he's saying because he feels he has to.
10. Not have my legs touch in the middle
11. To walk in a room without feeling everyone is talking about me.
12. To be able to dress up when I go out on a date with my husband.
13. To not die at the age of 61 like my mama did.
14. To avoid all the health problems my mama had.
15. To be a good role model for my children, especially my girls.
16. To get the new wardrobe my sister promised me 20 years ago if I would lose weight. She told me the other day that she still intends to make good on her promise when I lose everything I need too. (220 lbs to go).
17. To be able to use to Wii Fit. My starting weight exceeded the limit.
18. To be able to hug my husband without leaning forward.
19. To be able to be carried over the threshold for my 10th anniversary.
20. To make my mama proud of me.
21. To be able to shop and not pay extra for my clothes.
22. To have ENERGY.
23. To be able to stand and see my legs.
24. To be able to stand and see my toes!
25. To be able to carry my 7 year old without having back pain for the next day.
26. To rid myself of sleep apnea.
27. To learn how to make healthy eating choices.
28. To feel like said healthy eating isn't a punishment.
29. To no longer make excuses for my eating behavior. (working on that one now.)
30. To not get depressed when I food journal.
31. To have a normal BP.
32. To live without diabetes.
33. To go to the doctor without being lectured about losing weight.
34. To go to the beach without feeling like a freak in a bathing suit.
35. To be able to ride an airplane for the first time without needing 2 seats.
36. To be able to reach others and encourage them through their journey as well. If I can do it, ANYONE can.
37. To be able to jump.
38. To run for the first time ever.
39. To be able to fit into jeans again.
40. To be small enough to have a body fat assessment. (Not that I really want/need to know, but I'm currently over the limit for the test. 02/2012)
41. To be able to have a professional massage. (Right now when I lay on my stomach I feel like I'm going to die)
42. To ride bumper boats again.
43. To be able to weigh my toddlers on WiiFit. (Tried to do this the other day and our combined weight was too much!)
44. To no longer be the fat girl.
45. To have a lap again. (Currently my kids sit on my belly)
46. To be able to carry two of my children at one time.
47. To carry my children without my back hurting.
48. To stand through praise and worship without my back hurting.
49. To be able to make two meals out of ONE restaurant meal and still feel full.
50. To be more outgoing.
51. To walk instead of waddle.

52. When I die, I want to be able to have a normal coffin and not need 12 men to carry it.

53. 2024 - Here we are years later. To be a healthy role model for my teenage daughters.

54. To rid myself of the medicines I take.

55. <this one is private>

56. To make my husband proud of me. 

57. To be able to cross my legs

58. To one day lose my handicap placard.

59. To one day not need the motorized scooter through Sam's Club.

60. To love myself.

61. To be able to sit in a booth again.

62. To be able to get out of the floor when I sit down.

63. To live to meet my children's future spouses.

64. To sit comfortably at the theater.

65. To outlive my Bonus Dad

66. To outlive my siblings (they are all older than me).

67. To live longer than my Dad did.

68. To drive without the steering wheel touching my body.

69. To weigh less than my kids. (I am shorter than they are so my BMI should be less than theirs.)

70. To have my husband be able to pick me up.

71. To weigh less than I did when I got married (220lbs).

72. To no longer being the "Fat Girl"

73. To make my kids proud of me. 

74. To get rid of my seatbelt extender

75. To go to Disney World and be able to enjoy myself.

76. To know that I was (with God's help) strong enough to get healthy.

77. To enjoy my life more.

78. To no longer need a cardiologist.

79. To take up new hobbies.

(To be Cont.)

Blessings,

Weight Loss Mama

Updated Goals List

This is a copy of my original goals list.  I am reposting them with where I am now.

This is a list of my misc. goals divided into categories. I completed my first update to my goals list. I added more entries to my fitness goals list because I had completed ALL of them. What an accomplishment!! Here's to marking off more goals next time.

(Current weight: 302 lbs, Total Loss: 58 lbs - March 2012)

Weight Goals0

1. MET - Lose 5 lbs (5/2011)
2. MET - Lose 10% of my original weight - 36 lbs (1/2012)
3. MET - Lose 50 lbs (2/2012)
4. MET - Lose 20% of my original weight - 72 lbs (2024)
5. MET - Lose 75 lbs (9/2024)

6. Lose 100 lbs

7. Lose 30% of my original weight - 108 lbs
8. Lose 125 lbs. - That will be a whole person!
9. Lose 40% of my original weight - 144 lbs
10. Lose 150 lbs
11. Lose 175 lbs
12. Lose 50% of my original weight - 180 lbs
13. Lose 200 lbs
14. Lose 60% of my original weight - 216 lbs
15. Lose 225 lbs
16. Lose 250 lbs (That's two whole people!)
17. Lose 70% of my original weight - 252 lbs
18. Lose 260 lbs.

Clothing Size Goals

Shirts

1. MET: 3XL shirts (2/2012) 
2. 2XL shirts
3. 1XL shirts
4. Large shirts
5. Medium shirts

Skirts

22/24 pants/skirts
20 pants/skirts
18 pants/skirts
16 pants/skirts
14 pants/skirts

(We will see where this gets me and modify this list from there.)


Health Goals

1. Normal BP
2. Consistent Normal Blood Sugar 
3. Normal Periods
4. Pregnancy


Fitness goals

1. Be able to walk without getting blisters on my feet (1/2012)
2. Be able to walk 2 miles without feeling like I'm dying. (2/2012)
3. Be able to walk 2.5 MPH - 2.4 most of my walk now (1/2012)
4. Be able to walk 2.5 miles (3/2012)
5. Be able to walk 3 miles in an hour or less (3/2012) 
6. Be able to walk 4 miles.
7. Be able to complete my workout at no less than 3 MPH except for cool down.
8. Be able to complete my workout at no less than 3.5 MPH except for cool down.
9. Be able to complete my workout at no less than 4 MPH except for cool down.
10. Be able to RUN a half mile.
11. Be able to RUN a mile.
12. Be able to RUN 2 miles.
13. Be able to RUN 3 miles.
14. Be able to RUN 4 miles.
15. Be able to RUN 5 miles.
16. Complete a Diabetes support race.


Misc. Goals

1. MET - Be able to wear seatbelt in vehicle. (3/2012) 
2. Sit in vehicle without my stomach touching the steering wheel
3. Be able to ride bumper boats again
4. Be able to hug my husband without leaning forward. ;-)


(Created: 1/5/12)
(Last Update: 10/27/24)

Just Putting This Out There

 For the last several years, I have toyed with the idea of weight loss surgery. In fact, almost sixteen years ago, shortly after my mom passed I attended a seminar for said surgery. I found out that I would need to have the most drastic surgery because of my weight at the time. It scared the life right out of me so I left and didn't go back. It has always been in the back of my mind but I have always been too scared. The last couple months, though, have been different. I have thought about it more seriously. Today, I woke up and had a Come-to-Jesus meeting with my husband about everything and decided to look into everything again. 

I spent the day talking to my insurance company. I found out that they require I have a psychological evaluation as well as 3 months of medically supervised dieting. That is really it from them. I found out that there are two offices that are approved through our insurance and toyed with them all day and finally picked one based on a couple things. I did a web-seminar through them today. Then, I filled out all of my medical history paperwork through them. Now, I am waiting on a phone appointment with a nurse through my insurance company that will happen first thing Monday morning. After that, I just wait for the clinic to call me with an appointment to meet with the surgeon. 

How am I feeling? I am scared out of my wits. This is scary. It is scary to have my body sliced and diced all for a chance that this will work. I am scared this WON'T work. After all, everything else up to this point has failed. Why should this work? I am scared that this WILL work. I have been the fat person my entire life. Well, I am sure there was a point in my childhood when I wasn't fat, but even in my earliest memories I was the fat kid. Who will I be if I am not her? Am I strong enough physically to make it through this journey? Well, I know the answer is no, but in my weakness He will be my strength. Am I emotionally/spiritually strong enough to make it through this journey? Again, I do not know. What I do know is that what I am doing is NOT working and I want to live a life worthy of living. I want to see grandbabies and great grands. I want to travel with my husband. I want to live life well instead of just surviving. Financially, this is scary. The surgery and post surgery journey is not cheap. I am looking at ways to make it more affordable so if you are reading this and have any ideas please let me know. Insurance only pays a portion of the surgery. There are also post surgery fees through the clinic. It's all a lot to take in. It is scary, but the will of God won't lead me where the grace of God can't keep me, right? 

If you have read this far - thank you! My blogs are usually a jumbled mess and this one was no different. Please pray for my next steps if you are the praying type. I appreciate you. Maybe Mama really will lose it one day...Just maybe.

Mama